Weddings!

elsa1688

Give me advice please

What splurges were you happy with? What would you spend money on if you did it over?

What was a waste of money?

RedMar

Definitely spend the extra buck on a good photographer! Preferably one that will let you buy the rights of their pics!

nunzchucks

We splurged on photography. Totally worth it. We skimped on invitations, favors, the cake, reception decorations, and flowers. Basically anything consumable was on the cheap.

Savvy122

When we were planning our wedding, someone told me that the things people remember most about a "good" wedding are the food, the drink, and the music.  And I agree with @RedMar - having the rights to your photos is a huge bonus.

elsa1688

@RedMar‌ that's one of the things we are debating right now. I really love the photographer but I think her photos might be a little dark (like in contrast?).

ELC252011

For me the photo booth was a hit and we also used it as our favors and signing book I would use it again. Splurge on photographer you're always going to have those pictures.
Waste of money fancy invites. No one really keeps them so a nice DIY or a simple design. Also I went with flowers that are in season.

k2k2tog

We splurged on dresses and tuxes, in that we actually paid for them for our wedding party. This was very important to me because I don't think it should be an expensive thing for friends or family to support the bride and groom. We only had two on each side though. A small party keeps things affordable if you decide to do that.

And food! Good food makes a good party.

steprozz

food. open bar. music. pictures.

everything else you can save on.

elsa1688

@steprozz‌ even saving on everything else, it all adds up so damn fast.

https://iamkristenmarie.com
Opinions on the photographer?
@nunzchucks‌ @RedMar‌

jenlynne0624

Photographer definitely.  

DJ! Our dj was pricey but he made the reception. Djs set the tone and make sure your reception runs smoothly. 

Food. 

Go cheaper on the cake. We got ours from a small local place that is located on a farm. They used fresh ingredients and was really inexpensive.

skimp on invites. I designed and ordered mine from David's bridal online. They always run deals. Use postcard response cards because it will make your invite lighter so you won't need as much postage.

Favors. I am a big believer in edible favors- we did a candy bar for the wedding and gourmet popcorn for my baby shower. I have been to too many weddings where people pass out little votive candles or flower seeds, etc and most people left them on the tables. Three of my cousins used the money they would have spent on favors and made a donation to the American Cancer Society in honor of sick and deceased relatives. 

kks4471

I agree with PP about photographer and food, but I also think you need a great venue.  The venue can help provide a wonderful backdrop for your photos, and have delicious food (unless you cater food in).  I don't mean that you have to spend a billion dollars on a venue, but it should be a meaningful place.  If it's a free park, awesome!  If it's a snazzy country club, fantastic!  Venue, photography, and food were the most important to me.

tbmadeamistake

This may end up being long, I planned my entire wedding in about two months, did a lot of things myself, budgeted like crazy, and loved every second!

We printed our own invitations, you can buy really nice kits at Michael's craft stores or on amazon.

We had an open bar, but only two beers and two wines. We also made sure they would take back any unopened bottles. (you can do full bar but only open for the first hour)

I found a friend's aunt who did flowers.  Using all wildflowers cut down on cost drastically and fit with my look.

I haggled with the caterer.  They gave me a menu and a price, I asked what we had to change to get it to the price I wanted.  I ended up $3k less than they originally quoted and everyone loved it. We did have a bbq theme, so having paper plates instead of real actually fit ok.  Buffet is cheaper than plated and served at the table.

We had my brother perform our ceremony. In MA you can pay $25 to be legally able to marry one couple on one day at one location (they are very specific).  Other states you can get ordained online and it's legal.

I gave my bridesmaids a color and let them pick their own dresses to keep their costs where they were comfortable. Late July wedding so it was hot and the guys didn't wear tux jackets, just the vests.  The rentals for the tuxes would have been $150 with the jackets, they were only $50 without and they would have only worn the jackets for the ceremony anyway.

Our photographer we spent money on, she was awesome.

I spent money on my dress.  I got the one I fell in love with, you want to feel your best as well as look good on your day. 

I wish I had gotten my hair and makeup done professionally.  Everyone said I looked great but I think I would have felt better if I had someone else do it.

