LO keeps coming to our bed

RamaLamaDD

Our LO has recently started coming into our bed every morning between 5 and 6 a.m.

We took the side off her crib and everything was great for a couple weeks, she would sleep and then at 6:30 - 7 (her usual wake up time) would come barreling out the door and into our room to wake us up ("WAKE UP MOMMY!")

Now it is 5 a.m. barreling while crying and then up into our bed and back to sleep for an hour or two.

Has anyone else dealt with this? Should I just let it run it's course or should I be trying to put her back into bed? (I'm worried if I try to put her back she'll just wake up more and then I won't be able to get her back to sleep at all and she'll be a beast all day lol)

ashiscute

theresat858 said:

Does it bother you to have her sleep with you for that hour or two?  If not, let her keep coming into your bed. If so, take her back to her room.  Maybe get one of those color toddler clocks for her and repeat that she has to stay in her room until it turns green (or however those things actually work).  It may take a while for her to get it, but if you are consistent with your rules, she should figure it out.

My cutoff is about 5:45.  If DD wakes up and comes in our room before that, she goes back to her room and back into her bed.  If she wakes up after that, I suck it up. DH's alarm goes off at 6:15.

This is pretty much it.  If she's going back to sleep I'm not sure that it's a huge issue.  If you don't want her there take her back to bed.  I don't let my kids in my bed before 630.  I'm a meanie.  

Smh619

We've been asking the same question. Our LO has been waking up at 5 and I started bringing him into our bed where he'd sleep til 6:30-7. HOWEVER, last week he started waking up at 4-4:30 screaming to come in our bed. I think we've created a monster. I'm not against letting him in our bed after 5 but it's been tough "teaching" him when it's too early for mommy & daddy's bed.

RamaLamaDD

Smh619 said:

We've been asking the same question. Our LO has been waking up at 5 and I started bringing him into our bed where he'd sleep til 6:30-7. HOWEVER, last week he started waking up at 4-4:30 screaming to come in our bed. I think we've created a monster. I'm not against letting him in our bed after 5 but it's been tough "teaching" him when it's too early for mommy & daddy's bed.

Yes - my god, and you feel awful for saying no. Plus our LO's room is right next to ours so it's sort of...if she cries we don't sleep anyway.

I think we're going to try getting better light blocking blinds for her room (right now we just have curtains, having just moved and with new windows to be installed we had to wait) and will also try the toddler 'alarm' clock. We have lots of toys in her room so I think the clock might work if we tell her that she can either stay in bed or play quietly until it's time to get up.

Smh619

I've been thinking of getting an "alarm clock" too. This morning he woke up at 4:30 and I just went in his room and told him it wasn't time to get up yet. I sat down next to his crib, put on some music so he'd go back to sleep. He ended up sleeping til 6:15 with me next to his bed.

bitsybubbles7

ashiscute said:

theresat858 said:

Does it bother you to have her sleep with you for that hour or two?  If not, let her keep coming into your bed. If so, take her back to her room.  Maybe get one of those color toddler clocks for her and repeat that she has to stay in her room until it turns green (or however those things actually work).  It may take a while for her to get it, but if you are consistent with your rules, she should figure it out.

My cutoff is about 5:45.  If DD wakes up and comes in our room before that, she goes back to her room and back into her bed.  If she wakes up after that, I suck it up. DH's alarm goes off at 6:15.

This is pretty much it.  If she's going back to sleep I'm not sure that it's a huge issue.  If you don't want her there take her back to bed.  I don't let my kids in my bed before 630.  I'm a meanie.  

This is us too.  Ds1 comes in around 6 and we sleep until 6:45 or so.  But if it's before 6, he gets put back in his bed.  I'm looking into one of those alarm clocks too, but more for next summer when it's light out at 5:45. 

greyt00

RamaLamaDD said:

Our LO has recently started coming into our bed every morning between 5 and 6 a.m.

We took the side off her crib and everything was great for a couple weeks, she would sleep and then at 6:30 - 7 (her usual wake up time) would come barreling out the door and into our room to wake us up ("WAKE UP MOMMY!")

Now it is 5 a.m. barreling while crying and then up into our bed and back to sleep for an hour or two.

