Snubbed?

pevila

A couple of months ago a mom from DD's preschool invited DD on a play date. She asked me if I was going to go with DD or if I was going to send her with her nanny. I told her we didn't have a nanny and that I was going to go with her. So we went and we had a nice time. This mom studies interior design, and I like it too, and I thoght we had hit it off. I said we should do the next play date at my house. 

Then, a few days later, DD bit her daughter and I called her to apologize, saying that I hoped this wouldn't mean we couldn't go through with the plydate we had planned. She said that we should let time pass because her daughter was very upset about being bitten. I totally understood. DD hasn't bitten anyone since. 

We met at preschool dropoff today and I asked her if she would like to do a playdate again, and she said yes, but that she probably wouldn't be able to come herself and that she would send her daughter with her nanny. It caught me off guard and I said that it was about the kids playing together. 

DH says it was a snub, because we didn't even set a date and she said that she couldn't go. I think maybe she's really busy. She's a SAHM, but has 3 kids and studies on line. I don't really know if she does other things...

Then I said to DH that I have to invite her anyway even though she's coming with the nanny, because I already told her so. He says that I shouldn't invite her. 

So, what do you think? Was this a snub, or not? Do you think I have to invite the kid anyway?

jlpev

I think that was very strange. I would take it as a snub & only BC you hadn't set a date. You could still invite the child. You & the nanny might get along.

crystal8503

It sounds like a snub to me. You made no mention of a date and she already knows she can't attend? I call bullshit.

MesmrEwe

Only snubbed if the kids can't play together... Sounds like she's an introvert and prefers the Nanny to do all things play dates... Not a snub, just not her cup of tea...

bumpuser8448316

I think it has nothing to do with the bite. I think hr question about the nanny coming to the original playmate suggests she was wanting the nanny to come, not you. Snub either way IMO

HelloClarice

I wouldn't necessarily say it was a snub. I only have two kids but between older kids regular school, little ones preschool, my volunteer work, regular things I have scheduled (my trainer at the gym, DS2's music class,, etc) I basically have no time. And I did have a nanny until DS2 started preschool last week, so I basically would have been in that position.

Aussie45

cjcouple said:

I bet she was asking if you were sending your nanny so she knew if she had to be there at her house. Sounds like she likes to handle play dates as nanny to nanny

This is what I'm thinking too. Or she's busy. If it is a snub, yet your kids like to play together then I would say who cares and keep getting your LOs together. No reason the kids can't have fun

littlemermaid

I wouldn't consider this a snub since she is letting her daughter come to the playdate.  She has a nanny so most likely playdates are duties of the nanny.

spring_time

I don't think it was a snub. With three kids and school, maybe her nanny takes on most of the playdates.  She might have met you the first time on an off day.

The bite sounds slightly over dramatic, though.  Don't preschoolers get into little squirmishes on a daily basis? They get over it relatively quickly unless parents are continuing their victimization.

pevila

Thanks. I think I have to invite the kid now that I've offered, but it doesn't appeal to me to invite her if only the nanny is coming. Oh, well, she'll come once and that's it. 

pevila

spring_time said:

I don't think it was a snub. With three kids and school, maybe her nanny takes on most of the playdates.  She might have met you the first time on an off day.

The bite sounds slightly over dramatic, though.  Don't preschoolers get into little squirmishes on a daily basis? They get over it relatively quickly unless parents are continuing their victimization.

DD bit her daughter on her forehead, and it looked awful. It healed pretty quickly, but I felt REALLY bad. 

spring_time

pevila said:

spring_time said:

I don't think it was a snub. With three kids and school, maybe her nanny takes on most of the playdates.  She might have met you the first time on an off day.

The bite sounds slightly over dramatic, though.  Don't preschoolers get into little squirmishes on a daily basis? They get over it relatively quickly unless parents are continuing their victimization.

DD bit her daughter on her forehead, and it looked awful. It healed pretty quickly, but I felt REALLY bad. 

Oh dear. I guess that is probably a little bit more than a nip on the arm... I still wouldn't take it as a snub since she still wanted to get your kids together.

fintin

You never know, you might get along better with the nanny than her. It sounds like a snub to me but I'd invite her anyway if your daughter likes playing with her.

pevila

Yeah, I don't know about the nanny... I've met her in DD's preschool and she just seems very quiet. I was just hoping to make a new friend YKWIM? Sucks.