How realistic is this childcare set up?

sasky

I'm going back to work when the babies are 5 months. We are still trying to figure out childcare. We have options, it's more about keeping costs down.

DH and I both work from home. Our teams are virtual so we have quite a few calls during the week, sometimes 3-4 a day. Some are flexible, some are standing.

DH has suggested that we send one twin to daycare each day, keep the other one at home, and tag-team on the childcare in between getting our work done.

We did something similar with our first, but it was one or two days a week, and when he was younger (12 weeks).

DH is confident it will work, I'm not. Especially when it's every day. I just asked him to watch one baby for 20 minutes while I pump and he said he was too busy. That's just one example, he does help out a lot. It just made me pause.

Think we could manage?

PinkinProvence

Honestly, I don't really think this is a sustainable plan.  You would still be doing all the work of getting one baby out of the house just to have another baby waiting home for you to take care of.

I also have hesitations of splitting my babies up too much.  Of course, they get plenty of independent time and I will take one shopping while DH stays with the other one, etc., but I would feel guilty keeping them apart for the entire day.  They honestly look for each other.

Rynleigh

That sounds ridiculous, to me. In fact, I think sending one and keeping the other home is just going to create an unrealistic, unreasonable, and warped sense of reality for you guys, making it feel even more stressful during the hours that both of them are home together and need to be cared for. This isn't a situation where one child is older, therefore more independent... these are two children who are equal in needs and dependency. All or nothing, IMO. You are either finding childcare for both or neither. You may be able to find a local SAHM who is looking for a way to earn some extra income without having to pay for her own childcare, which could save you some money - do you have a social or religious community where you have other parents you trust whom you could ask? 

MommyWannaB10

I work from home myself and there is no way I could get what needed to be done for work and take care of a baby. I don't think it would even be fair to the child. How would you play, do activities, etc? IMO it's unrealistic. I know child are is expensive, I've got 3 in FT care, but it's best for them & me, plus I don't want to split my girls up even though they are still young.

minirella

Another twin mom I know IRL (she has a 3 year old and the twins are 1.5 years old) has an arrangement with an in-home daycare provider where she pays for 2 children full-time and then her parents keep the odd-child out. The childcare provider doesn't care which children come, so it is not always the same two that go. I guarantee you aren't going to find that in a center but maybe you could find an in-home provider that is willing to work things out differently.

RayRay007

I wouldn't want to split my twins up that much and I don't think it's going to work out at home like you think. One of you will end up taking care of the kid more than the other, rescheduling calls more than the other, etc. and it will probably cause resentment. I mean, DH tries to do me a favour and tells me to go take a nap and he can't even keep our 3 y.o. out of my room for 5 minutes.

carrotcake06

It sounds like a hassle and like you'll never be able to actually focus on anyone/thing.

Our oldest is in FT preschool. My family watches the twins 4x a week (we pay them). The 5th day, Friday, H and I alternate staying home w them. I take a half day off and work from home the equivalent of 4hrs, so I work while they nap. It's hard, but I only do it twice a month and I do enjoy the extra time w them.

Also as they get older, having two instead of one really isn't that much additional work. They start to play w one another and keep each other occupied more than my singleton ever did by himself.

zombiemommy

Aside from the fact that I imagine tag-teaming on the kid while both trying to work would cause all kinds of marital strife that a couple with infant twins just doesn't need, I am very anti the idea of splitting them up so early. My boys are 22 months and are inseparable. I wouldn't ever think of putting them in separate day cares or even separate rooms at a daycare. There will be plenty of time for that later when they feel more safe and independent. I've heard a fair amount about how twins, at least early on, have higher stress level when they're away from their twin. I think it's almost bizarre to split them up at 5 months, honestly. I'd say it's way better to pay someone to be a "mother's helper" type of person in the house. Since you're both home and could help, you could potentially get away with paying them less than you would a regular twin nanny.

LittleLady77

I wouldn't try it or be comfortable with splitting them up that much.

BeesKnees181

We are in the middle of talking about our next step for childcare.  I work and the girls come with me when I am in the office.  I am lucky, I love having them close all day.  BUT...it is very hard to get things done.  My work suffers; I work saturdays and some nights, as a result.  I also cry a lot and feel insanely guilty that I am not doing enough...as a professional or as a mom.  Ugh.  When I travel for work, everyone comes with, hubby takes off from his job and takes care of both babies while I am at work.  So far we are making this work.  I am not ready to be away from them.  We have recently started talking about bringing in a nanny for a few hours during the day to help me so that I can focus 100% on work.  Good luck.

BeesKnees181

P.S.  I work from home one day a week.  The girls are 4 months.  I like having the comforts of home for the girls - they seem to nap better on these days.  It goes in waves...we have our good days and bad days.  Some days I get enough work done to feel good about it...and other days I don't.  I think the girls entertain eachother more now...I wouldn't want to separarte them.  Seems like them playing with each other is one of the many twin perks.

oughtonk

I wouldn't split up my twins. They look for each other already and are a source of comfort to each other.  I also know that I would not be able to work from home and take care of one or both of them.  I also think trying to get one to day care and keeping one at home is going to cause more work than having them both in day care.  IMO I don't think having two is much different than having 1 when it comes to leaving the house, the only difference is it takes a little bit longer to buckle in the second and put them in the car and double up the bottles and things in the diaper bag.

I work from home 2-3 times a week but our Nanny (my mom) will be staying upstairs with the twins while I'm in the office in the basement working

CNYBride05

I didn't read the rest of the responses, so sorry if I'm repeating. I think that's a bad plan. Get a nanny if you want them home or find a daycare center or in-home if you need them out of the house.

sasky

I appreciate the reality check, ladies. I'm glad my reservations are warranted, but DH is not going to be thrilled. We'll be hunting for other ways to budget for childcare. Damn this HCOL area!

greks84

I'm a teacher in northern va and day care up here is atrociously expensive so I feel your pain. I would go back to work if I was just having one baby. But with two, definitely not. I will definitely be taking a year off, maybe even two. I'm guaranteed a job at my school after a year leave of absence and a job in the county after 2 years off. I just can't justify working to make $50k but spending $38k on day care. .