~*~June Check-In~*~

rmpar29

This is a weekly check-in for women who have suffered the loss of an angel with an EDD in June, no matter what the year.  You are welcome to join us, just post an intro including your EDD and the information below:

Where are you in your TTCAL journey/cycle, etc? Any updates/appointments you'd like to share?

Good luck to all of you!! If you leave for PGAL, please send me a PM so we can all congratulate you. If you are taking a bump break, please do the same!

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June badges:

https://ttcalbadges.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/june-1-e1407202177688.jpg?w=780

https://ttcalbadges.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/june-2-e1407202157824.jpg?w=780

https://ttcalbadges.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/june-3-e1407202166427.jpg?w=780

https://ttcalbadges.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/june-4-e1407202190123.jpg?w=780

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 QOTW: Which is your favorite: apple or pumpkin?

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 June Bugs:

@CheesyPeas 6/15/2011 - Good luck with your appointment today!  Update us when you can. 

@MrsG80inTN 6/4/2014 - Oh honey, so sorry to see that AF came to visit.  Are you going in to the RE tomorrow for CD3 and a plan, or will this cycle be missed because of your work travel?  How was your weekend with the in-laws?

@kittymeowbark 6/21/2014 -  Looks like a wonderful temp jump there!  That's much earlier than you thought right?  Hobbes is just adorable!  How's the training going?

@towncargirl 6/27/2014 -  We haven't seen you in awhile.  How are you?    

 

If your name is missing from above, please let me know and post an update. Some are not included as we have not heard from you in many weeks.

MrsG80inTN

Yeah - CD 1 sucks... UGH!  My DH got so hopeful by the end of the cycle... so bummed... and I've consoled mysefl with food which is not helpful to anything... Work is a mess as well so that's not cool.  I called my RE today... they don't do CD3 BW in any of my cycles (I'm sure they would for IVF), so I'm not going to see them and with my work schedule they just said to do clomid and hope for the best... I'd lvoe to get pregnant without them because they've been a total pain anyway....

rmpar29

@MrsG80inTN - Your RE doesn't do CD3 b/w and u/s???  Is there another RE in the area?  I've never heard of an RE that didn't do that.  Are they not willing to move on from Clomid?  So many ((((((HUGS)))))) for you love!  Give yourself some comfort food and a pass for a couple days. 

MrsG80inTN

They don't do CD3 bw and u/s... There are other REs, but none that do IVF if we decide to go that route so we're in a bit of a bind... They want to do IUI, but I don't really understand how IUI would help us when our problem isn't getting pregnant, it's staying that way... And IUI is out for us this cycle too because I'll be traveling CD10-CD13 (And CD13 falls on a Saturday)... so... they basically said to call when I get my period next or call in 34 days if I don't... DH and I want to do 100 dose of clomid again, but I'm not sure yet if they will prescribe... UGH!

rmpar29

@MrsG80inTN - I really don't want to say anything bad about your current RE, but maybe it would be worthwhile to get a 2nd opinion.  Here's why I say this...  CD3 b/w and u/s is to ensure that your body is ready to go another round with fertility meds and an u/s to make sure that you don't have any cysts left over from the previous round.  Without this testing, I don't know that it's healthy to continue on with another cycle.  I understand that you want the avenue of IVF open, but it would still be possible to come back to this RE if it comes to that.  I'm just wondering if there's further testing that could be done at this point to see if there's something else going on that is being missed by not looking at CD3 b/w.  Please, take my opinion with a grain of salt if you are exceptionally happy with this RE.  But, if there's any doubt in your mind, please seek a second opinion.  (((((HUGS)))))

MrsG80inTN

@rmpar29 - thank you for being so thoughtful and letting me know your thoughts!  I really appreciate them.  Another bumpie is in the area and sees another RE and that RE doesn't do CD3 bw / us either so I'm not sure if it's just something around here that is an issue or what... 

rmpar29

@MrsG80inTN - Hmmm...weird.  I thought that was standard practice.  Did your OB take CD3 bw, or am I completely off-base thinking you've had that done?

MrsG80inTN

@rmpar29 - I've had CD3 BW done before, just not through my RE since it was done in May he didn't feel the need to run it again... I did talk to them yesterday and they have me starting clomid tonight doing things on my own though due to my travel... I'm hoping it provides less stress and a positive outcome. 

