Rooming-in vs hospital nursery

Chcaggie1

One of the first tips my mom gave me after she found out I was pregnant was at the hospital get your rest while you can and let the baby sleep in the nursery. Honestly, I like that idea, hubby and I will be on our own when we get home. However, I definitely want to breast feed and I want to everything I can to be successful in that area. I'm curious what the norm is for most moms. How many keep their babies in the room with them vs the hospital nursery the first night or two after delivery?

HailsMom

I was pretty much certain I wanted to room in with my first. My water broke with her at 5am on Thursday and she was born at 9 on Friday. I was awake pretty much that whole time, so by the time night came Friday night I was so exhausted. I finally asked the nurses to take her to the nursery for a few hours so I could get some sleep. Yeah, that didn't last long, the mom guilt kicked in right away and I sent DH to go bring her back almost right away. He said the nurse hadn't even gotten back to the nursery with DD by the time he caught up with her.   This time I will play it by ear.

michelle142

Some hospitals don't even offer the nursery option anymore

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12437413/hospital-with-room-in-maternity-ward/p1 

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hannam01

DD slept with me the first night, but the second night was awful. She NEVER slept! I was so exhausted that I asked the nurse to take her for about an hour and a half before she needed to eat again. I pretty much sobbed the whole time because I thought I was a failure. This time, I'm either having DH stay with me to take her in the middle of the night, or using the nursery with no guilt. And limiting daytime visitors so that I can actually sleep during the day while the kid is asleep instead of having to entertain. 

Chcaggie1

@michelle142 thanks for sharing that link. no idea how I missed that post but anxious to read the responses. I have read in various articles that some hospitals are moving to no nursery. Although I am undecided I absolutely do not like not have a choice.  We are going on 3 hospital tours at the end of this month, so that question will absolutely be on my list!

mamabisme

With both of mine I have kept them with me most of the time but have no problem sending them to the nursery if I feel like I need a couple hours. Best to wait and see what feels right when you get there. At our hospital the nursery is just at the end of the hall so they are literally just steps away. If they need to nurse or I just decide I want baby back, they'd be back I under a minute.

MrsRoy07

My hospital is very pro-BFing, so I know they'll bring the baby when they're hungry- even if it's only been an hour. But to get to sleep that hour in between is priceless! I will send baby to the nursery, and they will bring him/her to me to breastfeed.

delaneykai

With DD, I didn't want her out of my sight.  I was BFing her, but even more so, I just couldn't imagine having her that far away from me that soon.  I had labored from 2 pm-12 am, then stayed up until almost 4 a.m. for the skin-to-skin time and the hospital paperwork afterwards, but I just couldn't bring myself to sleep that night.  Now, 2 nights later, once we were back home, I definitely ate up any nap time I could get to catch back up on energy, but I don't regret those tired first nights for anything and I plan to do it again.

thegoodpotato

Not an option.  Our hospital will not let the baby leave the room with anyone except for a family member with a matching hospital bracelet (both mom and dad get bracelets with matching ID numbers).  You're not even allowed to let a nurse leave with the baby unattended.

I much prefer it that way.  You might as well start working on your partnership with your DH (or partner) right away, and taking turns caring for the baby during the night.

RedGiant

With DS I was breastfeeding and I had him in the room the first night, and didn't get much sleep because babies are noisy! The second night I had them take him to the nursery and bring him back whenever he was hungry. I slept so much better. I'll play it by ear this time, but will not feel guilty at all sending him/her to the nursery if I need sleep. It's better for everyone if I'm rested and able to care for my baby.

Oem617

My hospital doesn't offer a nursery. DS was in the room, and with one of us (me or DH) at all times. Hospital policy.

jennjilljo

Our hospital is similar to @thegoodpotato‌'s. Matching arm bands that have to be matched between baby and parents but the baby can leave the room with nurses. The rule is it has to be 2 nurses one of which is your assigned shift nurse. The assigned nurse is required to introduce herself at the beginning of their shift and write their name on an accountability board so that if something does happen it all falls on them. There have been zero incidents under this system.

t8keepr03

I had planned on rooming in with my DD but after 36 hours of labor and no sleep I asked them to take her for a little bit to the nursery. My hospital will only let them stay in there for 2 to 3 hours before they bring them back to you. So that was perfect for me to get some good sleep. I only had her go in there once. I tried to breastfeed her. But whether your formula feed or breast feed the policy is only 2 to 3 hours at a time. I will formula feed this time but they won't feed the babies if mom and baby are healthy they have mom feed them every couple hours.

