Anyone else think Facebook = easy affairs?

gibs

The post below reminded me of a conversation I just had with some friends. Doesn't Facebook (and other sites like it) make it just too simple to get back in touch with people from your past and start up something if here's anything imperfect in your life, even if you weren't even at all looking to "stray"?

MrsSledge

My DH does, so I don't have any of those sites. 

ElizabethD

If there is a reason you're going to stray, you don't need Facebook!  A bad marriage is a bad marriage.  Most hookups are with coworkers since they're a daily presence and easy.  Just because you find long lost friends doesn't mean they are in town, aren't happily married, gay, or would never consider doing anything with you.

Seems like uber paranoia to me

AND the connections you can make with old friends (same sex, nonsexual) far outweigh those few people who would abuse their marital trust by having affairs with old friends.

mrsterry

I don't think so.  I think email and instant messaging are the easier facilitators if any.  I also have both a myspace and a facebook, as well as a page on my college's alumni site (basically a MS/FB for the college).

jessicaclare

No. If people want to stray, they will stray, even if they don't have facebook/myspace. If they don't want to stray, they won't. I think its all to easy to be paranoid about it, or to use it as an excuse.

AngelaSue

I don't think so. But then again I can't see myself using FB for any of that. I use it to reconnect w/ old friends.

Littlejen22

It was my post below.  And yeah, I agree.  If I talked to anyone that I dated I would tell my DH...and the ex I mentioned I dated 12 years ago and he has had 2 (possibly 3) DUIs so even if I was looking to stray (which I am so not) I would not go that route.  But I am curious to see his page as well as a few of his friends, lol.  It's almost like looking at character that you know from a show, not really my life anymore.  But, if you wanted to cheat it would be easier I would think.

HasteTheDay

No, I don't think anyone can really blame facebook or any other site for an affair. Just like you can't blame a bar or club or office cubicle. It's all about what you do there and whether you're a cheater or not.?

shouldbeworkin

Sure, it could happen.  Do I worry about it in my personal life?  No.  If my DH wanted to cheat, he'd have ample opportunities.  He doesn't need Facebook to make it happen.

NikkiBenzo

If you are going to cheat, you will find a way whether it's Facebook or the grocery store. Reconnecting with old friends via Facebook makes it easier to talk about old times, but with that also reminds you of why you are NOT with that person! LOL!

pokeyswife

jessicaclare:

No. If people want to stray, they will stray, even if they don't have facebook/myspace. If they don't want to stray, they won't. I think its all to easy to be paranoid about it, or to use it as an excuse.

I agree. 

emiliemadison

Not really...I mean, if someone is going to cheat, facebook almost seems "harder". Think about it. Wouldn't it just be easier to cheat with someone you were already in contact with and saw on any sort of regular basis? Sure, you can reconnect on facebook but that seems like a lot of work compaired to just boinking with the person a few cubes down. If your going to stray, you'll do it with or without facebook.

ilovemygirls

Oh heck yes.  I JUST had a friend get involved with an ex-boyfriend & cheat on her DH.  I was L.I.V.I.D. when I found out what was going on.  She had told me awhile back that she was feeling some discontent in her marriage and had heard from this guy & I basically told her that is a slippery slope & not to go down it.  She never talked to be about it again, but apparently she had other friends who felt differently & covered up for her.  Her DH is the greatest guy & I'm heartbroken for him.  I don't really know what's going on with them right  now- except for that she still seems to be on facebook all the time.  I'm thinking if she really wanted to save her marriage, she would take a step back from it.  I don't think it's a bad thing in general, but if someone is not happy in their relationship, that is an 'easy' way of getting in touch with people you might not otherwise should be in touch with... 

ilovemygirls

Okay, that last sentence of mine was horrid, but I think you know what I mean )

boosma

My MOM had an affair with an old friend that she reconnected with on Myspace.   Started about 18 months ago, and she left my dad 6 months ago.  He (my dad) was totally blindsided. 

So, YES, I think it certainly makes it easier to start down the "slippery slope".   It is just tooooo easy to start chatting with someone online, where you can fantasize about this "perfect" person, and it just snowballs from there.  I agree that not everyone on FB/MS is going to do this, but I think it would be fair to say it left a bad taste in my mouth.

Temp159135562506975

DH and I both agree that connecting with old bf/gf's is just trouble... there is no reason to invite those people back into our lives- we have no need for their friendship- so to start conversations with them can only lead to trouble.  Neither of us are on FB. 

I have seen WAY too man posts from girls on here saying the connected with an old BF and were WAY too excited about it.  makes me wonder what is lacking in their life that they need that validation from another man.

magnoliablossom

I would say yes.  Maybe not a full on physical affair, but what about an emotional one?  I can really see if someone isn't having the best time with their marriage that it would be easy to reconnect with people that they had feelings for and flirt and so on.  I am of the personal belief that inviting anyone or anything that can get in the way of your emotional well being as a couple is dangerous, even if you never consumate the infidelity. 

I hope that makes sense. 

getnmarried910

I suppose it can be for some people, but I don't think so for the majority of people.  If you're going to have an affair over FB, I think you're (you as a general term, not you specifically) going to have an affair at some point anyway. 

I think it's a way to reconnect with old friends.  My DH knows that I am friends with an old boyfriend via myspace, but he also knows that that old boyfriend was more my best friend in high school than a boyfriend and we dated only a very short time before we realized we were better off as friends.  He's married VERY happily with two children, I'm VERY happily married with two children.  I know I couldn't have married that man.  He's a great person, but we have a lot of differences on the big things.  My DH and I also have an agreement that we don't share anything too personal with any member of the opposite sex and I show him any correspondence if he wants me to, and I usually leave it up so he can see it anyway.  He has all my passwords and I have all his.