Intro and question (siggy warning- child mentioned)

FigureSkater8

Hello,

I'm sorry this is going to be a rambling thread but here goes.  We found out Friday at 11 weeks that there was no HB and we lost our baby around 8 weeks.  We had two previous U/Ss with hb at 6 and 7 weeks. We've spent this whole weekend sad/crying and just sitting around the house doing nothing but taking a few walks.  

This morning I was furious with my Mom because I sent her the news last night over email (she lives far away and I thought it'd be too much for me to tell her on the phone).  Well by the time I woke up this morning I had an email from my sister saying "I'm sorry."  How dare my Mom think this is her news to share!  She has since apologized but said I didn't specifically say not to share it.  HELLO!  She also told my dad (which is fine), my brother and my aunt and uncle!!

I'm scheduled for the D&C tomorrow and I'm pretty freaked about it...primarily because after the birth of DS #1, my first days of bowel movements were agony...and I've been reading on these boards that it is a common problem after D&C too. I'm already on 3 colace a day from pregnancy constipation so I don't know how I can make this situation any better for myself.  DREAD.

Finally- a question.  My hubby has a business trip and is leaving Tuesday.  I have a ticket to join him with DS.  Am I insane to plan on flying across the country the day after D&C?  Should I just stay home?  I thought it might take my mind off to leave the house/city...but don't want to do something foolish.  Thoughts?

Pennilyn Novus

Hello there.

I'm so sorry for your loss.  My mother also took it upon herself to share my sad news and then lied about it.  I'm trying to empathize that maybe she thought she was doing me a favor by saving me the pain of sharing, but then I've decided why on earth do I need to empathize anything right now? If you're like me, you're a big churning mess of upset, anger, devastation, and nowhere to really let it out, and moms make such easy targets. 

Unfortunately, my BMs were horrible.  Worse than when I delivered my son 3 years ago.  I recommend that you don't wait until you really HAVE to go to attempt it.  It hurts less when you let it ease out slowly.  Sorry TMI   It took a week before it didn't make me want to cry to go. I wasn't on colace though, and that will probably make a huge difference.

I would play it by ear with your trip.  Some women have relatively little pain and bleeding, and others have a harder time with cramps, tenderness and bleeding. I would clear it with your OB to make sure they are okay with you traveling after having surgery. 

centralperk

I am so sorry for your loss. I agree that your mom's heart was probably in the right place but still was not okay to share your news.

I have never had a d&c but did have an ectopic pregnany removed via surgery. I flew overseas a week later and I was still sore.. I do not think I could have flown the next day. I was in a lot of pain and it hurt to move. I would play it by ear and see how you feel after the surgery. Hopefully you have some kind of travel insurance.

If you do go make sure to say you had surgery and board early. It is nice to take your time down the runway and get all your things in place for everyone else boards.

girlnextdoornco

I'm so sorry, hon.

bansel92813

I'm sorry for your loss! My grandma told my entire family before I was even out of my D&C surgery and it made me so mad! She said "well they're family so they need to know" and I replied "that's my business to tell them". Anyways I had a D&C and the next day I was fine and my healing time was really quick, if that helps!

katie0919

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know you commented on my post, but I just wanted to comment on yours and say again that I'm thinking of you!