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This post is the last thing I wanted...

NicoleHenschenNicoleHenschen member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
What do you do when the heart beat is there no longer ? The baby doesn't look like it should. Do you act tough or curl up in a ball? After the Doppler did not pick up our babies heart beat I balled as the nurse still had to finish the ultra sound. Once I was able to go into the bathroom I crouched down on the floor and there I let it all out. How ? Why? My husband came in and helped me get up and get my clothes put back on. Just a few weeks ago I had heard the heart beat and now nothing. We waiting for the doctor and talked with him and decided on a DNC. The last thing I wanted was to string this all out and have to watch my body get rid of our baby. We left the hospital to return in the morning. I don't remember the car ride home but I do remember getting home and just screaming! Why me?!? Can I have a break?! That night the last thing I wanted to do was sleep even though our baby was not alive I still have her in me and tomorrow she was going to be taken away. I didn't sleep one bit that night. I cleaned did laundry and make some muffins for the people coming with me to my DNC. While on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor I wouldn't get to far before I would bust out in tears. Worst night ever. We went in the next morning for the procedure. I was surrounded by the best people in the world. I didnt even cry until they put me on the table right before I was out. The procedure didn't take long and soon after I was headed home. My stomach was flat again and my heart was empty. This is it. For the last three months I was thrilled to finally be pregnant with a "healthy baby" or so we thought. Weeks went by and the doctor called with the results. That's when I found out our little baby was a girl with only 45 chromosomes, the leading cause in miscarriages.. She was suppose to be in my arms.. Now God has her in his. So here I am a month later trying to move on... I get reminded daily from emails and weekly from mail that I should be pregnant right now. That was not Gods plan though.
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Re: This post is the last thing I wanted...

  • KingLEDKingLED member
    I'm sorry for your loss. 
    Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
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  • MamaEluaMamaElua member
    I'm so very sorry for your loss.
    DD 6/14 // Angel baby 8/15 // Baby #2 EDD 6/17/15!!!
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  • ctk181ctk181 member
    I'm so very sorry for your loss and heartbreak. I can relate to so many of the things in your post. Please feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.
    Married: 4/28/12
    BFP: 7/2/14 ;  1st US 7/21/14 Baby measuring 7w5d, HB of 138;  Discovered MMC 8/18/14 at 11w2d, baby measuring 8w5d, no hb ; 8/19/14 D&C
    image

    TTCAL December siggy challenge - Autocorrect Fails

    image

    | <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Tracker</My Chart

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  • negritosmaminegritosmami member
    So sorry for your loss..we've all been there...and I hate for anyone else to go thru it!! Much peace to you during this difficult time

    ~TTC #1 Since 3/2014
    ~BFP #1 6/2014      EDD 2/11/15
    ~MMC 7/31/14 @12weeks ~D&C /2/2014  

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  • purduepat2004purduepat2004 member
    I'm sorry for your loss. I have gone through this as well. If you would like to message me with any questions, I can try and help. My D&C was about four weeks ago.
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  • jessicabradley01jessicabradley01 member
    I am so sorry for your loss.
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  • NicoleHenschenNicoleHenschen member
    Thanks everyone..
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  • greenie333greenie333 member
    Thanks for your post. I am so sorry for your loss! I had my US yesterday and no heartbeat and 2 weeks behind my dates. I am waiting for my D&C after a repeat ultrasound next week. I have done nothing but cry for the last 24 hours and can totally relate to where you are right now. I hope it gets easier for us both, soon.
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • ctk181ctk181 member
    @negreen1 I'm so sorry for your loss. Bigs hugs to you. The sting does start to subside with time. Hang in there.
    Married: 4/28/12
    BFP: 7/2/14 ;  1st US 7/21/14 Baby measuring 7w5d, HB of 138;  Discovered MMC 8/18/14 at 11w2d, baby measuring 8w5d, no hb ; 8/19/14 D&C
    image