Has anyone else dealt with this? Should I just let it run it's course or should I be trying to put her back into bed? (I'm worried if I try to put her back she'll just wake up more and then I won't be able to get her back to sleep at all and she'll be a beast all day lol)

I would put her back in her bed.  This is a slippery slope, IMO.  I know kids are different, but if I let my DS1 stay in our room after he came in, he'd start coming in earlier and earlier, and before you know it, he'd be protesting going to bed at all.  By letting her stay, you are teaching her that if she gets up, she can stay with you.  It's positive reinforcement.  I get what you're saying that sending her back to her room is more of a disruption and you think it might wake her up more, but I disagree.  Going back to their room and back to sleep is something they need to learn to do.  If you don't want this behavior going on for months and months, stop it now.  Her crying and keeping you awake is not a reason to give in.  If you enforce her staying in her room, it will get better.   

greyt00

RamaLamaDD said:

Smh619 said:

We've been asking the same question. Our LO has been waking up at 5 and I started bringing him into our bed where he'd sleep til 6:30-7. HOWEVER, last week he started waking up at 4-4:30 screaming to come in our bed. I think we've created a monster. I'm not against letting him in our bed after 5 but it's been tough "teaching" him when it's too early for mommy & daddy's bed.

Yes - my god, and you feel awful for saying no. Plus our LO's room is right next to ours so it's sort of...if she cries we don't sleep anyway.

I don't mean to be harsh, but first and foremost, it's not really about you sleeping or not.  She needs to learn to sleep in her own room.  It will disrupt everyone's sleep for the near term, but in the long term, it will probably be better.  Secondly, it is about everyone sleeping.  But if you want her in her own bed, she has to learn, and you might have to do the hard thing.

RamaLamaDD

greyt00 said:

RamaLamaDD said:

Smh619 said:

We've been asking the same question. Our LO has been waking up at 5 and I started bringing him into our bed where he'd sleep til 6:30-7. HOWEVER, last week he started waking up at 4-4:30 screaming to come in our bed. I think we've created a monster. I'm not against letting him in our bed after 5 but it's been tough "teaching" him when it's too early for mommy & daddy's bed.

Yes - my god, and you feel awful for saying no. Plus our LO's room is right next to ours so it's sort of...if she cries we don't sleep anyway.

I don't mean to be harsh, but first and foremost, it's not really about you sleeping or not.  She needs to learn to sleep in her own room.  It will disrupt everyone's sleep for the near term, but in the long term, it will probably be better.  Secondly, it is about everyone sleeping.  But if you want her in her own bed, she has to learn, and you might have to do the hard thing.

Yeah I get that - and my feeling on the whole thing is that she needs to go back. I do have my weak moments but generally at 4 a.m. I'm pretty mean. I didn't say that it's about me getting sleep - I don't get sleep whether she's in my bed or crying in her own room.

I just wanted to see what other peoples experiences were...apparently varied! DH is leaning towards letting her in, because he is weak and gives in easily (ha) whereas I lean towards throwing her back into bed and saying she has to stay there until morning. My concern is (as others pointed out) her getting used to it and thinking it's "right".

Ironically, I posted this question and she hasn't come to our room since...this morning she woke up around 4 and was crying for me (I heard her try her bedroom door...which she can't open because it sticks), and I was kind of lying there hoping she would just go back to bed...finally sat up to go get her and she stopped. She didn't get up until after DH's alarm had already went off at 6:15.

greyt00

I hope her getting up is a short-lived phase.  I've been trying to get my DS1 to stay in his room all night this entire year.  He's headstrong and manipulative and if you give him an inch, he wants a mile.  We have to be *extremely* careful not to inadvertently reinforce behaviors we don't want.  I think we trained him to get up in the middle of the night simply by giving him a tissue (this behavior started after a bad upper respiratory infection).  We just wanted him to go back to bed, and a tissue made him happy.  Over the following months, he started getting up more often and earlier.  He didn't always ask for the tissue, but I feel pretty sure that was what started this mess.  Maybe an extreme case, but I'm super strict at night now and will be the same when DS2 is out of the crib.