Edited: Sorry forgot to say it will totally depend on what labor is like if we send this one to the nursery.

amt0312

Oh man, I tried rooming in one night. It was a nightmare. F*** that shit. I'm doing nursery allllllllllllll the way. The nurses can bring LO to me when its time to feed.

winterbabe2015

Our hospital no longer has a nursery option, room - in only. That is a change since I had my daughter 4 years ago. I used the nursery with her without feeling any guilt :-). Mama needed to rest. I was at home within 24 hrs after both of my children were delivered. I expect this will be the same so hubby will be staying at the hospital for the night shift since we don't have nursery option.

CdnFarmGirl08

My hospital doesn't have the option of a nursery. They took him for an hour or two so I could get rest but that's it.

csjsmom

I didn't have a nursery option with either of mine. 2 different hospitals

natsgirl12

My hospital has a tiny area where they can take babies if necessary but they widely promote room-in. I definitely preferred room-in. We only spent one night in the hospital with DD. I definitely wanted her with me. Also, this may just be me but I'm super untrusting of people and am against giving my newborn (just my opinion for my own children...not a judgement) any formula at all (not a drop) unless there's a serious issue. I don't trust the nurses and worry that they may give my baby formula without me knowing. So no nursery for my baby.

lizzybean

Your options are too restricting. With DD I nursed her exclusively but they took her to the nursery for just 3 hours in between feedings so we could get some sleep. She had choked on residual birth canal goo a little while earlier and there was no way we were going to go to sleep with no one keeping an eye on her.

acpruchnik

I was advised by a nurse and my doc with DS to keep him in the room with me if I didn't want the nurses to put a bottle in his mouth in the middle of the night instead of coming to get me/bringing him to me to nurse him. They flat out told me that's what the night shift would do and since DS struggled to latch initially I didn't want to take any chances. I kept him in the room with me and I feel like I rested just fine other than the nurses waking me up every 2 hours to get my vitals and they woke him up to nurse. I was really fortunate that he was an easy baby until he was about 2 months old when he stopped latching and stopped sleeping through the night, though. I plan on keeping this little guy in my room as well, but I'm not so stressed about a bottle or pacifier this time. I'm just more comfortable with having the baby next to me and I don't want to be away from him at all lol

No shame in using the nursery if you're tired, though, and don't let anyone make you feel bad if you decide to use it. Your mom is right in the sense that already being exhausted when you get home and don't have a team of nurses to help you out is never ideal! It's a whole new world when you have to do things for yourself (even if your SO is there to help)!

WanderingA

The Birth Center does not have a nursery and the baby never leaves the room at all.  In fact, the baby doesn't even leave your chest for measurements or anything (unless medically necessary) for the first hour or two.  I would highly recommend keeping the baby in room.

The first night after they are born babies tend to be about as exhausted as mommy and they will generally sleep about the best that they will for the next year!  If you're breastfeeding you will probably be waking up after 3-4 hours to feed them so if you can keep them in room you don't have to move.  As @thegoodpotato said, it's nice to start forming that bond right away.  Your partner can care for the baby while you rest!

acpruchnik

hannam01 said:

DD slept with me the first night, but the second night was awful. She NEVER slept! I was so exhausted that I asked the nurse to take her for about an hour and a half before she needed to eat again. I pretty much sobbed the whole time because I thought I was a failure. This time, I'm either having DH stay with me to take her in the middle of the night, or using the nursery with no guilt. And limiting daytime visitors so that I can actually sleep during the day while the kid is asleep instead of having to entertain. 

