A mantra for those who are temporarily TTA

thiscoffeechick

Greetings Ladies. My DH and I have been benched until 2 cycles have passed since my CP in late August (which happened 2 months after a D&C for a blighted ovum). The waiting has been killing me. I was feeling very depressed, sitting around waiting for time to pass and using condoms when all I want in the world is a baby.
But I have a mantra now that has been helping me immensely:
"I AM being pro-active because I am becoming more healthy. Each day that I take my pre-natals and live with gratitude, I am strengthening my uterus and making it ready for the baby who will grow here. Each day is progress, each day is strength, and each day is a new opportunity to make this vessel a safe place for my child"
My heart goes out to each woman who is in any stage of TTGPAL but I wanted to share this piece of hope for any ladies who are TTA who plan to try again. These are not wasted days. We are growing stronger.
((((Hugs to all)))))

PinkCamino

I sat on the bench for 18 months for medical reasons. Time stood still and honestly ladies complaining about having to wait 2 cycles makes my eyes roll.


|)

thiscoffeechick

@pinkcamino and @wickedsugar I'm sorry you don't think my pain is severe enough for you to be supportive.
The mantra I posted won't work for everyone I just found it helpful in my journey and thought there may be others who could relate to it.
I didn't mean to offend anyone and I'm truly sorry for anyone who experiences a loss or is forced to wait.
I have been TTC a healthy baby for over a year and I truly thought this board was for women who could be a little more compassionate as we've all suffered loss. Maybe I was wrong, or maybe the negative people who've responded don't represent the truly supportive culture of this board.
Hopefully what I've shared helps someone, if not I'd ask you to save your eyerolls and your "I have it worse than you"... Those sentiments serve no purpose other than to make someone who was trying to do something positive feel put down and judged.
Good luck to all.

PinkCamino

lauraneedscoffee said:

@pinkcamino and @wickedsugar I'm sorry you don't think my pain is severe enough for you to be supportive.
The mantra I posted won't work for everyone I just found it helpful in my journey and thought there may be others who could relate to it.
I didn't mean to offend anyone and I'm truly sorry for anyone who experiences a loss or is forced to wait.
I have been TTC a healthy baby for over a year and I truly thought this board was for women who could be a little more compassionate as we've all suffered loss. Maybe I was wrong, or maybe the negative people who've responded don't represent the truly supportive culture of this board.
Hopefully what I've shared helps someone, if not I'd ask you to save your eyerolls and your "I have it worse than you"... Those sentiments serve no purpose other than to make someone who was trying to do something positive feel put down and judged.
Good luck to all.

GBCB???

thiscoffeechick

wickedsugar said:

lauraneedscoffee said:

@pinkcamino and @wickedsugar I'm sorry you don't think my pain is severe enough for you to be supportive.
The mantra I posted won't work for everyone I just found it helpful in my journey and thought there may be others who could relate to it.
I didn't mean to offend anyone and I'm truly sorry for anyone who experiences a loss or is forced to wait.
I have been TTC a healthy baby for over a year and I truly thought this board was for women who could be a little more compassionate as we've all suffered loss. Maybe I was wrong, or maybe the negative people who've responded don't represent the truly supportive culture of this board.
Hopefully what I've shared helps someone, if not I'd ask you to save your eyerolls and your "I have it worse than you"... Those sentiments serve no purpose other than to make someone who was trying to do something positive feel put down and judged.
Good luck to all.

For real ?? Don't even go there... 

__________________________
Don't go where? What did I say that was inaccurate?

PinkCamino

lauraneedscoffee said:

wickedsugar said:

lauraneedscoffee said:

@pinkcamino and @wickedsugar I'm sorry you don't think my pain is severe enough for you to be supportive.
The mantra I posted won't work for everyone I just found it helpful in my journey and thought there may be others who could relate to it.
I didn't mean to offend anyone and I'm truly sorry for anyone who experiences a loss or is forced to wait.
I have been TTC a healthy baby for over a year and I truly thought this board was for women who could be a little more compassionate as we've all suffered loss. Maybe I was wrong, or maybe the negative people who've responded don't represent the truly supportive culture of this board.
Hopefully what I've shared helps someone, if not I'd ask you to save your eyerolls and your "I have it worse than you"... Those sentiments serve no purpose other than to make someone who was trying to do something positive feel put down and judged.
Good luck to all.

For real ?? Don't even go there... 

__________________________
Don't go where? What did I say that was inaccurate?



Well let's start with the fact that you completely flipped your shit and accused me and wicked of things that are not true. Nobody told you their situation was worse than yours and to be honest this tta mantra is a bunch of bullshit to me. Taking prenatals and preparing my vessel (hilarious btw) did nothing for me- surgery is what fixed me. So although your mantra might make you feel better it can be perceived as insensitive here.

