Holy crap TTC after 35! Save me!!!

ewenner

I just made the horrible error of lurking on some of the other Bump message boards...  Oh the snark! The humanity!  Please save me with your kind, helpful, non-judgmental wisdom!!!  I swear I will never stray again!!!  

PS - Thank you all for being amazingly awesome.  

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meredithcarole

This is a very calm and (ah-hem) mature board. I have seen some of the ridiculousness on bmbs and I don't think I will ever participate in one even if I do get KTFU again. This and TTCAL are enough for me.

MelissaMiso

I never understand the snark. Don't people remember that momma always said "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"? Even if you are confronting someone, there are ways of doing it with couth.

WinoGrrl

I get the snark a little - I mean if you hang out on these boards all the time the amount of crazy people / completely uneducated (about fertility) people that post with the "I had my period last week, we had sex yesterday and my boobs hurt today - am I pregnant???!?!?" has got to drive them batty.

Some folks take it to the extreme though and are way past snark into just plain rude. 

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ewenner

I definitely think we all have the snark in us (I was, after all, raised in a pack of sarcastic wolves).  It's the conscious decision of when and where to use that snark that makes all the difference.  There are definitely people out there that post things that make us all cringe and want to smack them upside the head.  But in a public forum like this, it rarely seems productive to be so downright mean to each other.  That's what I love about this board - even when someone posts something that might upset or offend others, we generally find a way to respectfully inform that person to be more careful in the future.  It works so much better that way.  It's really amazing what a little mutual respect can do.  

c018924

I dont think I have lurked on any other board where they did anything but being snarky to anyone! I understand what you gals are saying about there being reasons for it sometimes...but it definitely seems over the top in the other boards

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kelley72

I chuckle outloud a good bit on another board I frequent... it fits the mood and and feel of that board.  Here, we are a lot more laid back, I've stopped myself short here on occasion before hitting post in response.  I like the mix of both styles.

vh2014

I've found some of those like a bad accident... I don't want to look but I just can't stop reading.  I do love the "maturity" here if I really have a question, though sometimes I venture to the other boards to read.  I don't watch daytime soaps or night time drama anymore so need to get that guilty pleasure in somehow. Those threads definitely take care of it. LOL

bearfootz

I lurk and sometimes comment but am trying to be better about not letting every opinion fly out of my fingers.

But I sure do appreciate the boards that are actually there for support, like this one.

Davie813

JimBobCooter said:

I fully understand the snark on the IF boards.  People there are going through treatments to no avail and when we get a drive by, OMG I just did my first IUI ever and now I'm knocked up with quadruplets!  Hooray me!, all bets are off.   My personal peeve is the people who are all Oh you should just relax because that helps! My filter blows at that point because how stupid are you?  STFU and go away.  I contain it here, on the rare occasions it happens here,  but I definitely have some snark in me from time to time.

I totally get this too.  As I get longer and deeper into TTC, I get more and more stung by the rare almost-drive-bys and similar stuff that happens here.

But the nastiness on some of the boards doesn't contain itself to sensitive topics.  The venom people can bring to discussions of stuff like baby food or maternity clothes is...really something.  And the long-running feuding between individual members you sometimes see is also...really something.