3 weeks in, teacher requests meeting.

finsup

Hey ya'll, its been a while since I've been here, its nice to see some friendly "faces", I sure could use your input.

Background:  ASD (PDD-NOS) First grader (6yo), mainstream class with accommodations in IEP, pull outs for OT and Social group.  He also gets private OT twice a week.  Academically on target or ahead, biggest challenge is writing.  Kinder was an amazing success with IEP implemented, teacher was dual certified in gen ed and sped.  He had an amazing Kinder year and really thrived in school academically and socially.

We are 3 weeks in to the school year and the teacher called me on Friday afternoon, I sensed a bit of panic, almost fear, in her voice.  Apparently kiddo had a bit of a meltdown in class that afternoon.  To the tune of screaming, refusing to work, stomping feet, crying and eventually laying on the floor.    We have not had this kind of meltdown in school (or at home) since he was 3.  I asked what the circumstances surrounding the meltdown were - she was trying to get him to do his writing during writer's workshop and he refused.  She pushed him too far and he broke down.  She eventually called in the resource teacher to diffuse the situation.

She told me "I know he CAN do it, but he WON'T do it".  She said this several times in the course of the 10 min conversation.  She also said "it would be very easy for me to overlook this but I'm trying to be proactive".   Apparently during 15 mins of writers workshop he will just sit there and twiddle with his pencil.  He does not do any actual writing.  She also said that he would be required to come up with his own poetry by the end of the year, and she doesn't see him being able to do that at all.

So she requested a meeting with me, the resource teacher and the OT to go over how to "motivate" him in writers workshop.  I asked if she had any experience working with special needs kids and she said she did, but that any other time she had a special needs kiddo in class there was an aide assigned to them.  This is her 3rd year teaching, although she is not a young teacher, so I would guess this is a second career for her.

I am not surprised in the least that he is struggling with writing - this is not new and I outlined that in my back to school letter as well as the "about me" handouts she asked parents to fill out.  He needs the maximum amount of assistance to stay on task when it comes to writing.  All of this is outlined in the IEP, in his past progress reports, report card etc.  I am surprised at the meltdown he experienced as that is not typical of his behavior AT ALL at this point, and leads me to think that she has not implemented his IEP accommodations in the classroom. (Proximity, frequent reminders/check ins/feedback, visual schedules,  visual writing guide, alternate instructions, increased time to complete task, specific paper for writing, plus some others)

At back to school night when we visited I said "I'm sure you've read his IEP, but let me know if you need a copy".  And she had the deer in headlights look that told me she had no idea what I was talking about.  I told her that she may need to reconsider the placement of his desk, that while it was near her which was good (and part of the IEP), it was also near the computer center which would probably be a serious distraction - but told her to try it and let me know how it worked out.

Meeting is tomorrow - I can pretty much guarantee at this point that none of the accommodations outlined in his IEP are being implemented and I intend for that to be my first question.  I also feel that the teacher is going to want to jump right to an aide for writing tasks, and while I wouldn't be against that idea, I feel as though other options should be tried first.  I also got the feeling that she seems to think this is a simple issue of motivation - as in he can do it but refuses and a behavior that needs managing...and I know that while motivation is big, that is not the only issue at play here and reducing it to that isn't a fair assessment.

My gut is also telling me that this teacher probably needs some in-service training as it relates to ASD kiddos and that her leaning on an aide in the past has absolved her of her requirement to work directly with these kids and that is not going to fly with me.

I had a similar issue last year with the PE teacher and as soon as the IEP was implemented during PE he did fine - no problems since.  I also try to make everything I want to happen "their" idea, so am getting my notes ready so that I can ask appropriate questions to lead them to where I want to go.  I don't expect this meeting to be confrontational, but the tone in the teachers voice on the phone definitely has be concerned.

SO, thoughts?  I am aligning my ducks for the meeting tomorrow and would love any experiences or words of wisdom.

TIA.

hopecounts

I think start with making sure the IEP is being properly implemented in the classroom, if not and she pushes an aide reference how the IEP worked well last year and it would be appropriate to trial those supports before moving on to an aide. 