CheesyPeas

@MrsG80inTN, I'm so sorry that your last cycle was a bust.  I was stalking your chart and feeling so hopeful.  ((hugs))

As for me, my day yesterday was a roller coaster ride.  I walked into the hematologist yesterday knowing I had heterzygous MTHFR and a slight Protein S deficiency, and was fully expecting him to tell me baby aspirin and Lovenox shots during pregnancy due to Layla's stillbirth.  Instead, he tells my test results show I'm homozygous for the Prothrombin II mutation as well and that that's a bad one.  He is visibly in disbelief when I answer his question about family history and that there have been no other stillbirths, pulmonary embolisms, or leg blood clots that I'm aware of.  And he tells me that I'm at a higher risk for blood clots and that if I have one it will take me a long time to recover and blah blah blah.  So my head is kind of spinning at this point because I'm receiving bad news about my own health as well as virtual confirmation as to what killed my two babies and somehow my OB never noticed this piece of info on my test results?!?  I looked at the results myself, and the only results that were flagged with an icon by the computer were the Protein S and MTHFR, so I'm also thinking maybe the doctors at the hospital I delivered at or Mayo where several of my tests were sent just happened to forget to flag it??  So yeah, after all of that, I had to go back to work and am obsessively googling homozygous Prothrombin mutation (1 in 10,000 have this by the way) for the rest of the day.  And then I look at my test results when I get home from work and it says "homozygous wild-type genotype" which means homozygous for NON-MUTATED genes!  So he had me thinking I had two copies of a mutated gene, and outlined the protocol for a two-copy mutation case, and I now have to call them back and tell them I actually have ZERO copies of that particular mutuation.  So yeah, I know absolutely nothing new coming out of that appointment now.  Just a roller coaster ride of emotions for nothing...

Sorry for the long update.

rmpar29

@CheesyPeas - I'm sending you so many (((((HUGS))))) and good thoughts.  I read that through twice and am still a little confused, but it seems like this might be answers, but might just be more questions.  Either way, I hope that you get through to the doctor for some clarification and a plan soon.  Please update when you do! 

@MrsG80inTN - Are they monitoring you too?

MrsG80inTN

@rmpar29 - no... I'm traveling for work from CD10 on and CD14 falls over a weekend so they felt CD15 was too late and are letting me go it alone... 

kittymeowbark

Hi Ladies
@MrsG80inTN---So sorry AF came. HUGS!!!...so this cycle you will not be monitored?
@CheesyPeas--- Wow. just wow. That really is a roller coaster of emotions. BIG hugs!
@rmpar29--- how are you doing? Thanks for the check-in as always!

Temping has been off this month due to my lack of desire(not about the baby part, but the actual ttc process) + my new schedule. Temping is all over the place and inconsistent, so this month I am not counting on FF to really pull trough for me. Temps went right back down again, but I do feel like I will O soon. My head is just not in it this month and I am hoping I get out of this negative place eventually. =((


On a brighter note...
Hobbes is doing well.Sleeps in his crate and knows the basics tricks (sit, down, paw.) I can't wait until he has all of his shots so he can start puppy training and going to the beach. This housebreaking thing is no joke, but he is trying very hard to be a good boy.
(pic below because I cant control myself)



OTW: Which is your favorite: apple or pumpkin?
I do like both, but I will lean more towards pumpkin

CheesyPeas

@rmpar29 sorry that my story was a little all over the place.  I was able to talk to the doctor today and his response on the homozygous Prothrombin issue was even more confusing, so I won't get into that but bottom line was I'm still heterozygous MTHFR, and that combined with my history means he wants me on Lovenox, baby aspirin, and a folate prescription.  So the meds remain the same as they did when I left his office yesterday.

I think where things ultimately landed is a good thing.  Less of a risk to my own health than when my results were misinterpreted and they thought I had a third rare homozygous clotting factor on top of the other two more mild ones.  Less of a clotting risk to future babies during pregnancy.  The only downside is less certainty as to whether I can attribute my losses to clotting.  There were clots in Layla's placenta but my OB said those also thought to occur after a baby passes, so they couldn't really say for sure if it was a cause or a result of her death.  With strong clotting factors, I would feel pretty good that clots were the cause.  With milder clotting factors, I'm more uncertain so I'll probably feel some extra anxiety about that if we're able to conceive again about what other dangers might be out there that we're missing.  

CheesyPeas

@kittymeowbard, ((hugs))  I'm so sorry you're not in a good place right now in the TTC space.  I really hope things start looking up for you soon.  And that pup of yours is SO STINKIN CUTE!  I can hardly stand it.

towncargirl

I'm around still...just lurking. AF is 5 days late yet again this month still getting BFN's so just playing the waiting game :P That's pretty much all thats happening.

rmpar29

Hey ladies!  Sorry I didn't respond yesterday.  It's been a rough week and I really had a hard time coming here. 

@MrsG80inTN - I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about you being unmonitored this month, so I hope that it all works out OK for you! 

@kittymeowbark - So nice to see you lady.  I know how hard it is to pick yourself up after another devastating BFN.  There's no shame in taking a month off if you need to.  Many, many ((((((HUGS)))))) and I hope things turn around for you.

