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I think I'm permanently out of the game.

southernbelle82southernbelle82 member
in Secondary IF
So I think my time here is coming to an end. I'm 98% sure we will not be pursuing IVF. Our insurance doesn't cover IVF, so we'd be OOP and we just don't have that. With the blood clotting issue, and 3 previous c-sections, my OB is not thrilled with us pursuing IVF. It's just a lot to go through physically and financially with no guarantee. We're heavily considering foster to adopt. It's a mixture of emotions...grief for the end of biological children, fear for all the unknowns and things we'd have no control of, but also excitement to welcome a little one into our family. We've always talked about adopting someday...I think the time has come to pursue that. 

Thank you all so much for your support and encouragement during my short time here. Please know each of you are in my prayers, that you would be blessed with a miracle...or miracleS very soon and be surrounded by support and encouragement during this difficult time!!! 


DD 6/17/08, DD 6/9/10, DD 12/15/11
BFP 5/24/13 - Natural MC 6/7/13
BFP 8/13/13 - Natural MC 8/27/13
Ovarian Mass = removal of left ovary & tube 9/13
BFP 4/24/14 - Tubal Pregnancy 5/7/14
Removal of  ruptured right tube 5/8/14
IVF or adoption??
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Re: I think I'm permanently out of the game.

  • lupineauralupineaura member
    (Baby mentioned)



    Best of luck moving forward. IVF is not an option for us either. A good friend of mine just adopted an adorable baby- success stories are out there!
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  • GraceyandTroyGraceyandTroy member
    I'm sorry you're at the end of this journey before you have a baby in your arms.  But it sounds like you're in a good place.  I wish you the best with your new journey and I know so many adoptive parents who look back on their history and know they never would have made it to that child had it not been for all the heartache and closed doors along the way.  And they are glad to be where they are now.  So, I hope the same becomes true for you in the very near future.  
    Happily Mrs. C 
    image  image

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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
    start ttc #1 in Jan 2009
    dx PCOS in May 2010, begin metformin
    Two failed clomid cycles (made lining too thin)
    Started acupuncture while saving for IVF in Sept 2011
    Add herbal infusions to the mix in Dec 2011
    Hoping holistic approach works!!!

    BFP on April 2012 at 11dpo
    Meepy Man born on Jan 2013 - Hip Hip Hurray!

    Ready to start ttc #2 April 2013, but plan to be an extended BF'er
    Back on metformin Aug 2013
    Restart herbal infusions Sept 2013 - currently drinking nettle, oatstraw, and red raspberry leaf
    DS weaned in April 2014
    Taking a break from herbs and just riding the healthy train.  
    Planning medicated cycle end of summer.  FX I get KU before then!!!
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  • Bananappeal145Bananappeal145 member
    I'm so sorry. I know that must be a hard place to be. I know you will be a wonderful mother and a wonderful family for whatever baby comes to you, biological or otherwise. ((hugs))
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    TTC #2 since 1/1/13

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  • Jodee37Jodee37 member
    i think your decision is right because it's what works for you and your family. i can imagine how hard it was to come to that decision. i wish you the best of luck and hope you get your little one soon. take care.
    Me: 36, DH: 36
    DH's SA = normal
    1 tube only wonder
    AFC 3-5, AMH 0.30

    BFP #1 3/29/11.  EDD 12/4/11... Missed m/c 5/9/11. Cytotec fail. D&C 5/17/11.
    BFP #2   7/5/11.  EDD 3/14/12... Our rainbow Kellen born 3/14/12 via c/s.
    BFP #3 5/30/13.  EDD 2/8/14...  6wk u/s HB 126. 8wk u/s lost HB. D&C 7/12/13.
    BFP #4 2/18/14.  EDD 10/30/14... Ruptured ectopic with L tube removed & D&C 3/7/14.
    BFP #5 7/27/14.  EDD 4/9/15...  m/c @ 5w4d.

    IVF #1    Oct 2014 - antagonist protocol: 9R, 7M, 5F. 3dt of 3 Grade 2 embies. BFN. 
    IVF #2    Jan 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.  Converted to IUI #1. BFFN
    IVF #2.1 March 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.

    BFP #6  (SUPRISE!) 3/19/15.  EDD 11/30/15...  CP at 4w2d.
    IUI #2:    Clomid + Follistim = 3 follies. BFN.
    IVF #2.2 May 2015 - horrible response to micro lupron flare protocol: 3R, 3M, 3F. 3dt of 2 Grade 3 embies. BFFN. 

    BFP #7 (beyond surprised again!) 4/26/16. EDD 1/5/17. beautiful betas!!!! and then near-fatal hemorrhagic corpus luteum. turns out baby was ectopic after all; another lap 5/6 (@24dpo).

    the universe can fuck off.