Your OP and follow up are passive aggressive and disrespectful to the ladies who are here and TTA for way longer than 2 cycles.

thiscoffeechick

@wickedsugar‌
Uh... How was I playing the pain Okympics? You mean when I have my background in my opening? If you took that as "here's my background and I have it worse than you" it sounds like you're projecting a lot. It was just background, no more, no less.
And I don't understand what was bullshit about it but... Maybe you're an angry person and you're taking it out on others. I am truly sorry for you loss and the fact that you have ever been benched. That sucks. I'm sorry that my mantra doesn't work for you.
Again, I really don't understand your anger. I was trying to write something positive and helpful. If it triggered you, I'm sorry for that too, but I still don't think my original post was offensive at all.

thiscoffeechick

@PinkCamino‌
It's not a GBCB at all. I'm not going to quit using these boards because two women were rude to me for no reason. I still believe that you are in the minority and that most of the women who read this either thought, "gee, that doesn't apply to me" or "I never thought about it that way, that's helpful" It sounds like you read it and thought "her losses and waiting hurt her less than mine so I'll be rude"
Whatever your reasons are, no, I'm not leaving. I think there are a lot of loving and supportive women here, two of you just happen to not fall into that category.

PinkCamino

lauraneedscoffee said:

@PinkCamino‌
It's not a GBCB at all. I'm not going to quit using these boards because two women were rude to me for no reason. I still believe that you are in the minority and that most of the women who read this either thought, "gee, that doesn't apply to me" or "I never thought about it that way, that's helpful" It sounds like you read it and thought "her losses and waiting hurt her less than mine so I'll be rude"
Whatever your reasons are, no, I'm not leaving. I think there are a lot of loving and supportive women here, two of you just happen to not fall into that category.

Clearly comprehension isn't your strong suite. You may also want to work on this bad habit you have of assuming and inferring what people think and say.

thiscoffeechick

@wickedsugar I don't know where I said you were never supportive to anyone on this board I said you weren't supportive to me. I am sorry you are childless by choice. You seem angry to me and it's just my perception. I really don't see what you are so offended about. It was a mantra. If it doesn't work for you then don't use it but rolling your eyes is rude. You were trying to be rude. And it's still not clear why.

thiscoffeechick

I have been TTC for over a year, had 2 miscarriages and have been benched. In no way did I mean to offend anyone who has even TTC for longer, had more heartbreaking miscarriages or been benched longer. The point of my post was not to complain either. The point was to say I was in pain but this helped. I never said the mantra would help everyone TTA or that pre-natals would do the job over surgery.
I never meant to offend anyone. If it did I'm sorry. I think it's pretty clear that my post was meant to be positive. If your reaction was to be rude to a post that said "I'm in pain but this helped, maybe it can help someone else", well I believe that says more about you than it does about me.

thiscoffeechick

No problem. Just let me know when my situation has gotten so bad that I'm entitled to my depression.

LittleMrsW

Both PC and Wicked are a HUGE part of this board and have given support to so many women. OP you just need to stop before you continue digging a deeper hole.

PinkCamino

@wickedsugar‌ @ktlovess‌

Big Hugs ladies. Sometimes it's not worth arguing with a brick wall.

Too bad we're not closer together, I'd make margaritas and we could wash trashy t.v together.

PinkCamino

LittleMrsW said:

Both PC and Wicked are a HUGE part of this board and have given support to so many women. OP you just need to stop before you continue digging a deeper hole.

:x

blackbird818

I'm adding my eyeroll in too 8-| bc i don't think there's any use in arguing with the brickwall at this point

Big (((hugs))) @ktlovess‌ @PinkCamino‌ @wickedsugar :-*

blackbird818

(((Hugs))) my friend @HoldingOutHope‌

LittleMrsW

((Hugs)) ladies!

buggirl72

lauraneedscoffee said:

@PinkCamino‌ It's not a GBCB at all. I'm not going to quit using these boards because two women were rude to me for no reason. I still believe that you are in the minority and that most of the women who read this either thought, "gee, that doesn't apply to me" or "I never thought about it that way, that's helpful" It sounds like you read it and thought "her losses and waiting hurt her less than mine so I'll be rude" Whatever your reasons are, no, I'm not leaving. I think there are a lot of loving and supportive women here, two of you just happen to not fall into that category.

You are so in left field on that.

No body was downgrading your pain. Nobody was saying that your loss hurt less than hers or that your waiting hurts less. They were pointing out that what you wrote was rather naive and probably painful to the multitude of women on this board who have been TTA for much longer than what you are facing.

Yes, right now two months seems like a life time to you. Yes, using condoms and avoiding sucks. Your mantra, while helpful to you, demonstrates how you really don't participate in this board and that you absolutely do not "get it". No body was belittling your pain. Your comment about strengthening your uterus for the baby that will grow there is just so P&R and so naive it is painful.

You are an active member of TTGP. Are you telling me that you don't roll your eyes at people who come on there and bemoan trying for two months with no success? You have zero idea about the history of the ladies that you are slamming. No one is playing the pain olympics with you. We just have been here longer, took the time to intro and get to know people on this board, and we make an attempt not to be a complete asshat to each other.

I've read your other posts on this board. You really pick and choose where you participate (FFFC, throat punch, random check-ins). It is no wonder you do not understand the heart of this board. Take the time to get to know the ladies on here and how this board works.

Lurk, lurk, lurk.

PinkCamino

I couldn't help myself.



A rainbow VESSEL.

PinkCamino

the vessel of all vessels.

PinkCamino

furrypaws said:

O. M. G. Wtf issssss that!!!??? :-j

It's a uterus-mobile.

You never know when the uterus is watching