Surprise pregnancy and I need some ENCOURAGEMENT!!

laidbackbeck

This is my first time posting to a "community" so I'm a little nervous but I HAVE to talk to someone until my appointment on Tuesday. Here's my story:
I just turned 38 in August. My husband and I have two beautiful boys between us, ages 3 (ALMOST 4) and a 15 month old. We also have custody of his 10 year old daughter. We tried for 6 years to have children. We had a stillborn little girl in 2009, had my first son a year later and after fertility meds, gave birth to my baby last year. We had multiple miscarriages and two blighted ovums between the babies. Needless to say, it hasn't been easy to get what we have now! Both of my boys were over 9 pounds each and after my last baby, the doctor told me that my uterus had been stretched so thin he could see his glove through it. He didn't recommend any more pregnancies. Well....
About a month and a half ago, my husband and I decided to make an appt with my OBGYN to find out if we could have another baby or if he just needed to proceed with a vasectomy. I made the appt and it was set for 9/16. My husband and I had intercourse TWICE in the month of Aug and I never thought it would happen given our track record of fertility. I had the "feeling" and was scared to death. I took a test on my stillborn's birthday, 9/9, and BOOM. I'm pregnant. My appt to "discuss" getting pregnant is Tuesday. I don't know how to feel. Was this a gift from the good Lord and my daughter?? Am I in danger? What will people think about us having 4 kids? I'm just distraught can't don't know if I should be happy or what. I just need to vent. And I know it was stupid of me to think it couldn't happen but given our track record...

Someone talk to me. Give me some advice or words of encouragement. Please.

mandyreads

I know nothing about what you've been through (stretched uterus and all) but I definitely will keep you in my prayers. And I am currently pregnant with our 4th...do people actually say things about large families now? Oh dear lol! Best wishes this week and keep us posted.

laidbackbeck

Thank you. Well, when we "parade" my little circus through a restaurant I feel like we get plenty of looks so I can only imagine when we add a newborn into our clan! Thanks again and good luck to you too!

BabyBliss76

Congrats!! I always try to think what is meant to be will be. Which is not always easy, but with a few prayers it always seems to get me though.

With my 1st daughter who was not planned. I was told that I was going to have a miscarriage after my first ultrasound. The placenta was not attached all the way...there was a large space that was what looked to be "letting go" and soon the rest would follow is what I guess they thought. I really am not even sure what all they said that day, but it turned my life upside down. I just keep hearing miscarriage...after I just seen the little heart fluttering away. Before that Dr. appt I was so upset about being pregnant. I felt sick about how I had been feeling, about being so upset and now I just wanted my baby to live. After that day I prayed for my baby, for God to do what was best. I worried ALL the time. Would she make it...maybe there is something wrong with her...and that is why this is happening. It went on and on. She was born perfect and just turned 10 She really did change my world in every single way!

I am now pregnant with my 4th. I turn 38 in a few days. I have a V shaped uterus which can make having a baby hard...I have been told. It is the Drs. "job" to tell you all these things. So just try to remember that. It does not always mean things will end badly. We can be our own worst enemy that's for sure!!! Try and stay calm till your appt. I know it is not easy! Let us know how it goes. ((Hugs))

NeonNoon

Welcome and congrats.  We don't always understand the way nature works.  Good luck at your appointment!

MrsL2B

Congratulations! I hope your doctor appoointment goes well & that the OB is encouraging.

mdogan29

Welcome to our group and congrats!! I hope you get good news from OB! Definitely let us know how it goes!!

I honestly think that 3-4 kids is pretty common these days!  A lot of 'blended' families usually have more kids too. Seems like it's rare for people to just have 1 now, but our family has a wide range of # of kids. All of my cousins are in sets of 3 or 4.  My brother and I are the smallest set of kids and according to my dad, I was supposed to be an only child!

My closest 3 cousins have 4, 4, and 5 +1 they adopted!  My husbands siblings have 1, 2 and 4 and this is our first, but we've decided we'd like 2.  When you have more than 4, I think that's when it's considered getting large!

MsMacual

Welcome and congrats! 

snflowr14

Congratulations! Although you may be puzzled, it is such a gift to get pregnant.
Whether you WANT another child, whether you can invest your time and money into a 4th child, and if you concluded you did not want one what you feel is right to do are all completely up to you and your husband.
Your health is an extremely important factor. I would personally follow my doctor's advice very closely and maybe a get a second opinion on its safety.
As regards what other people think, I would not think a bit. It's your decision with your husband, and no one else's business. When I think of "too many kids" I am thinking like 9+, no birth control ever. And you know what, such families have their reasons, too. Who is anybody to judge?
I hope you get over the shock soon, get information, and make good decisions for you and for your family.
All the best!

topaz7777

Congratulations!  I think we all worry for a great many reasons, and though everyone's situation is very different, we all get to experience that 9 months of fear together.  Good luck!  We are all in it together here!

jcrising

Congratulations!  Definitely see this as a gift!  Just be faithful about your doctor appointments and do everything your OB says to protect you and your baby.  As for the "large" family -- who cares what anyone else thinks?  No one has the right to judge anyone else, and families are about love, so love your kids and show the world how much love you have in your life.  Maybe it will rub off on others!

lgsdesigner

I am someone who feels that every pregnancy is meant to be. So-- since it happened, it may have been in the cards for you to have 4 kiddos. And as far as worrying about what people will think? Who cares! Four kids is not really a ton. Now-- if you took after Octomom, I may side-eye you...otherwise...no. 

Good luck and keep us posted!

kneehighchaos

Congrats!

I am accidentally pregnant with my 6th. Yeah. And no, we're not crazy religious zealots or anything, just amazingly fertile, which I readily acknowledge is a huge blessing (or good luck, whatever you want to call it). 

It's only my 4th pregnancy -- I have two sets of fraternal twins (the last set was totally unplanned, the first was 50% planned) and one singleton. I find out next week how many babies I'm carrying. So the whole "will people judge us" thing is on my mind, too! Because they will. Ah, oh well.

I'm also worried about my worn-out uterus. Both sets of my twins were 38 weeks, and my singleton was 9 lbs, and I've had one c/s. After my c/s (4 years ago) I had to have a d & c to remove retained placenta. So I'm really, really hoping my body can keep things together after all of that.

Now I'm just waiting for the Duggar jokes to escalate... siiiiiigh! 

Wishing you a healthy pregnancy!