three year old DD throws tantrums. every. morning.

dglvrk2

So most weekend mornings we are alright.  However, no matter what we do, she throws a tantrum as H and I are trying to get ready for the day on weekday mornings.  

DD#1 turned three this summer.

Our morning routine is this:

I get up, get complete ready and get DD2 (eight months old) up.  We nurse and get her dressed.  

H gets DD1 up about fifteen minutes before we have to leave while I give DD2 cereal and eat my breakfast.  She's usually awake, but willing to lay in bed until we get her up.  

She goes to the bathroom, gets dressed, and is ready to leave for DC.  She eats breakfast in the car.  (a waffle or piece of toast)

DD1 is usually cheerful for a minute or two when she first gets up.  It's downhill from there.  No matter what she wears, she throws a tantrum about getting dressed. We have her pick out her clothes the night before, so there are no surprises.  H gets her ready.  I think there's a bit of a personality clash here, but she's going to have to deal.....He remains calm, but her tantrums are wearing on both of us.  

I need help dealing with them.  A few thoughts I have are these:

I help her get dressed while H takes care of DD2

We get her up earlier so she can wake up more before getting dressed.

We start a chart - she earns a star for every tantrum free morning and gets a small toy or book of her choice after three or four tantrum free mornings.  

Once she's in the car and on our way to DC, she's great.  It's just fifteen minutes of pure He*% each morning.  

We HAVE tried putting her to bed earlier, but she doesn't fall asleep until 8:30, no matter what.  She naps great at DC too, so I think her sleep schedule is alright.  She's also great at going to bed as long as she doesn't go too early.  

Any other ideas??

TIA

[Deleted User]

I know it sounds trite. But welcome to three year olds. They are moody little beasts. 

We just had to power through.  DS was similar. He would fight me about going to school and then would run into school all happy. 

Remain calm and don't react to tantrum. I even walk away from them.  Our Pedi's advice was make sure they can't hurt themselves then ignore the tantrum.

Did she switch rooms recently? She may also be reacting to a change. Give it time. I know that doesn't help much. 

dglvrk2

Thanks, everyone.  I'll see about an earlier wake up time.  We'll get a chart soon too.  I think she can get dressed by herself, especially if she has clothing that's pretty easy to put on.  We may even practice dressing the night before.

I'm not having the best of days.....started with the usual three year old tantrum, a traffic jam on the freeway and a difficult day at work. Reading that @PrivacyWanted's daughter tries to get away without undies every now and then put a smile on my face.  The funny things kids do.  Thanks!!

CarrieB.

I just thought this was part of being 3 and that it was an annoying phase that would eventually pass. But we don't have long screaming tantrums everyday. Just in general lots of whining and crying.

Leap08

I think waking her up a little earlier might work. My oldest daughter really needs a bit of time in the morning before I make her start moving. She is very grumpy and non-compliant if I rush her.
I also think the sticker chart might work. My girls respond really well to them. Maybe you could try the two in combination?

minirella

I have a 4 year old that is particular in what she wants to wear. She has an issue with restrictive clothing and she will get her mind set that she can only wear a certain dress or a certain pair of underwear. And no, I am not a parent that allows my child to wear dirty underwear. When we find a dress or underwear style that she will wear, I usually buy multiples and all colors/designs I can find.

There are some mornings where I have to tell her that I'm leaving and she will just have to stay home because nothing fits and I basically have to start putting things in the car. She will eventually find something and then she tattles on me to the preschool teacher about how mean I am. If I don't do that, she will go through all 35+ pairs of underwear before settling on a pair and by that time, I'm an hour or so late for work. 

I don't know if your daughter would understand that. I like the idea of trying to get her up earlier.  

ccam

I agree with trying to get her up a little earlier.  DS is only 2, but I find that when we rush him to get ready in the morning, he is more likely to throw a fit or be a huge grump.  But when we give him plenty of time to get himself up and slowly ready for the day, he's much better off. 

AZ123

How do you do the chart? You put stars the days they do what you want and then reward them how?

My 3 year old is getting up way too early and we'd like him to play in his room for a little bit to give us an extra 20 min. We know he can do it He can use the potty on his own and go back to his room until the bunny is awake but we have no reward system for him right now and I think it is making it more of a battle than it needs to be.