@CheesyPeas - I'm glad that you got a chance to talk to the doc and that you have a good plan.  Does he need to monitor you for any reason?  Are you cleared to TTC?

@towncargirl - I'm sorry that AF is playing games with you.  I hope that she comes soon so you can move on!

Huge ((((HUGS)))) ladies!  I'm here anytime!

CheesyPeas

rmpar29 said:

Hey ladies!  Sorry I didn't respond yesterday.  It's been a rough week and I really had a hard time coming here. 


@CheesyPeas - I'm glad that you got a chance to talk to the doc and that you have a good plan.  Does he need to monitor you for any reason?  Are you cleared to TTC?

@rmpar29, I'm so sorry you've been having a hard week.  Has it just been busy or has something else been going on?  ((hugs))

I have a follow up appointment with my hematologist for more blood work in two weeks, so I think he's probably monitoring homocysteine with my MTHFR diagnosis.  He took some blood earlier this week which I'm guessing will be his baseline and he'll just be monitoring it from there.  I didn't actually ask, so I'm kind of guessing but he obviously has a desire to watch something since he scheduled repeat blood work.

rmpar29

@CheesyPeas - I'm glad that he's monitoring your b/w and I hope it improves!  Are you having any side effects from the new meds?

Thanks for asking about me.  It's been a really busy, but also depressing week.  On Monday, I received a card from my SIL with a picture of our family from when my grandma's sister, niece and her husband were visiting.  I was walking back from the mailbox and it was sunny out, so when I first looked at the pic I saw my mom standing next to me instead of my mom's cousin.  I lost my mom in April and it honestly took my breath away when I saw her standing there.  It really threw me into a downward spiral for the week.  Plus, we had to fight with the contractors that were installing our new windows and door, and I got a flat tire 1/4 mile from my house on Wed.  Just too much for one week!!! 

*********** Another's pregnancy and LC mentioned    ***********








Then, today, I find out a co-worker is pregnant.  Granted, she's had 2-3 losses and has one daughter that's 5 or 6, so it's not that she's not due some happiness.  But, she's also a complete bitch and has a horrible marriage with both of them fooling around.  The last I heard, she was talking about a divorce.  I'm very conflicted right now on feeling some happiness for her because of her history and how long she's been trying, and also being extremely jealous and scared that she will have another loss.  It's not public information yet, so I can't say anything to her, and probably wouldn't even if I could.  I guess I'm just all kinds of messed up right now...

MrsG80inTN

@rmpar29 - I can understand your feelings... I have had similar feelings recently... Especially with one situation where they aren't married (aren't sure they'll stay together) and have no family support in town to raise a baby... EEK.  I would never wish a loss on anyone, but I just can't seem to wrap my head around why I can't have a healthy pregnancy and others can...

CheesyPeas

@rmpar29, so many ((hugs)) to you.  What a week.  I know the pain of losing a parent and the pain of pregnancy loss which are both so overwhelming.  I lost a parent years before my first pregnancy loss though, so my heart truly goes out to you having to navigate both in such a short period of time.  I can't even imagine dealing with both sets of triggers all at once.  I really hope you have a nice, issue-free, and pregnancy announcement-free weekend to help you start the next week in a better place.

towncargirl

Af reared her ugly face at 6 days late. Whatever but I do have a question.. Is your ob supposed to monitor you while on clomid? Mine never even mentioned it...

@rmpar29‌ ((hugs)) I work with a girl that found out she was pregnant the week that I lost our lo (I was 8 weeks and she was 4). Her bf is very abusive and they are fighting a lot now and on the verge of breaking up. Oh and I babysit for them so I get to hold and cuddle the little guy that is only 3 weeks younger then what my angel would be. I can't decide if he breaks my heart more or helps heal it. Life's just not fair.

rmpar29

@towncargirl - It is certainly recommended to having monitoring while you are on Clomid for a number of reasons:
1.  You have to know if you are responding to Clomid.  If you aren't getting any follies then it's time to move on.
2.  You have to make sure that your lining is not thining.  Clomid can thin your lining to the point that an egg cannot implant and it can take years to thicken up your lining again.
3.  To avoid having too many fetuses.  Many REs will not recommend trying if there are too many eggs and a risk of having high-order multiples. 

For OB's, Clomid seems like an easy option that they will throw at anyone that's having troubles, but it is a serious drug that can cause lasting fertility problems.  I've heard enough bad stories about Clomid that I would never use it unmonitored.  But, everyone's different and some feel comfortable taking it without being monitored, especially if they've been monitored on previous cycles.  I don't know much about your history, but if you are needing help and taking Clomid it might be time to move to an RE that will monitor you.