Why did I do this?!?

chelsea3383

I am so frustrated at myself for listening to his dad and letting LO sleep with us. I love that he feels comfortable and cozy enough to fall sleep with us. I am so mad at myself for keeping him in bed with us because of being tired and too lazy to run downstairs for every feeding. How can I transition him now? Is it damn near impossible? He will only sleep about 30 mins, if that, in his crib before waking up and flipping out. I read too much about cry it out method killing baby brain cells from high stress reactions and I don't want him to cry but he immediately does when he knows we are trying to leave him.

mommygrams0730

Have you tried letting him fuss for a little bit, just to see if he falls back asleep?

FWIW my son transitioned himself into the crib a few weeks ago. To be honest I felt like I got more sleep when he bed shared bc I didn't have to actually get up when he woke up for a feeding.

Where does he nap during the day? I think I'd start trying to nap him in his crib and then work up towards the crib. My son kept waking up around 3am and after his feed would be moving around and restless so that's when I started putting him in his crib.

You can always do a modified cry it out and go in and soothe him and then go back out of the room.

Sorry I don't have more ideas, but he won't be in your bed forever! Good luck!

fintin

The report from Harvard on babies who CIO was a paper (opinion based on other facts) not a study (facts). I put no stock into it. With that being said I sleep trained my DS in his big boy bed with the camping out method.

amt0312

Ok, CIO does NOT kill baby brain cells due to stress levels. In order for damage to occur due to high cortisol levels, there needs to be prolonged periods of high stress.  Prolonged as in weeks upon weeks and months and even years of high stress. 

Anyone can handle high stress for a few days. But rare is the person who can handle long term stress without significant damage. CIO should only take a few days, not weeks and months. You constantly being woken up for prolonged periods is more detrimental to your health (and your LO's health) than a few days of CIO.

That being said, you need to figure out what is best for you and your baby. Sleep training is only one option in fixing sleep problems. 

holly142

I highly recommend The Sleep Lady's Good Night Sleep Tight book!  It has gentler approaches than CIO to sleep training and addresses your issues.  It really helped us!  I no longer bring her to bed with us (which I sometimes miss but I love getting more sleep) or nurse her to sleep. 

somewierd_person

Fwiw we transitioned around five months, it was three weeks of waking just about every 45 mins to an hour. It sucked! It got better! We didn't do cio but we did get very strict about a bedtime routine/time. I know it's hard to make the switch both you and your lo. We were willing to deal with the rocking and shushing back to sleep because we didn't feel like cio was something we or he were ready for. We saw a light after three weeks when he stretched to an hour and half and it just got better over time. Now he can be put in his crib mostly down and we can pat and shush him and he's out. I was feeling like you, kicking myself for still swaddling and giving him a paci etc. Now we use a zipadee zip and he spits out the paci 95% of the time before he's even asleep. It was slow progress, and we still have two motn wakings but he wasn't sttn since 12 weeks anyway. His motn nursing is getting shorter and shorter and I'm almost ready to drop one. You can do it!

chelsea3383

I left out a little bit of information that's probably not helping at all. He has just gotten over a cold and he is weaning off breastfeeding for the past four weeks. He's fine with a bottle but he liked the milk on immediate demand. Waiting for a bottle to be prepared is two mins too long for him. I used to be able to just feed him in bed and he was back asleep in less than ten mins. If he wakes up in his crib, he completely wakes himself up. Standing up in the crib banging on the side in full meltdown fashion. On a plus side he did take a two hour nap in the crib yesterday. This is attributed to his dad laying him down. If I do the exact same thing, he feels like he is falling because I have to reach so far in- short people problems...
It also isn't helping that his dad and I have completely different routines that LO helped us create. He falls asleep with dad completely different than he will for me. Punk. We will figure him out. Thanks for the suggestions! I'm going to find that book now @holly142‌

MrsW062610

I tried the No Cry Sleep Solution first - tried that for like 6 weeks with no change whatsoever (up multiple times every night in her crib, wanting the paci back, rocked to sleep, rocked back to sleep, etc). We eventually tried the graduated/interval checks version of CIO....and worked like a charm. I knew my LO was too stubborn to go for the gentler approaches...she is very strong willed.

First night she cried 30 min, 2nd night 15 min, and 3rd night 2 min. Then teething came along and we had to throw that out the window for now. But when she is feeling fine, she sleeps all night, no problem. I was nervous about CIO and it certainly is not for everyone. What I kept in mind is that I don't want to be rocking a 2 year old to bed. Babies need to learn to put themselves to sleep. But decide what is best for your family.