No limos, no chairs at the ceremony site (would have cost a ton to have someone move the chairs from the ceremony site to the reception site on the same property, our ceremony was ten minutes), no seating plan. 

I made all our favors myself.

We spent money on our honeymoon.  The wedding was awesome and the reception was a total blast, but that was one night and we spent a week on our honeymoon.  If you don't have a separate budget for that, I would set aside what you'd like to spend on that now, before you start adding up bills.  I also set up a honeyfund.com registry as well as our in store registry, so people could contribute to that.  It allows you to select specific things (buy them a drink a beach, get them a trip to a local tourist attraction, money towards plane tickets, etc) so people can feel like they bought a thing, rather than just tossing you money.  It's all done through paypal I think. 

I have more, I'm sure, let me know if you want any specifics.

kriati03

Agreed with the photographer and if they make a really nice flush mount album, totally worth it! That is what will come with us for years and years.

In terms if cake, we skipped it all together and don't regret it a bit! We had a dessert table with a variety of sweets and got lots of compliments.

jenlynne0624

OH! I bought some stuff off the theknot message boards. I got my glassware for the candy bar for 40 bucks instead of spending that one 1 apothecary jar. Then I sold them to one of my brides at the store after. I made a lot of stuff too and printed program and place cards at home.

elsa1688

@Lilygrace48‌ thanks for all the info!

steprozz

oh @elsa1688‌ I know! it's insane how much stuff costs!

I was 5 months pregnant with DS when I got married so we were trying to be super cheap. we had it at a restaurant with amaaaazing food, all the linens, chairs, tables, silverware etc were included in the rental fee and the food was reasonable because it was all made in house, so that saved on having to use a bunch of different vendors. splurged on open bar and got lucky our dj was awesome and reasonable. I found a florist who ran a budget program on the side of her insanely expensive regular business so I had her skill for a quarter of the price. got the wedding cake at publix which was also like a third of the price of a fancy bakery one and publix cake is fucking delicious. just do research as much as you can. there are definitely options out there you just have to know the right google keywords lol

I didn't splurge on a photographer. I used a family friend and she took nice pictures but at the time I didn't want to remember what I looked like because I was a whale and I hated my dress and my hair and I just didn't care. but I really wish looking back I had spent the money on a good photographer. it was still my wedding.

jenlynne0624

Those pictures are beautiful! They are fun and quirky and seem to be personalized not cookie cutter. 

rainbowdashh

Food and booze. Skimped on the photographer, but I really hate having my picture taken. They got good shots and while I'm not in love with every picture, I'm happy with what we have.

But seriously, food and booze.

Taymiller

Like everyone else has said do not skimp on the photographer, we hired DH's cousin thinking it would save us money and it didn't and she SUCKED! It makes me sad that our pictures suck.

No one cares or remembers the invitations. We saved a lot by not having a dj and doing all the music ourselves and it turned out awesome. We didn't do flowers, my mom did cool decorations but not flowers. I had flowers and that was it, saved a lot with not having flowers.

We did a late wedding on Friday and doing it on a Friday was less expensive but we did it late enough that people didn't have to miss a full day of work.

Brittnic531

People still talk about our chocolate fountain and Italian soda bar.  Our cake was beautiful, delicious and affordable.  We found the lady at a wedding expo, so definitely shop around.  We had our wedding and reception in the same room and the venue was amazing at the seamless transition and everyone stayed to party afterwards.  We also printed our own invitations that we found at Walmart, no one knew the difference.  We also printed our own bulletins (or whatever they're called).  The DJ was awesome and people stayed until we left, so a good DJ is a great investment.  A good photographer is important like others have said, and know what you like when you hire him/her.  I wanted more of the funky photos, but my photographer was traditional and then asked me what poses I wanted.  I had no idea because I thought he would be the creative one to figure those out.  Good luck planning!

ETA: I remembered a few more things. I didn't do engagement photos or save the dates.  Don't regret it and no one noticed.  I also got my makeup done for free at the Clinique counter at a department store.  I could come in and do as many trials as I wanted beforehand, they wrote down what I liked and I could schedule an appointment for the day of my wedding.  Awesome way to save money, for me at least. 

rachel8078

We had a fairly large wedding of 300+ so the whole thing was pricey even though I made invites, programs, decor myself. I actually wish I would've spent less on everything. My dad paid for essentially the entire thing singlehandedly in less than five months, so I regret getting caught up... Remember the wedding is one day, the marriage is what's important.

