Let's talk: sleep training

Prncesta

Now that my LO is getting a bit older, I'm starting to think about which sleep training method I will be using. I recently purchased 12 hours by 12 weeks and it seems a bit intense. So I was wondering:

If you plan to sleep train, which method will you be using?

When do you plan to start? How old will your LO be?

Are you reading any books to help?

EllaSmella

Sleep Lady Shuffle

Will start at a year if she's not STTN.

Have the book from DS.

I will do everything I can to make her a good sleeper, but like with DS, I won't sleep train until I stop nursing, which will (hopefully) not be until she's a year old.

DS was a crappy sleeper (didn't STTN until we sleep trained at 12 months), but I didn't feel comfortable sleep training when he was just a little guy (not judging folks who do, just my own personal feelings). Although it was brutal at times, we waited until he was a year old before we did any sleep training, and even then it was more "gentle" (ie no unattended CIO). I plan on doing the same with DD unless there's a good reason not to.

lindslalala

We sleep trained DS at 5 1/2 months. I didn't read any books, just let him cry a little then checked him and then gradually let him cry longer. I don't see sleep training DD until she's at least 5 months but it depends on what kind of sleeper she is.

iris427

I did some variation of Ferber/CIO with my first two. This little guy is already an awesome sleeper so I'm going to see how things are going at 4-6 months. I recommend the book Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell if anyone is looking for a good sleep book.

ksspiff

I'll be the outlier: I sleep trained this past weekend at 8weeks. My daughter at 10.
After sleep signals, swaddling and rocking, I laid him down awake in his crib then walked away. After 20min, if he was still crying or fussing, I'd go back in, calm him down then start again. For DS, I never had to go back in. For DD, I had to go in twice a few times, but after two days we were having very little fussing before naps and bedtime.

stefaniew26

I'm not one who believes in sleep training before 9 months if age. They are so little for such a sort amount of time. But I know everyone does things differently.
With my 3 year old, we modified the CIO method and started at 10 months. Instead of leaving the room for her to scream her head off, we stayed in the room with her and pat her back to help soothe but never picked her up.

1982Babies

I have no real "plan" for sleep training.  Right now, she will sleep anywhere from 4-8 hours at a time, usually around 6 hours during her first bout, then a feeding and back out for 2-4 hours.  I think that's pretty good.

She has, however, slept up to 10 hours at once.  I'd love it if she could do that more often.  Right now, I am just happy that she goes back to sleep after her initial wake up.

AnotherPreggo

I did sleep training with DD at 11 months. I let her cry 10 mins, came in to rub her back, then 15 mins, and after the 2nd back rub, she understood. I will wait to sleep train DS until I am confident that he is content (no gas pains... Which have been waking him up lately). I won't sleep train any earlier than 6 months.

lamarei

Sleep training is not for us. Babies, children and adults wake regularly through the night. It is biologically unnatural to expect an infant or toddler to sleep through the night.
We will have a bed time routine, cues are helpful for falling asleep. I just will not expect any set amount of uninterrupted sleep.

[Deleted User]

I did Ferber with DS1 around 4-5 months to get him to fall asleep on his own because bedtime was taking 2+ hours every night - rocking him til he fell asleep then trying to put him down without him waking up. I was frustrated and he wasn't getting enough sleep. It took a couple nights and he was able to put himself to sleep in his crib at bedtime. Around 10 months when he was still waking every couple hours I worked on eliminating some of those and again it only took 2 nights and he started sleeping 7-5, and once he finished teething at 14 months he went 7-7 on his own (that was also when he weaned himself).

If I do sleep train this one I'll probably use Ferber or something similar again but he's already a much better sleeper than DS1 ever was so we'll wait and see. Right now he goes down around 7-8, I do a dreamfeed around 10, then he usually wakes around 2-3. It's the early morning hours of 4-5 when he starts getting restless/gassy so I know he's not actually hungry but he can't really settle so he dozes and wakes frequently. I'm hoping that will improve as he gets a little older and his digestive system matures a bit.

iris427

lamarei said:

Sleep training is not for us. Babies, children and adults wake regularly through the night. It is biologically unnatural to expect an infant or toddler to sleep through the night.
We will have a bed time routine, cues are helpful for falling asleep. I just will not expect any set amount of uninterrupted sleep.

