My kids' a troublemaker?

mrskimm09

Hi everyone. 

I need some advice. Blake just started 3 yr old preschool a few weeks ago. However the age range is a young as 2.5 to 3.5. He will be 3 in december. He has been hitting (not hard, but still) other kids and sometimes his teacher. I don't know where he picked up this habit but he even does it with us. Im so embarrassed and don't want the teachers thinking something is going on at home when its definitely not. My husband thinks he might be bored and he's acting out. 

Should we get him tested for behavior issues? Is it too young to tell? I don't know what to do or where to start. 

Any advice is appreciated. 

XCrissCrossX

I think jumping to testing for behavior problems is premature at this point. Some kids go through a hitting phase. Do you make it abundantly clear right away that hitting is wrong? I get my very mad, very disappointed mom face for hitting, stealing, and talking about killing people (thanks daddy's video games and super hero movies...) and not much else. So DS knows hitting is a big deal and it only took hitting me once to get the picture. Like PP said, I immediately removed DS from the activity and told hm how upset I was and how little boys who hit their mommies don't need to be near other people. Then I put him down and walked away. He was crushed. He's thought about hitting again, and has on a couple occasions. But I always react the same way. And he usually remembers not to before he does.

mrskimm09

Yes we follow through at home. We don't hit him or spank or anything like that. We do time out but now he thinks time out is fun and a game. He says sorry and gives a hug and/or kiss to whoever he does it to but doesn't seem to sink in. I think we are going to take stuff away next.

Im not trying to jump to behavior issues and testing but he's my first and I don't know what the signs are and how soon they show. 

neverblushed

Hitting at age 2.5ish to 3 is really normal.  If the teachers are qualified professionals, they'll have seen a zillion kids go through this stage, and they won't judge you.

At home you can deal with hitting by a combination of consequences -- time out/time in/taking away a toy/whatever method you use -- and offering other ways to take out aggressive and frustrated feelings more appropriately -- hitting a pillow, pounding on clay, running around outside, putting your feelings into words, etc.

mrskimm09

He did it again today. The one teacher was telling me about it and I guess he said daddy showed him. I asked him (when we got home) to show me and he was doing "knocks" or "knuckles"/ "fist bumping". I asked why he was going around to the kids and doing that if they didn't want to do it and he said that a kid took his toy and another kid ran him over with a bike. So Im going to ask the teachers on friday when he goes back. 

janinekrause

It is totally normal behavior. Consequences (i.e. taking away stuff) can work also.

Why does he think time out is fun? Where do you put him? I can't imagine my kids think sitting alone on a couch in a room alone is fun with no toys, they can't move, they can't talk. Just curious how/where you are doing it.

mrskimm09

He thinks its a game. He sits in the dining room with no toys or interaction with anyone. I don't know where he gets it from. 

Anne Mommy

My thoughts (as a total outsider) is that the game has to have something in it for him. Is it attention? I would try to see what he might be getting out of it and try to give it to him another way. 

inlove5

What is the precursor to the hitting?  Is he mad at the person?  Trying to get their attention?  etc

mrskimm09

Turns out other kids were instigating the hitting and Blake was getting blamed for it. 

MNgirl326

Kids go through hitting phases.  Whether or not he was doing it this time or not, chances are he will.  ITs normal at this age.  I wouldn't be jumping to behavioral testing or anything like that. 

Just stay consistent with things at home and ask that the teacher be as consistent as possible as school.

It will pass.  he doesn't have to "pick it up" from anyone.  hitting is a natural behavior that kids do and it doesn't make them or their parents bad. 

Take a breath and relax.