Remember that you are part of the team and have to sign off on any changes to the IEP so be nice but if you are uncomfortable with a plan/suggestion just say so nicely. 

Teacher may be a bit overwhelmed/nervous and if your kiddo is general pretty good and functions pretty well may have ignored the IEP because he was doing fine without it  (which is bad but can be fixed) and yesterday threw her for a big loop. 

Or she may have implemented the IEP fully and he is still struggling and she doesn't know where to go next with him. 

I wouldn't be surprised if she sees him refusing to write as behavioral and in a way it is, it's hard for him so he struggles and also avoids. It's a bit of both so it may need a behavioral fix combined with accommodations to get/keep him on track. 

I would see what has/hasn't been done and proceed from there, I would want to avoid an aide unless it was 100% necessary but if reasonable alternatives are exhausted then it could be necessary.

thefuturemrskudla

Just want to say, you clearly are a very prepared and excellent advocate! Will you discuss adding teacher training? Do you know what that actually means, in practice?

finsup

thefuturemrskudla said:

Just want to say, you clearly are a very prepared and excellent advocate! Will you discuss adding teacher training? Do you know what that actually means, in practice?

Aw, thanks!  I'm trying my hardest that's for sure!

I would certainly like to mention it if the conversation leads me there, but no I have no clue what that would actually look like for the teacher.   And I definitely don't want the teacher to be offended that I'd bring it up.

MirandaHobbes

It really does sound like you've got your ducks in a row! My son sounds very similar (6 yo, pdd-nos, first grader with same amounts of pullouts). However, my son has a shared aide in the classroom the entire day. Writing (fine motor) is by far his biggest frustration. If pushed too far he will snap and need a break in the resource room. Unlike you, we did not have a great kindy year. He had an aide who was very cross and stubborn. She would bark orders at DS, and eventually get frustrated and provide way too much assistance just to get him through an assignment. They switched his aide mid-year to one who was much more positive and soft-spoken, but firm. If DS whined about the writing being too hard she'd just encourage him and remind him he'd have his reward (often a break) AFTER his work was done. The mantra became "first work then break." This same mantra was drilled into his first grade teacher and so far it has been going very smoothly. Maybe this type of strategy would be helpful? I've been noticing much better behavior and compliance out of DS when I continue to build up his confidence; when we did homework this weekend we did the easy math stuff first and I kept gushing how great he was and how he'd probably breeze through his writing homework- and while he inssited that I sit next to him while he completed it, he did all of his writing homework easily and quickly too.

Good luck!

 

finsup

First work then break, I am writing that down, thank you.  I do think that will be helpful and I've often used  similar if, then type statements at home and in his private therapy.

I also think defined time limit will help - as at home he's often said "it's too long, too much, too hard" and if he knows that he has to work for x mins before a break, then he might be more willing to do it.  The idea that it could go on 'forever' with no end in sight is simply too overwhelming.

Confidence is big here too - I think if he could find success in the classroom with writing he'd be more willing to try to do it.  I've found that to be the case at home with reading.  The teacher will need to dial down her expectations a bit I think to get him some confidence before pushing him further.

MirandaHobbes

finsup said:

First work then break, I am writing that down, thank you.  I do think that will be helpful and I've often used  similar if, then type statements at home and in his private therapy.

I also think defined time limit will help - as at home he's often said "it's too long, too much, too hard" and if he knows that he has to work for x mins before a break, then he might be more willing to do it.  The idea that it could go on 'forever' with no end in sight is simply too overwhelming. This is the single most important concept I've been able to grasp when trying to see difficult situations through DS's eyes. His therapist once gave me the example of washing dishes- imagine you're told to wash the dishes and no matter how many you did, the pile never got smaller and it seemed as though you'd never be done. Eventually you'd give up, because what's the point? I'm constantly reminding myself to just be more clear with him.