TL;DR: spend as little as possible and invest in something more permanent/useful.

b48kate

We eloped so I boiled it down to the things that were most important to me...namely I spent good coin on my hair and makeup (and making sure my hair an makeup were well documented). I just wanted one day to play the role of "girlie girl".

MarciP83

Hubby and originally I got married at the courthouse 9 yrs ago, but last May we renewed our vows and had a "wedding". At the last minute we booked a photo booth. It was pricey, but worth every single penny. The company we hired made a custom print out background for the photo strips with our colors, had tons of nice props, and the best part was the booth printed an extra strip of pics each time, and when the people came out, an attendant glued the extra strip In a really nice scrapbook and had the people in the pic write notes and sign it. Coolest guest book ever. We laugh every time we look through it!! Also, I was on a pretty tight budget...but i really wish I had done better research on the DJ. He was awful and even butchered our last name after asking us and practicing a gazillion times. Oh well tho! We had a blast celebrating with our friends and family...

cinnamonsmiles

Splurge on the dress, location, and honeymoon. We used a church to get married in (free) and had the reception at a lodge on a lake. I opted for a cash bar as I didn't want people getting totally sloshed on my dime, and we did buffet style bbq. I know everyone says to splurge on a photographer, but we used an up-and-coming guy (amateur) who did a phenomenal job for under $1000 and gave us the rights. My only advice on that is NEVER use a good friend because if you hate them, that'll put a rift between you. I put together all of the music for ours on cds and timed it. I asked people before on Facebook what songs they wanted to dance to so no DJ was necessary IMO. Honeymoon - go friggin all out! Like a PP said, it's one day compared to multiple days of you enjoying each other.

lest12

We eloped and had a post-nuptial party. We went to Vegas and splurged on the hotel (We stayed at the Bellagio... So so nice), dinner (I forget the name but it was at the top of the palms and ridiculous) and poolside drink service for the 4 days we were there, lol. But I feel like that's not helpful... For the post-nuptial, we got away pretty cheap, since it wasn't a full-out wedding. It was at a yacht club in August and very New England beachy. I loved all the little details (favors were salt water taffy... Hydrangea center pieces... Lanterns to put gift-cards in, etc) and they were all things I worked on myself to do cheap enough. You don't have to spend a lot to make that stuff special! That being said, what we did splurge on was a raw bar with oysters, cherry stones, clams, etc. it was a little pricey but such a hit! We thought our crowd would enjoy it and they did. So I'd suggest if there's one thing that you think will make it stand out, then go for it!

nunzchucks

Wow! That photographer is amazing. She has a great eye!

frenchchocolate611

I agree with everyone else - I would focus the most on the food and the photographers. Everyeon talked about how much they loved the food that we had at our wedding and the photos we ended up with are amazing. I loved that our photographers were a husband and wife team - the husband stayed with the guys in the morning while they were getting ready and the wife was with me and my bridesmaids. It was so great to see what they guys were doing in addition to the traditional photos of the bride getting ready.

I also spurged a bit on my dress. I know you only wear it once, but I LOVED my dress and was willing to cut corners elsewhere to get one that I loved that much. To do this we ended up doing a lot of things ourselves including the invitations and all the decorations.

frenchchocolate611

Also if you are planning on a honeymoon, I would suggest using a travel agent! Normally I plan all of our trips but I just did not have the time in addition to planning the wedding. I had never used a travel agent before and didn't know that it was free!! We just told her we wanted to go to Costa Rica and what we wanted to do there and she did all the research/booking/etc for us - it was awesome!

RedMar

@elsa1688 I like her candid style. Being a photographer, it's possible to edit almost anything! If you want the picture lighter or you notice a stain on your dress after the reception (gasp!), you can have them fix it. I don't charge for additional edits if they are within reason. This may be something you want to ask her just in case. So excited for you!

elsa1688

Thank you so much for all the amazing advice! We are the first of our friends to get married and have a baby, so it's awesome to have all your amazing advice.