@on42 I just read your post on TTC>35. I'm sorry about your latest struggles. You're so close! Please hang in there.
Please don't jump the gun. Maybe things won't be as bad as you imagine them once the doctor has had a look. Once you know for sure, you'll know what the treatment entails and how much or little you'll be available to your child and can make plans for alternative care if necessary. If you can't be available in the early days, it doesn't mean that you'll forever wreck your relationship with your baby either.
Even if you haven't been active here, you are very welcome to use the board for support. That's what we are all here for.
I'm very glad to hear that the baby is doing well.