Confidence is big here too - I think if he could find success in the classroom with writing he'd be more willing to try to do it.  I've found that to be the case at home with reading.  The teacher will need to dial down her expectations a bit I think to get him some confidence before pushing him further. Yes. We have in our IEP that DS's mainstream teacher should practice selective avoidance. We went through a phase last year where he was making loud noises to get attention/get in trouble. It got worse everytime his aide tried to intervene. They finally figured out they had to ignore a little bad behavior in order to get consistent good behavior. The mainstream teacher also practiced preferential treatment too, like if he was sitting quietly and raising his hand nicely she would call on him first to boost his confidence and keep him engaged.

finsup

Auntie - Yes, all of the above.  :-)

I feel like because DS presents as higher functioning and can generally hold it together, that she hasn't given much thought or effort into accommodations.  I'm definitely assuming here, just a gut feeling that I'll find out more on tomorrow at the meeting.   For example, he is supposed to have a visual schedule posted on his locker around managing personal belongings.  This was not present on the first day of school.   He is also supposed to have a visual reminder of cool down strategies when he feels anxious or stressed - didn't see that either.  Which would lead me to guess that the rest of what we had put in place is probably not being done as well.   This and the fact that she seemed to jump right to an aide in our initial conversation makes me think she's not willing/capable to being creative around this.  I kind of feel like she's trying to stick my square kid into a round hole - and that's just not going to work.  Ever. 

He's not writing in writers workshop because writing is hard.  He has gone from 1%tile fine motor grasping/strength at age 3 to to 65%tile at age 6.  So a major improvement but it was a LOT of work and therapy to do it.  I think part of it is that its hard for him so he resists, its not a preferred task and the simple act coming up with something to write in the first place is a whole effort on its own.  And that has to do with rigidity/lack of creative type thinking....he tends to be more willing/do better when he's copying something rather than coming up with it on his own.  Or looking at a picture and coming up with a story based on the picture.  His drawing skills are very, very basic.  I like the mad libs approach and will take that suggestion for sure.

He has not been formally assessed for dysgraphia but I don't know that I would rule it out.  (he is up for eval's this winter so I will include that in my notes)  His Kinder teacher did say at one point to keep in the back of our minds some assitive technology in the future for writing, especially as speed demands are increased - but that we weren't there yet.  Maybe that's something I need to look at sooner.  Not sure.  I'm going to ask these questions to his private OT at our next appointment.

At our end of year meeting the kinder teacher told me that he HAS the thoughts in his head.  Getting onto the paper is the struggle.  She showed me a picture he drew that was a series of scribbles with some basic shapes and a few colors.  He had a whole story to go along with it, nobody else would get it, but he knew exactly what it was.

I think its probably a combination of things going on here - but I don't think its behavior only.  The inertia issue has been a problem but has been effectively managed in the past.  He definitely has a "perfect" mindset in that if he knows its not going to be done right then why bother. 

I guess I'm also peeved that he was pushed so far as to a complete meltdown - I know she needs to find his limit but he has plenty of anxiety/stress signals and is plenty vocal and I know, because I've seen it at home a thousand times.  It would have been obvious he was approaching his breaking point.

I suppose that if I show up to the meeting tomorrow and teacher can tell me how's she's implemented the current IEP and its not working - then we'll go from there.  But based on the deer in headlights look she showed me 3 weeks ago, i'm thinking we'll need to start there.

With the dysgraphia - did your DS use assitive technology in class ever?  What helped the most?

funchicken

Just wanted to say that's awesome improvement in the fine motor skills! My DD was in the 1st %tile at age four and now she's around the 50th %tile after two years of OT.

finsup

funchicken said:

Just wanted to say that's awesome improvement in the fine motor skills! My DD was in the 1st %tile at age four and now she's around the 50th %tile after two years of OT.

Thank you, I'm so proud of him.  Its been one hell of an uphill battle thats for sure. 

Congrats to your DD as well, getting that 1st%tile report is a killer, right? But now, years later seeing the improvement has been amazing. 

finsup

MirandaHobbes said:

finsup said:

First work then break, I am writing that down, thank you.  I do think that will be helpful and I've often used  similar if, then type statements at home and in his private therapy.