     "You are overly paranoid and delusional that every one is out to get you." -lastsliverofhope

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    all AL welcome. TTC #2 for 43 44 months.
    follow my infertility journey here at timestandsstillblog.com

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  • lawmom747lawmom747 member
    I am sure this was a difficult decision to make, and I wish you all the best with the adoption.  ((hugs))
    Me: 35 DH: 35 - Married 10 years
    PCOS and MF
    Two failed rounds IUI in 2010
    IVF #1 in 2011 - BFP 8/5/11 - Our IVF miracle was born 4/8/12
    FET 9/23/13; BFP -Twins-10/3/13; EDD 6/10/14; MC 11/1/13; D&C 11/4/13
    FET 3/28/14; BFN - 4/7/14
    IVF #2 - Transfer 2 embryos 11/14/14; BFP 11/24/14 - Beta 265;
    11/26/14 - Beta 612; 11/28/14 - Beta 1263; 12/1/14 - Beta 3571;
    12/3/14 - first u/s - two gestational sacs; 12/17/14 - two healthy heartbeats (132 and 134)
    Our IVF miracles were born 7/16/15

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  • MoFreeMoFree member
    I'm very sorry. I hope you find peace with the situation.
    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

    FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

    FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

    No more frosties

    IVF #2. September 2014

    PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

    SET November 9, 2014
    Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

    Not sure where to go from here.

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    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • BookishMommaBookishMomma member
    I'm so sorry you are at this point. I hope the new plan (though so hard to accept) will lead to wonderful things for you and your family.
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    DX: I'm a Recurrent Loser
    Me (35) + DH (37) - Married Sept. 2007
    BFP #1 - DS born 7/11/11
    BFP#2 11/13/13 - EDD 7/29/14 - M/C at 5w3d
    BFP #3 12/28/13 - EDD 9/7/14 - M/C at 4w6d
    BFP#4 3/27/14 -  EDD 12/5/14 - Girl lost to 45X at 8w6d - D&C 
    BFP#5 10/15/14 - EDD 6/30/15 - M/C at 7w2d
    BFP #6 1/5/15 - EDD 9.16.14 [CLICKY for progress]
    In search of a image


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  • FlamingemuFlamingemu member
    I hope you are all able to come to peace with your decision and good luck with all that that brings. 

    Kid #1 - 09/03/12
    Kid #2 - maybe???
    Diagnosed with Severe Ashermans 
    Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
    #11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
    1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
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  • tortuga47tortuga47 member
    I'm so sorry, but I'm happy to see you are in a peaceful place right now. Miracles happen everyday, and like I keep telling DH, a baby is a blessing no matter how they come into your life. Biological or not. A blessing.
    Sept 2013 started TTC#2 (never got PP period so hoping for the first egg to drop)
    Jan 2014 - diagnosed POF (Premature Ovarian Failure) and told pregnancy not possible without egg donor because my ovaries would never function again with my hormone levels (FSH 136, LH 98.6, AMH <.03, estradiol 0, HCG 7) - using acupuncture, chiropractic care and TCM herbs / supplements
    March 11, 2014 ovulated despite every doctors prognosis!!!
    Oct 2014 hormones (FSH 48, Estradiol 89, HCG 1) not good, but heckuva lot better!

    Nov. 16, 2015 FET of single adopted 5AA embryo - BFN
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    Read all about my TCC Journey here in my Blog Taking Back My Ovaries
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  • jen4nyjen4ny member
    I am sorry you have come to this point. Good luck as you move on to the next step. 
    "From the moment I first saw you, the second that you were born, I knew that you were the love of my life" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Me: 35, DH: 40
    TTC # 2 since 8/13, Dx: unexplained secondary infertility
    Clomid cycles 7/14 & 8/14= BFN
    IUI # 1 (clomid) 8/27/14= BFN
    IUI # 2 (clomid and follistim) 9/25/14= BFN
    IUI # 3 (femara and follistim) 10/23/14= BFN
    IUI # 4 (femara and follistim) 11/20/14= BFN
    12/12/14- saline sono shows two polyps
    2/15- two uterine polyps and "schmutz" (RE's words) removed
    8/15- surprise BFP! Beta #1 70 Beta #2 150 
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  • HawaiianSunset09HawaiianSunset09 member
    Im so sorry, good luck with your next steps, whatever they may be.
    .Became a mama to my sweet little boy after 3 years of waiting and praying in October '12. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Miscarried twins from our first IUI cycle. D&C on August 14th, 2014
    Second IUI cycle: BFP
    Beta #1 (13dpiui): 74 Beta #2 (16dpiui): 505 Beta #3 (18dpiui): 1205
    First Ultrasound- 6w2d 110BPM! Our baby has a heartbeat!!
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