I think the visitors were the hardest part about getting any rest! We had told everyone several times that they needed to call DH's phone to see if I was up for visitors and the only ones that actually did were one of my brothers (the others waited to see DS til we got home) and my parents. I had people in my room constantly for the first day and was so exhausted that I couldn't hold my head up! The one nurse that stayed by my side and got me through a lot of tears in general finally put a sign on my door that told everyone to go away and they stopped several people at the desk and told them I wasn't accepting visitors. She was a life saver! This time we're letting my parents come visit with DS the day little man is born and the next day we're letting the 3 sets of great grandparents come visit in shifts with a few hours in between so we can actually get some rest. We're not telling anyone but my parents when we go into labor and they'll know where I deliver to avoid a crowd again and no one else is being allowed to come to the house to visit for at least a week once we get home. I love that people get so excited about a new baby but I know I'm gonna be tired and I can't take care of BOTH of my boys if I can't function!

ckimberley14

I had the option to room-in or have my girls stay in the nursery, or a combo of both. I usually had the nurses bring them in when they needed to eat, as well as had them stay in the room each night. I would nap when the girls had to be in the nursery for routine procedures, etc. It was rough some nights because they would tag-team me on the feedings. I got no sleep at all those times until the nurse took them back for morning assessments.

maryxc1

Our hospital very much pushes rooming in. With DS, I went in to labor Monday afternoon and had him Tuesday evening, so by Tuesday night I hadn't slept any since Monday morning. I tried to sleep with him in the room but being a FTM, I was scared he was going to stop breathing or something so I couldn't sleep. I sent him to the nursery for 2 hours to get a little sleep. The next night, I sent him for 2 hours twice (total of four hours). The nurse was very mean about it, but I needed to get at least a little sleep. Even with that, over a four day time period I got a total of 8 hours of sleep. It was awful!

kbelly777

My experience with my first didn't go as planned. My plan was "no c-section, room in, short hospital stay". I ended up with an emergency c-section, baby in nursery (still breastfed though) and 3 days in the hospital. 

I was really weak from the surgery (loss of blood) and super nauseas and dizzy from all the meds. I couldn't get out of bed or hardly even sit up that first night. Luckily my hospital allows you to choose room-in if you are physically able / willing or nursery of you need the help or rest.

AF9211

Yea, I guess I'm a SS for this poll. I did not breastfeed my first, and she was sent to the nursery every night during our stay. This time, there is a small nursery for necessity, but otherwise baby stays with mom. So this baby will be rooming-in regardless if breastfed or formula fed. 

Beth.1212

I BFed my DS and generally kept him in the room, but on my last night I did send him to the nursery so that I could get a little extra rest. I think I'll do the same this time around. 

Allie429

With our DD-they didn't ask to take her but we had to ask if she could go. DH slept better than me whether she was in there or not. As soon as I would start to get really good sleep-the nurse would come in with her so I could feed her. It was nice having the option though. They asked about pacifers and bottles and when we said no to both-they listened. That was the best.

Chcaggie1

A few ppl have mentioned group maternity rooms (or public ward as the pp referred to it).  I have never heard of such a thing! I don't think they do that in Texas and I'm quite glad.  Every mama I've ever visited it the hospital always has her own (very large) room.

AngieAn

We only have private rooms at the hospital I'm giving birth at. You labour, deliver, and recoup all in the same room and baby never leaves your side. You are discharged after 24 also, is this the norm for anyone else?

Chcaggie1

@angiean I'm in Texas and all of my friends who I know that have had babies typically stay for about 48 hours in the hospital.  I don't know anyone who was discharged after just one night. I'm sure it happens here but I've never witnessed it.

kimmykaye

I did undecided. I know we'll have LO in the room with us, but undecided about BF. It's never worked out for me in the past. Never able to get a good supply and always had to supplement. The longest I have made it with my 3 DDs was 2 1/2 months before we went to just formula. Also, last time I got mastitis, which was excruciatingly painful and just really rough to go through. Ended up in ER with a fever of almost 103. I'm just not sure if I can handle the emotional failure again if it doesn't work out.

sunshine525

Both of my girls slept for almost the entire first 24 hours.