I also think defined time limit will help - as at home he's often said "it's too long, too much, too hard" and if he knows that he has to work for x mins before a break, then he might be more willing to do it.  The idea that it could go on 'forever' with no end in sight is simply too overwhelming. This is the single most important concept I've been able to grasp when trying to see difficult situations through DS's eyes. His therapist once gave me the example of washing dishes- imagine you're told to wash the dishes and no matter how many you did, the pile never got smaller and it seemed as though you'd never be done. Eventually you'd give up, because what's the point? I'm constantly reminding myself to just be more clear with him.

Yes!  I also like the analogy of doing push ups.  How about I told you to get down on the floor and do 200 pushups in 5 mins.  Next to impossible for most of us, right?  You'd resist.  stomp your feet.  refuse.  too hard.

But say I gave you, 2 hours to complete the task.  And told you that for every 10 pushups you did you could have a little break.  And that we could start off with a modified pushup on your knees or standing until you built up the stamina to do 200 on your toes.  Makes it a little more palatable.  I consider what DS is going through the same thing. 

funchicken

finsup said:

funchicken said:

Just wanted to say that's awesome improvement in the fine motor skills! My DD was in the 1st %tile at age four and now she's around the 50th %tile after two years of OT.

Thank you, I'm so proud of him.  Its been one hell of an uphill battle thats for sure. 

Congrats to your DD as well, getting that 1st%tile report is a killer, right? But now, years later seeing the improvement has been amazing. 

Yeah, it was a shock. We knew she was behind, but we didn't realize how behind because she was so good at compensating. 

It made me so happy when her teacher this year emailed to tell me that she thought DD's fine motor skills were on par with the average first grader.

finsup

thanks so much for your thoughtful and detailed response, a ton for me to think about here. 

Meeting today at 1, private OT appt tonight - so lots to discuss.  Will update later.  Thanks again.

finsup

So the meeting went pretty much as I expected.  The teacher is a little intimidated - she's never had a kiddo on an IEP in her classroom without an aide...this concerns me but she's getting a crash course I guess.  I felt like she thought I was going to be angry at her over the meltdown, I'm not, and I could see the relief on her face when I was friendly and open.

She also didn't say it freely, but definitely had not implemented all of the items in the IEP.  Since Friday's incident she moved his desk, got the visual schedule and cooldown charts in place, and spoke with the resource teacher to get some help.  We agreed that she will do this for a month and we'll check back in. And if in the meantime she feels we need an ARD we can certainly do that, but I don't think we will.

Other than writing, kid is a model student.  He's happy, engaged, participates, follows the rules of the classroom and seems to be doing okay socially.  Child WILL NOT write.  He will sit there for a 15 mins writers workshop and roll his pencil around on his desk the whole time.

I spoke with the private OT and she agrees that there is Dysgraphia at play here but I feel like she might be tapped out on ideas with him.  We know its not a grasping/hand strength issue based on his improvement there.  She's tried mutliple methods of motivation/rewards with temporary or little success.  Teacher showed me practice sheets where he filled letters on worksheets and those were all perfect.  The problem seems to come when he has to combine skills of sounding out words, making up a sentence AND writing it. 

When asking him why he doesn't write in school he says "I'm not good at writing.  Writing is too hard."  He definitely feels stress and anxiety over it and actually cried talking about it last night.  I know we need to push him over this hill.....I'm not quite sure where to go next with this, I may need some fresh eyes on the situation.

finsup

Ha!  I'm in Texas.  No idea - maybe just because she is a newer teacher so not as much experience yet?  Whatever it is, she's gonna figure it out fast I'll tell you that.

Hypotonia, yes. Mild but global.  We've also had crossing mid-line issues in the younger years that had been mostly resolved so perhaps that is rearing its head a bit too.  We've worked hard on core strength and a lot of the weak core issue we had seen before (leaning on table to support when cutting, for example) had mostly been resolved as well.  We may just have more work to do there. 

And yes, if he was copying he'd be able to do it fine. 

I'm going to look into Kidspiration thanks for that rec.  We'll soldier on, I suppose if this is my biggest hurdle at the moment we are doing okay. 

thanks again for your insights.