Aw: anatomy scan today!!!

AandStilltrying

Ok ladies I'm trying to hard to keep quiet this past week. We found out during our reg. OB visit the sex of twin a...however twin b has the cord between their legs! Ugh!!!

We are supposed to have a reveal party this coming Sat.

But ok, so I definitely love both our babies already, but I had my hopes on one sex over the other. To my surprise, so far my wish has not been met. To make it harder the rest of MY family wants them to be a certain sex too. I feel like they'll be disappointed if we don't get one of each at least! I'm the youngest on my side of the family, so my kids are last chance! Sarah's side, these will be their first grandkids so they are just excited!

2MamazInSeattle

When i found out our first baby was a boy I was sad. I didn't even know I wanted a girl until I found put I wasn't having one! I think its fine and normal to grieve a little. Before you know, you have a vision of your ideal and you have to let go of that ideal if that's not what you end up with. You'll adjust, just give it time, and you've still got a chance the other one will be opposite of the one you found out. Hugs, but I think you'll love those little babies no matter what once they're here!

KH826

I have a bit of a unique perspective on this, given that we were told we were having a girl, prepped for a girl for the whole second half of pregnancy, and then SURPRISE... we have a son!

Anywho, allow yourself to feel however you initially feel. It is OK to have hopes about what you will have. In a lot of ways that is normal. I know some people will not like this statement, but I am just being honest. Some people have strong feeling about having a boy v a girl or vice versa. Instead of vilifying those feelings, just accept that it is OK to feel that way, and you have time to work through that before your baby arrives (Or when they put the baby on your chest! LOL)... at any rate, in my experience, you will love your baby(ies) whole heartedly no matter what equipment they have between their legs. It all becomes unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Having a healthy, happy child (or children) is what matters above all else. I know this sounds trite considering you just finished telling us you are concerned about this based on admittedly having a preference for what you have, but trust me. Just wait until you have real live babies in your arms. Those are your children, and you will love them like crazy no matter what. I promise.

Also, for what it is worth, my wife was initially devastated that we had a boy. She would never use those words, and we don't really talk about it now because there is just no need to, but trust me, she was devastated. But that boy is her whole world now, and she wouldn't trade him for a dozen little girls. Everything happens for a reason, and the children that you get are yours for a reason. Plus, the expectations or preferences of family... just don't put too much stock in it. They will also love those babies to pieces no matter what. Promise!

LolaBelle515

I third the comments said above! It's totally OK to react however you need to react, no matter what another ultrasound says.  It's OK to grieve, to celebrate, to feel neutral.

Last time, I was convinced we were having a boy, so the ultrasound didn't surprise or cause any real feelings for me.

My wife, though she actually hoped for a boy, still grieved for the little girl that was not coming.  She realized later she would have grieved either way.

I can promise you, now that he is in our life...we wouldn't have it any other way. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel (and your family the same. It is not your responsibility to make them feel better.), and then get ready to be overwhelmed with love for your children:)

KH826

LolaBelle515 said:

 and then get ready to be overwhelmed with love for your children:)

Yep, just get ready! It is the most overwhelmed you will ever feel in your whole life. I still (3 whole months later HAHA) marvel daily about how overwhelming it is. Best.Feeling.Ever.

Those little people are going to be so ridiculously awesome. And you and your wife made them! Ahhhh! Seriously, Best.Feeling.Ever.

CageyMack

I agree that it I can be really challenging to grapple with the notion of the sex of a baby.  I was convinced that I had a girl in there, the second time around.  This was because my little pea-brain extrapolated from n=1 that because I had a girl, "DUH, I have girls!"  Also, the Chinese gender chart said girl, I was craving all the "girl" foods, etc.  

Just to be clear, I put absolutely no stock in any of that.  

When the AS tech said boy, I nearly threw up.  Not because I didn't want a boy, just that subconsciously, I was so convinced it was a girl (again, based on nothing).  It was really bizarre.  

I didn't so much grieve the girl I "lost" but stood stupefied at the boy I gained.   A BOY?!?!?  What was that?!?!  I will tell you now that I am blown away by how much I love him.  It overwhelms me and makes me feel dizzy sometimes.  The first few months were a little different though, because I've never had a boy baby, never been around a boy.  But I loved him and he was ours, and, boy-howdy, is he EVER our boy now.  Our next baby is a girl and it pleases me no end to have our big boy.  

Good luck and I'm sure you will have your ups and downs as you learn the sex of the "hidden" baby, but know that love is amazingly encompassing.  But I know you know that.  

2momsinCA

We had 2 anatomy scans. At the first the MFM was *pretty sure* it was a boy and a girl. We were thrilled! We thought our family would be complete.

At the next AS, 3 weeks later, we found out it was definitely 2 boys. We were still happy but a bit disappointed. Over the next few weeks we embraced the idea and got into the whole moms to boys thing and obviously now we love it.

I think it's totally normal to be disappointed. But then between now and when they arrive you will totally get in to it. But then like @kh826, you may end up with the total opposite.