Preschool

kjmaybaby

Hi everyone. My son was 3 in August. He had a speech delay and qualified for services through our public school system which offers a 2 day a week preschool program. Since qualifying and the start of preschool he has made great progress in his speech and is talking much more clearly. He is going into his 2nd week. First day of Pre he did great went right in no issue which was to my surprise as he is usually shy and hadn't separated well in the past. The 2nd day he screamed and cried before we even left the house getting him dressed was like dressing an octopus and when we got to the school he had to be peeled from me and carried away crying his little eyes out :-(  The teacher said he stopped crying after about 10 minutes and he seemed to have a good morning after. Since that 2nd day he had a little library program and gymnastic class that he enjoys going to but cried and didn't want to go once we got there and he saw where we were he was happy and went right in. (Im thinking he wasn't sure if he was going to have to go to school again) I contacted his teacher to see if I could go into the class with him until he get's settled but she said they don't allow parents to do that and that it would make him "dependent" on me and would be a hard habit to break and how some kids just take longer to transition then others but it will get easier. I don't feel I should be putting him through being this upset not only with the 2 morning's he goes to school but now the other day's when he does activities he enjoys.  I just don't feel it's worth it...he's only 3! My husband is leaning more towards agreeing with the teacher and thinks if he is having fun after he calms down then we should stick it out. Looking for some outsider's of AP families opinions!

blu-eyedwife

I've heard the same rhetoric from many parents and teachers, and I think, in theory, it's true.   For most kids, there's still the upset crying when the parent leaves, whether the parent does a 1 second drop off or 15 minute drop off.  And in those situations, I agree with the idea that like a bandaid, sometimes you just need to leave and get it over with - especially if he calms quickly after.

However, that being said, I've been lucky enough to have teachers who don't follow that rule and let me hang out.  In my specific case, my kid really does just need me there a minute or two to get acclimated, and then he's fine with me leaving. I would ask them to compromise and see if they'll let you stay a couple minutes one day.  If he still flips out when you go to leave, then I might be inclined to agree with the providers.

neverblushed

I dealt with a similar situation with my son.  He had JUST turned 3 when he started preschool.  I knew he wasn't 100% ready, because separation from me was very hard, but I didn't want to wait an entire year until he was 4.  Doing swim lessons and toddler classes where I was with him was not the same.  He needed preschool and was ready in every other way.

My preschool also used the "don't come in, we'll peel him off of you, call in 10 minutes to check on him" method.  Since my daughter had gone to the same preschool, I trusted the judgment of the teachers... but it was still hard for the first few weeks to turn and walk out of there and let the teachers handle it.  But... handle it they did.  The teachers were wonderful, and within the first few weeks there were no more tears at drop off.  My son grew more independent and confident through the school year.