No, it is not biologically unnatural for a toddler to STTN. And yes, people of all ages wake in the night at the end of a sleep cycle. The point of sleep training isn't to eliminate those wakings, it's to allow children to learn how to put themselves back to sleep when one sleep cycle ends.

argonne

I used full-on extinction CIO with DS at about 10 months. I started with his MOTN waking, since it was habit at that point. After that, we did it at bed time. He never cried for more than 5 minutes, which was great. I gave a feeling DD will be easier, as she already has great sleep habits and can put herself back to sleep in the MOTN, when she's not hungry. I watched her stir and start to get a wee bit fussy and then she was back to sleep as I was gearing up to go get her. I hope the trend continues because I don't really like CIO.

argonne

lamarei said:

Sleep training is not for us. Babies, children and adults wake regularly through the night. It is biologically unnatural to expect an infant or toddler to sleep through the night. We will have a bed time routine, cues are helpful for falling asleep. I just will not expect any set amount of uninterrupted sleep.

Yes, we all wake regularly during the night since we sleep in cycles. Do you need someone to help put you back to sleep, though? Probably not. That's the idea of sleep training. I was just like you with DS, but by the time 10 months rolled around, I was just ready to sttn and so was he. I tried gentler methods, but he was the type that wouldn't settle with me around, so CIO it was and it worked within the first two nights for his MOTN waking and the first night for bed time.

nogo

I agree, 12 hours by 12 weeks seemed really intense, and I didn't like the idea of weaning LO off of night feedings. My thought was if he is hungry, he needs to eat. I did very very modified version of it (5 day feedings as opposed to 4), and decided to let the little guy dictate night feedings himself. He's down to only waking once, to feed, per night. As far as sleeping training, we do a night routine (bath, feed, book, swaddle, sound machine), and he is able to fall asleep on his own (he's pretty drowsy toward the end of the routine). The first few nights it took him like half an hour to fall asleep, but now he falls asleep within minutes. I have to say, the swaddle/sound machine combo is what did it. Now the question is when to stop swaddling... 

dobbyisfree

Am I sleep training without knowing it? Since we got a rock n play and he actually doesnt mind sleeping in it, he wakes, I change him, he eats, and when he stops eating and is just laying there I scoop him back into his RNP and go back to sleep in the recliner. He wakes me up again in 3 hrs for more food. What he does in the meantime is his business ;-)

alyss0nl

I don't really follow any method to the tee, just do what works for my kids. I'm not even familiar with all of them. I always put baby down for the night after his last bottle when he is semi asleep. He's learned to fall asleep on his own. I find that feeding an extra 2 oz during nighttime routine really helps him sleep from 8:30-5:30. If he does wake up in the MOTN I will out in his pacifier, and on the rare occasion give him a bottle.

BBColt78

I guess everyone has their own ideas of what sleep training is. In my opinion, we sleep train from day one. And by that we keep all the lights down after 8 PM and turn them back up by 6 Am. We don't chat with baby in the middle of the night. We give cuddles and we shush but we don't talk tobaby in the middle the night and stimulate her. We give baby a tiny blanket since day one. This little blanket goes in the car seat and everywhere baby goes so baby get used to it as a security item. We also use the Fisher-Price seahorse from day one. When it's time for bed at night we press the seahorse so dd associates the seahorse music with bedtime. If baby ever falls asleep in the swing we turned it off.

Ideas worked great for us. our baby number one slept from 8 PM to 6 AM at five weeks and this little one started sleeping from 8 PM to 5 AM at eight weeks.

Don't even ask me about naps.

Edit: Siri sucks

pjaimeal

CIO is a little extreme, but the jist of BabyWise in regards to scheduling and the eat-wake-sleep cycle has worked wonders for us. It has been trying, but we have become very in tune with LO's needs because of the "loose" scheduling. And I would like to note that CIO is different than letting your baby fuss before falling asleep. We let our baby fuss, if needed, before naps and nighttime but do not do CIO. Currently, we feed at 6am (sometimes 6:30), 9, 12, 3, 5:30, 7:30, bedtime at 8, dreamfeed at 11. LO has dropped the MOTN 3/4am feeding for the last three nights and he is 8 weeks old. All of this is dependent on LO's lead (other than the waking to eat, if needed). For example, I only put him down for a nap when I notice the sleepy signs. He could have 45 mins to one hour and 30 minutes of awake time, it all depends on him. But when he is sleepy, I put him down for a nap before he gets fussy. If he wakes 30 minutes before the normal feed time, I feed him and start the cycle. I feel that he sleeps better "knowing" that I will wake and feed him and he hasn't cried to eat since we started implementing the "loose" schedule last Wednesday. 

seells

I'm not sure. With DD she was an amazing sleeper from birth. She still is. So I'm hoping we get lucky again? So far so good. We will see how things go when we transition him into his crib in a couple months though.

BBColt78

Linzlu214 said:

@BBColt78‌ watch out for that seahorse. A girl in my last bmb had a problem with hers overheating and she's not the only one. https://www.whattoexpect.com/wom/baby/0303/fisher-price-soothe---glow-seahorse-poses-fire-hazard-but-is-not-being-recalled.aspx

Yes thank you. I've heard about that. Luckily ours are not affected. So random.