    TTCAL December siggy challenge - Autocorrect Fails

    image

    | <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Tracker</My Chart

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  • salsa_wifeysalsa_wifey member
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  (((hugs)))

    image 

    | <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Tracker</a>[url=http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/43ff7d]
    [img]http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ticker/43ff7d/ttc.png[/img]
    [/    RA with Sjogren's Syndrome. Risk of heart block in newborn. Age: DH and I are both 38.
    BFP #1: 11/25/2007, EDD 7/28/2008 - Missed m/c (blighted ovum) 12/6/2007 6w3d, D&C 1/3/2008.
    BFP #2: 4/2008 - Natural m/c at 6w.
    Met with RE in 5/2008 full cycle analysis and SA normal. Not considered high risk for blood clots but prescribed 1 baby aspirin a day precautionary during TTC and Progesterone suppositories during 1st trimester of pregnancy.
    BFP #3: 10/17/2008. EDD 6/23/2009,  Third time's the charm! Healthy baby boy born 6/27/2009 via emergency c-section.
    BFP #4: 6/14/2011. Healthy baby boy born 2/16/2012 via elective c-section.
    BFP #5: 1/15/2014. EDD 9/22/2014.     2/17/14:.We have a BABY!!! Heart rate 167 and measuring on time. 3/10/14 u/s #2 baby measuring perfectly at 12 weeks at heart rate of 166. NT u/s was normal. Maternit21 blood draw on 3/5/14. Results back on 3/19 - Normal.  It's a BOY!!!  4/10/14 at 16 weeks, 3 days discovered baby's heart stopped at 15 weeks, 6 days. D&C 4/11/14.  Pathology results were all normal.  New information on 8/11/14 - blood test revealed 1/3 of babys blood was in mine caused, most likely, by a tear in the placenta from extreme coughing.  Doctor believes this to be the cause of death.  Repeat D&C and Hysteroscopy scheduled for 8/19/14.  My Chart

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  • thiscoffeechickthiscoffeechick member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Do whatever you need to to nurture your rightfully broken heart. Sending love.
    This signature is all for YOU. I'm on mobile and can't see crap.
    MMC EDD: 1/5/2015  D&C: 5/31/14
    MC    EDD: 4/21/15 Lost: 8/24/14
    BFP for my Rainbow!! 11/6/14
    EDD: 7/20/15

    image




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  • Puglife83Puglife83 member
    Its very brave when women talk about their experiences and emotions. I'm very sorry for your loss.

    Me: 31 DH:28

    BFP: July 6 2014. Ectopic discovered at 7 weeks. TTC since February 2014





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  • FigureSkater8FigureSkater8 member
    I'm so sorry.  You are brave and strong.  Don't give up! 

      Me:36, DH:37

    DS born 11/2012

    BFP 7/26/14, Missed M/C at 8 weeks, discovered at 10 wks, 6 days, D&C 9/22/14, Dx: Partial molar pregnancy

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  • Pennilyn NovusPennilyn Novus member
    edited September 2014
    I'm so sorry, Nicole.  I think how you've been grieving is very healthy. 



    AnniversaryBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • centralperkcentralperk member
    I am so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself.
    image
    BFP #1 6.9.12 EDD 2.16.13 Ended in emergency surgery due to an ectopic 6.23.13
    BFP #2 9.6.13  Rainbow born 5.22.13
    BFP# 3 8.28.14 EDD 5.1.15  2nd u/s revealed Twins   m/c 9.21.14 
    BFP # 4 11.27.14 EDD 8.5.15  1 perfect bean @ 6 weeks


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  • KristinNPKristinNP member
    So sorry for your loss.  
    ___________________________________________________________________________
    Me:  30  DH:  35
    Together 13 years, married January 2013.
    Stopped the pill February 2013.
    BFP:  April 5, 2013 m/c #1 @ 4 weeks
    BFP:  May 1, 2013, twins hbs seen @ 6.5 weeks, mmc #2 @ 8 weeks, D&E July 2, 2013.  
    BFP:  January 10, 2014 m/c #3 @ 5 weeks.
    BFP:  August 11, 2014, 400mg progesterone suppositories started immediately.  HB seen @ 6 weeks. mmc #4 at 7 weeks, D&E September 27, 2014.
    RE Referral:  January 2015. 
    image
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  • mystiandcaseymystiandcasey member
    I'm so sorry :( today my dr called and said to expect to miscarry -empty sac last week and levels are dropping. I was walking down the hallway at my job trying to make it to my office but the sobs came out before I could make it. Surrounded by new coworkers I hardly know and no friends here where I just moved, it is SO hard :( I'm so sorry :( I will probably have a d&c soon too.
    image Visit The Nest!
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