Transitioning from SAHM to WM....Advice please!

stgn01

Hi everyone.  I've been a SAHM since my DD was born.  We've moved twice and now I'm in an area where I don't have a ton of connections for a new job.  It's not financially feasable for me to SAH anymore, so I'm jumping back into the job market.  I'm just starting to update my CV/resume and cover letters now.  Any advice to give me?  My kids have only known me to SAH since they've been born.  I've done some side jobs here and there, but I've always stayed home with them.  DD is in pre-k and DS will be 2 next week.  I could use any advice you'll give me.  Not sure how this will work out, but I don't think we have a choice now.  Thanks ladies!

SunAndRain

The best thing I did when retuning to work was to let DH know that I expected him to be 100% on board with parenting AS a working parent.  I created our morning and evening schedules so that DH knows what needs to be done.  We can now easily communicate to know where we each need to pitch in and help.

I literally wrote out a morning schedule, but it boils down to this:

1) DD wakes up - someone needs to greet her, change her diaper

2) DD eats breakfast - someone needs to prep it and feed her

3) DD gets dressed - someone needs to oversee this

4) DD needs her lunch made and packed - someone needs to do this

So if I'm dressing DD, then DH is prepping her lunch. If I'm in the shower and DD wakes up, then DH tends to her.  We share the responsibility 100%:100%, so on the mornings we are both there it is pretty smooth sailing.

As for the evenings, DH works later than me and I value this quality time with DD. So I'll cook her and I a simple dinner or snack. DH will often make a more elaborate meal that we'll all eat together. I tend to do DD's bedtime routine but some evenings I'm just more tired than usual so I'll ask DH to do it.

Also, we share daycare duties: generally DH drops off and I pick up. We switch as needed but this is the general pattern we adhere to.

litzo27

The kids are super adaptable and will adjust to you working very quickly. Pre-K is a great time to be enrolled in full-time preschool as she'll be in full day kindergarten next year anyway and in pre-k they do a lot of transitioning activities. Also the 2 year old will probably enjoy the socialization of daycare a lot as well. I started my boys in daycare at 2 (were with a nanny before) and although it was an adjustment they loved seeing their friends every day and all the different activities. You're going to miss them a lot so make the early transition periods as easy as possible by spending most of your free time in the evenings and on weekends just relaxing with them. Let the cleaning slide a bit (or hire out) and get DH to cook or order out. At least in the beginning until you hit your stride. Which you will. And I really like PP's advice of being clear with DH about responsibilities. Not just about getting the kids ready but about household chores. Who will be doing laundry/dishes/shopping and when. Make a plan that makes sense to both of you and stick to it. It will be fine. Promise
And good luck with the job search! Hope you find something good.

MommyAtty

Let go of the guilt now. Remind yourself that you are doing what's best for your family. Embrace and get excited about contributing financially, because some days the only thing that will get you out of the car and into your building will be your ability to rah rah yourself into it. My 2 yo just started preschool. She has a little runny nose, and when I told her she might need to stay home, she started crying about not seeing her friends. (Thank goodness no fever, so she got to go.). So don't worry about your little ones adjusting!

MommaP12

I agree with letting go of guilt and being excited about this!

Do anything you can to make things easier for yourself.   Here are somethings I do to make things easier:

1. Lay clothes out for the kids and myself the night before

2. I get up an hour earlier than my kids.  I get up at 6 and they get up at 7 and we're all out the door at 8.  In that hour I can get myself ready and pack lunches so when they wake up I can focus on dressing and feeding them.

3. Use my slow cooker 2-3 times a week - this is my best way to get a healthy hot meal on the table.   One day might be leftover day and one day might be breakfast for dinner day, dinner doesn't have to be "June Cleaver" worthy

4.  Outsource/shop online.   I plan to get a cleaning lady in 2015, I'm having a hard time keeping the house clean.  I shop a lot online - amazon, zulily and even my groceries are delivered from Peapod in the winter.   Use services to make your life easier!

Best of luck, you'll get in your groove eventually!

MamaAllison

Good luck! Your kids are at great ages to be put in DC/pre-school, I bet they'll love it!

NADA-H

kids are very resilient, since you are doing what's best for your family think of it as an adventure, it will help your family better cope with life changes and teach your kids to be responsible at an earlier age.

Get organized and get your husband to chip in more in household chores drop/offs and pick-ups since probably you did more of that being a SAHM? 

amieeyoung

The kids will adjust fine, and really it probably won't take them long. It is likely to be a harder adjustment for yourself. Staying home you are probably use to doing all the household chores, when you work full time, hubby will have to pitch in- there simply are not enough hours in the day .

Make things easier on yourself-

The night before- we lay out all clothes, I pack what I can of lunch, children get bathed and I do as well (hubby does his in the morning). Backpack/bags are ready to go for the next day.

I wake up before everyone and get ready first, then lay out my son's breakfast ( he is older now, once I have this little one I will have to feed her), finish making lunch, get son up and make sure he has eaten breakfast has shoes one and hair is brushed. Hubby makes sure he has brushed teeth and is one who drops him off at school.

When I get home I make sure - snack is given (usually hubby has already done this), homework gets done, and straighten up the house while he does homework, then we either go to afterschool activities (we do leftovers for those nights or crockpot meals) or start dinner prep (this is the time son reads if dinner prep and in car if going to activity).

Some things to remember:
Like mentioned above let go of the guilt
Get help from hubby with house and don't worry if it isn't your previous standards (I always straighten some each day, but catch up on the weekend)
Use crockpot/make ahead meals to your advantage
I pay a lot of bills online or over the phone during work lunch
Organization helps, but don't think you have to be perfect and stress yourself out with unrealistic expectations.