So sick of IF making me bitter (preg/babies mentioned, not mine)

Hollowvic

Babies/Pregnancy Mentioned, (not mine). Just so sick of being angry and bitterall the time lately. I had a fight with my mother yesterday, she is less than supportive. I'm starting to feel resentful towards my husband, who is super loving, but he says he's going to cut back on his drinking and caffeine, but doesn't. I found out an ex friend of mine who I stopped talking to because she was a hot mess, is now KU. Seriously, the girls drinks like a fish, yet she had no problem getting KU. I go to Walmart and see a women in front of me online with an infant and I just get angry, a year ago I would have smiled at the baby, but now I just want to cry at the thought of never having my own. Every time I go online a new celebrity is pregnant. I think seeing that Sara Gilbert is pregnant tonight on Yahoo just did me in tonight. I want to be happy for these people but I just can't stop being bitter and angry. I know I'm only hurting myself. Just wondering what other pp do to not feel so bitter and angry. I'm starting to hate myself for feeling this way. I used to be a happy person, now I just feel like a Debbie downer all the time.

ritacita

I'm sorry . Those feelings really suck. I don't know if this will be any help AT ALL, but it kind of changed for me once we stopped talking about adoption and focused solely on TTC. Adoption was always in the back of my mind as a 'just in case', and I found that it made me angry when people that shouldn't have kids (in my genius opinion ) did, and I knew I could be doing better. Once I realized that I really didn't want their kid, I wanted my own, there was a huge shift for me, and now I generally love it when I hear about other peoples pregnancies. Except when my own mother announced that my cousin was pregnant the very day I found out IUI#1 failed... But most of the time it's no longer an issue

lisa89760

I'm sorry - I feel the same way.  I've asked my husband numerous times to please not let me get bitter, but I still do.  There are some people I just stand to hear about their pregnancy.  I don't really have an advice, but I do try and focus on me a lot more (as selfish as that sounds), but it's helping a little. 

rachelkeller

I'm sorry. It is hard not to get bitter. I teach, and encounter a lot of "parents" that have great children and they don't take care of them. It's sad. Prayers to you.

DSculley1824

I'm sorry! I completely get where you are coming from. I'm a Speech-Language Pathologist in the schools and you wouldn't believe the number of families I deal with that don't give a crap about their kids. I've seen it all and it makes me SO angry. I always ask myself how people like that can have kids (sometimes 4+) that they don't take care of and I can't even have 1. That sounds so awful but ugh it's how I feel sometimes.

I have no advice to give bc I haven't thought of anything for myself that works. I allow myself to have a pity party and then I guess I just suck it up and move on and hope that the next cycle is the winning one.

Hugs!!

je333206

I 100% understand how you feel, and most of the time I feel guilty for how I feel.  I have many co-workers with multiple children who they cannot take care of or really care about, it breaks my heart.  I find myself telling my husband that if we were a little less prepared and wanted this less it would happen sooner.

I don't have any advice but just want you to know that you are not alone and IF is a nasty beast

dancerspose

I'm sorry @hallowvic I definitely feel where you're coming from. It's so hard to not get resentful and bitter. I have no words of wisdom for you; I wish I did. I hope it makes you feel better just to know you're not alone. (((HUGS)))

Hollowvic

I think today just got the best of me. I've been pretty good the past couple of weeks, but I guess I'm allowed to have a pity party once in a while. I had to go to pick up the records from my old RE and bring them to my new RE, I started reading through them, the notes, all the SA's w notes that said abnormal, I just lost it. A lot of the stuff I didn't understand, it seems so hopeless right now. @murrt‌ I seriously think we're married to the same guy, lol.

theholmanherd

I feel the exact same way. It makes me angry at myself that I get so damn jealous and angry about everyone else's pregnancies and children.

blessed2585

I am so sorry to hear about this. I know it is stressful, and it does hurt. My ex husband and I were trying to get pregnant and I couldn't. I know the pain and frustration that comes with that. I will keep you in my prayers.