PPD check in - 22 sept

yepyepsms

Fire away ladies, how did it go this week?

yepyepsms

I just want to vent. I am way negative this weekend. Here goes...

My daughter is an awful sleeper, it's killing me. I am thinking about starting Ferber when her teeth come in. Did it with my son and plan to with her.

I hate my body and want to work out but I have no time. I have the motivation but not the time. Classic excuse I know, but I am serious.

DH and I feel like roommates more than lovers.

I am so tired. My body aches. Bleh Bleh Bleh. Sorry for the negativity but that's what I feel like right now. This week was a really bad setback. Crazy anxiety and anger about all things listed above.

KBowen715

Thanks for these weekly check ins. I don't have PPD, but I know I teeter from time to time as I have had it before. Never underestimate the giant, albeit happy, change of life that has occurred over the last year!

lrmrtn

This is my first time posting. I've been lurking for awhile because I feel I've been borderline but then started feeling better once I went back to work. However, I've had a major setback. On labor day weekend, I had to admit DH to the psychiatric unit of our local hospital. He was severely depressed, paranoid and anxious. He's home now working through it but this has obviously taken it's toll on me and our marriage. I feel like a single mom, am really angry and resentful and just want to be left alone. I literally come home from work, get DS settled and asleep and then get into bed. I've lost touch with some friends who don't know what's going on. I'm constantly snapping at DH which I'm sure doesn't help him. I went to a support group but don't have help close by to watch DS. I feel like running away...

Lbarron915

smdukes said:

I hate my body and want to work out but I have no time. I have the motivation but not the time. Classic excuse I know, but I am serious. 

 DH and I feel like roommates more than lovers. I am so tired. 

This exactly. My husband has been sleeping on the couch lately because he snores and I am a super light sleeper. It bothers me more than it should. 

He also was laid off about a month ago, and I am feeling major resentment towards him for his methods of looking for a new job (or lack thereof). He was recently joking with me about him becoming a stay at home dad. I was pissed. He KNOWS that all my life I've wanted nothing more than to stay home with our baby, yet I'm back at work part time, and he's saying this to me. I'm just so angry with him. 

And the body issues are awful. Before getting pregnant, I was at my best weight ever (I was training for a half marathon) and now I'm at my heaviest (besides when I was pregnant). I've lost most of the weight, but there's still like 7 lbs that just hang on me and make all my clothes fit weird and make me hate my body. I feel guilty if I want to go work out, because I want to spend that time with my son. 

Bad week for me too.

Lbarron915

@lrmrtn - I am so sorry for your situation. I don't know what else to say except if you ever need to talk/vent/scream/whatever... I think this is the board to do it. Hoping that things get better for you soon. 

deanna1313

I was doing so well for a long while and now I'm not doing so great, but I think it has to do with hormones due to LO deciding not to breastfeed anymore. It's unfortunate that he refuses it now, but at least it lasted that long. Although I'm not too happy that he stopped I'm not freaking out about it. I really think my issue is hormonal and that's why I'm regressing a bit. I'll have to talk to my psychologist about it. Hopefully i won't get worse and things will start to get better again. I'm so bummed about it.

lrmrtn

@Lbarron915‌, thank you, I definitely need a place to vent.
@Lissiehoya‌, I do feel totally alone. While those who know have been really helpful in different ways, I'm the one that comes home to this every night, who has to deal with DH who I barely recognize anymore, who is more like another child than husband right now.
I also feel like everyone and everything is getting the worst of me right now and I feel guilty about this with DS. I know as long as his needs are met, he doesn't really notice but I'll never have this time with him again and I'll look back on this time with anger and sadness, not the joy of having an adorable, sweet, happy 4 month old.

deanna1313

@usernameedit‌ yes! They say it can happen up to a year PP. Sorry to hear that you aren't doing well.

jenb_99

My Wellbutrin FINALLY kicked in. Thank goodness. I can always tell when antidepressants start working for me, because it feels like fog lifting (or just getting home from an extended vacation in Crazytown...ha!). And taking it at night seems to help me most, since early mornings are hardest for me. I'm still a bit overwhelmed and it's hard for me to find the motivation to go out much, but when I do, I enjoy myself. DH and I had a huge fight discussion Sunday night and resolved a few things.

But overall it's been a much better week. No tears, no big blow-ups. Progress!