Do we want a first time moms' check-in?

pblge

So, maybe this is just me, but every time I see the 2IF grads check-in I think, "That's great! I wonder if there should be one for the IF/TTTC grads who are first time moms?" Maybe we don't need another check-in around here, and I'll confess I probably shouldn't lead such a check-in, but I was just curious if anyone was interested. I don't know about you ladies, but I spent so much time and energy on getting pregnant (and hopefully STAYING pregnant, but that's TBD) that I feel completely overwhelmed by the pregnancy, birth, and baby supply information. 

What do you think?

FishyMom

I think it is a great idea! Maybe the STMs will chime in with advice too!

AMShark

I like the idea, I think it could be useful to have a check-in dedicated to FTM's. 

I'm not currently running any check-ins, so I could be the leader.  I guess we'll wait to see if we get a few more positive responses.  

gsancho

I think it would be great.  If we don't have a huge response, maybe do it every other week or maybe post it as a FTM question check-in?  I just end up having questions, but I get too intimidated to ask on my BMB.  It would also be a nice way to also keep better track of the ladies in other tri check-ins.  I read up on the other check-ins, but not as religiously as on the one I'm in.

Canuck13

I would be interested. The April group is terrifying and a bit awful so I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable asking questions there.

KT416

I like the idea

pblge

Agree about the BMB. There have been some good things there (this is a post I've got bookmarked; this one too), but mostly it's just superficial and annoying. I have a suspicion I stirred up some controversy, but I'm not even clicking on the thread to find out. I'm just getting tired of the garbage that goes on there. :-O

FishyMom

Regarding the BMB boards... They get a little calmer a little later. Mine was scary at first but now I am a regular poster.. But it took a long while to get that way. So hang in there on your BMB.

AMShark

It looks like we have enough interest to start the FTM check-in.  Hooray!

1st Tri check in is Monday, and I think 2nd and 3rd checkin in on Wednesday.

How about Tuesday for the FTM check-in?  Any thoughts?

I like @gsancho 's idea of structuring it as a FTM question check-in.  I vote that we start with that, and see what evolves.

hopeby2015

I like the idea of a ftm asking questions about baby, etc but I'm just not sure what u mean by a question check in? Like we ask questions that we have about potentially being mom's instead of answering questions?

hopeby2015

That makes sense - I'm in!

AMShark

viola27 said:

@hopeby2015  I took it as a place to ask questions, share concerns, express fears, chat about things we will miss from pre-baby life, talk about how we had no idea ____ would be this bad/good, etc. 

To be honest, I hadn't thought it out fully, but I like the sound of this  ^^^

So, that's how we'll try it, me thinks.  

ajlmom

I'm in for a FTM check in too!

pblge

I'll add that I was also thinking of discussing how we make the thousands of decisions that are involved. Prenatal testing (very different for IF ladies, I think), type of birth, birth plans, diapering, etc. This is in addition to the experiences of pregnancy, of course.

runawaylaurel

I like the idea, glad you all decided to go with it!

southernyankeegirl

We have an "Ask a BTDT Mom Anything" (Been there, done that, in case you didn't get the acronym) thread on my BMB occasionally, and it's helpful.

I'd totally participate, I like check-ins as I feel they build a sense of community (and aside from 1st/2nd/3rd Tri check-ins, there isn't much of a cross-Trimester community on this board right now) and get the board more active.

But I can't help but think (tongue in cheek, ladies) that a FTM-only check in is the blind leading the blind ;-)

hopeby2015

@southernyankeegirl‌ I was actually thinking that too

AMShark

I suppose we can have differently themed check-ins - some for asking questions, some just to talk progress.
I think it will work it's way out as we try it.

I was planning on starting a checkin today, but I've had a thoroughly craptastic Tuesday, getting stuck in traffic that added an entire hour to my commute (2h vs 1h), and after back to back meetings, I'm now unable to connect to the internet on my laptop or work phone.
Fortunately, I have a separate personal phone, .... But I don't see me starting any new threads today .

Regan1976

I like this idea as well. I haven't experienced any of the other threads, but I'd like to stick close to the people who graduated over with me to see if they are as baffled as I am with some aspects of this process. They get you all concentrating on the making part and you don't want to get your hopes up about the made part. It's quite a change of mind set and we can probably help each other out more with this than any other group. 

poohniki

There are a lot of people here who already have children. And we could always put a link into SAIF for input to our questions. I agree that the bmb is not the place to ask questions. They'll tell me to go eat some deli meat and some alcohol is fine.

southernyankeegirl

poohniki said:

There are a lot of people here who already have children. And we could always put a link into SAIF for input to our questions. I agree that the bmb is not the place to ask questions. They'll tell me to go eat some deli meat and some alcohol is fine.

I'd tell you the same thing ;-) Doesn't mean you have to be comfortable with that, but it isn't necessarily bad advice, and some of us (even PAIFers) choose to follow less strict restrictions while pregnant.

Why the need to go to SAIF when a lot of the Moms here are BTDT Moms? I'm sure they'd be happy to give us FTMs advice!

BabyKsMommy

I'm a STM and I post on both boards. I'm currently PAIF so I feel like I fit in on both boards. But I know there are a lot of others that also post on both right now who would be happy to answer questions.

You can always just reserve the checkin for FTMs but maybe do weekly "play dates" to ask questions. It is another post but hey this board can use some more action.

pblge

@AMShark‌ - sorry your day was so crappy. ((Hugs)) The check in can be whatever day is easiest for you.

@BabyKsMommy‌ - "Play dates"!! Love it!

LO95

The BMB sucks for the most part.  It isn't informative; it's mostly just a hodgepodge of people squeeing.  Which is okay to a point, but so totally unhelpful.  And since I am at the "beginning" of my BMB I am getting almost nothing from it.  I like the idea of a check-in on this board.

WA1215

I like the idea, but like @southernyankeegirl‌ , I wonder if we as FTM will get the help we need from each other? Maybe we could do a weekly topic or question that anyone could help us with?

AMShark

Ok ladies  - I think I'm just gonna get the ball rolling today.

Here's my plan: 

We'll do a FTM check-in every other week, and do a FTM "play date" with BTDT mom's on alternating weeks.  (Thanks @BabyKsMommy for the terminology - I love calling it a "play date.")  To help get more responses on the play date threads, I'll post a link to SAIF (thanks @poohniki - I like your style).

... and if we find that we don't like how its working out, we can always switch it up.

And henceforth, the day of the week for these thread shall be Thursday!  (Henceforth, or until we change or minds - whatevs).

*** ETA - does anyone else consistently forget to close their parentheses?