Talk to me about time outs

nunzchucks

Tell me about your time out system. Where is it? How long? Do you have to hold your kid in place?

I've been doing ours in a corner of the dining room for one minute. If I don't hold DD in place and just send her to time out, she will lay there and screw around when I'd really rather she view time out as "not a fun thing". Help!

countrygrl5533

In the hallway. Until she calms down or 3 minutes if she isn't screaming. If she's really intense and throwing a huge fit, she has to go to her crib which is often closer to 10 minutes. That is more for a safe place to calm down than a punishment though.

I don't have to hold her still but sometimes I have to go over multiple times and sit her back up if she's trying to crawl around. Each time I have to do that, adds about 15 seconds to her time. But honestly, as long as she isn't playing, if she wants to lay on the floor and scream, I let her.

Our biggest problem right now if keeping the cat away from her. The cat wants to comfort her friend.


General rule of thumb is they are in time out for as many minutes as they are in years. So 2yrs should get 2min. And we used to. But 3min seems to work better for her. At 2min, she just doesn't get it for some reason.

nunzchucks

Are you setting a timer @countrygrl5533‌ ?

countrygrl5533

nunzchucks said:

Are you setting a timer @countrygrl5533‌ ?

Sometimes. Sometimes I just peek at the clock. But more often then not right now, she's pitching a fit when she has to have time out so I just wait until she's calm.

Wipz

I took my old baby gate/play pen system... for those of you that remember the super deluxe6x8  baby jail and  it's long been stripped down to cover low profile windows and bathroom doors etc. since we live in an upstairs apartment,..I had some spare panels and so I used it to make a small square.. approx 2.5 footx 2.5 foot.  If he is hitting or throwing things or acting out in a way that  could hurt him and won't listen.. he goes in.  

Usually its about 2 minutes or till he calms down if he continues to throw a pissy fit while in it.  When he is done I just ask him.. "are you done"  if he says yes ( aha)  he comes out and gives me a kiss and then a hug and says sorry mommy.. which is usually just  mommy mommy mommy as he hugs me.

If he says no, then he stays in and I ask him again in about 30 seconds...he rarely says no LOL.. but it does happen.

He actually plays in the damned thing when it's not being used for time out but it does seem to be working and his hitting and rough horseplay is  lessening ( It's usually not meant in a bad way.. and only ever happens to me and daddy, mostly me) I'm seeing improvements, so it must be doing something.


This sure is an interesting age... lol

nunzchucks

I think I need to find a new timeout spot. Maybe the entryway where it is tile and there are no curtains to screw with. It's the playing and laying in time out that drives me nuts!

eyenigh

We had been putting him in his room but it turned out that this was not much of a punishment because as soon as we left, he'd just find something to play with until I came back. Now we have him sit against the door of his room in the hallway. Sometimes he'll try to crawl out and peek into the living room but as soon as I look at him and tell him to sit back, he huffily goes right back down. I can tell by his grumbliness that I've picked a perfectly unenjoyable place.

cmsdouglas

We usually do 1-2 minutes in an approx. 2 ft cubby between a dresser and a partial wall. We had to hold her in place for a loooong time, but she's finally getting the idea of staying there on her own.

On a side note, they apparently have a "time-out" chair at daycare and she pretends to sit in that when she gets home.  I think she likes the idea of the chair - it makes me wonder if she misbehaves just to be able to sit in the chair...

lindslalala

Time out is in the dining room on a chair we have in the corner. He sits for a minute or so, I don't time it. unless he's throwing a massive fit...then he sits there until he calms down. I've never had to hold him there, I think in part because we started timeouts a long time ago. When we first started them he went in the pack and play in the same spot and he couldn't climb out. The transition to the chair was pretty easy after that.

kaleb87

We don't do time outs often but when we do it's a struggle. Somedays, just threatening a timeout is enough to stop the behavior and have het apologize. If my dd is hitting or throwing a fit and refusing to listen then she gets timeout.
I have her sitting in a chair and she used to do pretty good with it as time out. However last time she kept getting out of it just to spite me. She would just stand up and look at me to see what I would do next. I just kept grabbing her and sitting her down. Not going to lie, a seat with a seat belt would be nice.
Once she settles down and says sorry she can be done. It normally takes three minutes or so. Then we hug and talk about why she had to serve time.

Lesleyjking

We do the corner too and she also screws around. So, Im back to putting her in her pac n play that is only used for timeouts. If those don't work, I take away privileges for the day (reading books before bed, bubbles etc)

K gets several a day, she's REALLY into hitting me

[Deleted User]

We do time outs for hitting or throwing, anything dangerous he knows he's not supposed to do. I have to put him in his crib rather than the corner or it becomes a power struggle. I put him in the crib, tell him his having a time out and I'll be back in 2 min. He HATES it. But he already doesn't like his crib very much, lol.
He's usually pretty upset still when the 2 min is up, so I tell him time out is all done and ask him if he's ready to get out, and wait if he says no.
I'm not so sure about the time out as punishment, i.e. they need to hate it. I think the point is that they have to stop having fun with whatever they were doing and take a break. If she's good at playing with nothing, maybe there's another tactic you could try to get the message across? I know TO are really popular but I don't think they necessarily work with every kid. Sometimes if DS is say, trying to color on the table or use his fork as a drum stick, I just take it away and tell him why. If he's being really defiant about getting dressed or something with me, I say ok, Daddy will do it, and leave. He definitely gets those messages.
HTH and GL!

krispy83

We do timeouts in the hall - I have to close the bathroom and bedroom doors, otherwise he'll crawl/scoot around and if we do them elsewhere he'll play.  I set a timer for 2 min that is loud enough that he can hear it.  He knows that when the timer goes off, the time out is over, but if he's still freaking out/screaming he has to calm down before he can get up.

If he gets up and runs around or anything like that, I restart the timer and he knows that.

nunzchucks

Well, we moved time out to the corner in the hall. It's actually working a lot better since it isn't comfortable to lie down there. I've also ramped it up to 2 min as we had only been doing 1. Really appreciate all the tips, everyone!

Wipz

We live in an apartment.... we don't have a hall LOL There really isn't a room with nothing in it, so the play yard works best for us ....and there is no way in hell he will stay sat on a chair right now... My Pisces in an Aries in disguise   8-| 

Glad you found a fix to your problem