Parenting Check In (Sept. 8)

ball.and.chain

How is/was your weekend? Any new accomplishments, challenges or successes?

QOTD: It's start to feel a bit like fall here in New England.  What's are your favorite thing(s) about fall?

Parenting Roster:

(Please let me know if you would like to be added)

@KH826 – Will born 6/4/14

@ATXmommas – Sebastian (“Ash”) born 11/21/13, other Momma is Z

@Wallace323 – J and L born 8/8/13, surviving triplets born at 31 weeks

@Trisholio – Proud foster parents to M born 2/6/12 and K born 8/22/13; and pregnant expecting a third daughter in September 2014.

@JGY – Gabe born 3/24/13, other Mama is S.

@Stringy813 – M born May 2013

@Filmfanatic82 – Charley born 3/15/14

@Mamosey‌ & @Karlamo‌ – R born 2/25/14

@2brides – G & C born 5/18/06, other Mom is L

@Jrtmom – Henry born 8/15/13, other mama is L

@Sarahtrpt – C born February 2014

@CageyMack – W born 3/16/13

@Themommymonster – C (DS) born 2/18/09

@Clairmeij – Alarico born 6/28/13, other mama is V

@Mystjava – Little Bear (LB) born 3/31/10, other Mummum is Shawn

@winstan1 – J (DS) born 9/10 (currently 3.5 years old)

@newmompeanut – N (DD) born 2/12/13, other Momma is B

@herbabymama‌ – C (DD) born 12/10/13, other Mama is K

@AmandaG47 – Twin girls born 2/22/14, other Mommy is J

@mwagner25 – Oliver born 11/27/13, other parent is L

@jazibel – Kaden born 7/13/12 and Owen born 5/2/14, other parent (Aya) is EV

@redrockmama – M born 6/19/14, other Mama is J

@ball.and.chain – B born 6/28/14

@Flygirl1228 – Twins 7/25/14

@KLeigh1‌ - S born 7/25/14

@2MamazInSeattle‌ - S born 8/21/14

@shameless370087‌ - Anthony and Sati, born 3/9/2014, Other mom is S

ball.and.chain

Hope I am not stealing anyone's thunder by posting the check in -- I just figure if it's not posted when I log on on Monday morning, I'll put it up there!

B and I just finished a 45 minute walk from our house down through a historic estate nearby and over to the river.  It is sunny, mid-60s, and there is a cloudless blue sky.  Perfect walking weather and starting to feel like fall (it'll be in the 70's today, but that's good enough for me).  Now we are sitting on the deck (he's dozing/sucking on his Wubbanub in the carseat) in the backyard.  I have pumped, I have eaten, and I am feeling good!  I should also point out that my nerve injury in my foot is about 98% healed, which means that I can go on a 45-minute walk without falling on my face!  I do not take this for granted.

The weekend was nothing exciting -- errands, laundry, baby-wrangling -- but Saturday is one of the days my wife is off, so that is always nice.  That's really the only thing that makes it a weekend, since I'm not back at work yet.  Also, as of Friday night, she is on vacation for a week!  We're going to try to do some fun stuff at home, get the house in order, and then head up to Maine for about four-five days, which includes an annual cider-making weekend with my family and family friends (34 years and running).  This is the first year that there is a 3rd generation of cider makers Ben and the 1yo daughter of a family friend).

Ben has been a bit fussy in the evenings, but last night he slept from 10 pm to 3 am!  WIN.  He seems to be gaining wait (according to the extremely scientific method of weighing myself while holding him, and then while not holding him), which is fantastic.  I've been able to keep up with the pumping, and he's still getting one bm bottle a day, which makes me happy.  He is more interactive by the minute, and every day I try to read him at least one book, let him look at/listen to his musical crib mobile (one of his favorite things), do back and tummy time on his activity mat (I know "back time" isn't a thing, but he likes to look at the hanging sea animals), play with his monkey and/or giraffe toy, get outside (for a walk or just to look at things in the yard) and have a nice chat.

QOTW: Almost everything?  Weather, apple season, cider making, changing trees.  The smell!  I love the smell

Karlamo

Good Morning!
R is taking a great nap right now. We're going on 45 min.
He had EI today for the first time for his mild torticollis . He did great and I'm amazed at how the human body works. He struggles with gas and doesn't like to be rocked in a certain position. Apparently these are common signs associated with torticollis.
Sleep is staying consistent not STTN but getting a good 5 hour stretch in there.
He has started crawling! My wife and I were like ok we're crawling now but EI is amazed that at 6 months he's crawling. She says that a 7-8 month old skill. Guess our LO is a mover like his moms. We still need to wait till 8 months to run with him which is a bummer but it's right around the corner.
@KLeigh1‌, I think you're right, no one will take care of them like we do. We're their moms!! But they can do a good job and can show her new experiences that will help her develop. I think the reason why R is developing new skills quickly is that he sees other kids at dc do these things and he's learning from them. It's never easy to leave them.
As for the siblings. We are not registered.
QOTW: the cool weather for sure.

2brides

It was a good weekend! Gray had his first eye appt and needs glasses. Rented a viola for Carter (he is starting lessons at school.) Had date night with L (dinner and a movie) while the kids were at Parents Night Out. Went to church for the first time all summer. Went to my employee picnic. Did a ton of laundry.

QOTD: Cooler weather! I love fall weather! I love fall clothes (shorts with long sleeve shirts/sweatshirts are my favorite!) I love all of the activities of fall - kids' sports/fall festivals/carnivals/etc.

JGY

@ball.and.chain - I love your update.  It just made me smile.  It's really heartening to get a small glimpse into your joyful life these days.  It was a long time coming for you and it's wonderful to know that you are savoring it.

@kleigh1 - You're right, no one will care for your child like you would.  @karlamo is right.  I had a hard time with this too, but then I reminded myself that one of the things that I wanted fo rmy kid(s) was for them to be able to be flexible.  I wanted them to be able to adjust and feel comfortable in lots of different situations.  And this was just the beginning of that.  Not sure if that helps you, but it helped me.

Also, re: being contacted, did you register?  Or did they just find you somehow?  I'm really curious.  We did not register and there's very little out there that would enable someone to make the connection to us, but this still scares me.

@karlamo - look out!  G was crawling at 6mo, walking at 9mo, and climbing at about 9mo + 1 day.  Good luck!

@2brides - Let us know how Gray does with his glasses.  I'm curious to hear if it makes a big difference for him.

Not too much new here.  On Saturday some awesome friends took care of G while we went to the football game.  It was so nice to have some time together, it's been a while.  Also on Saturday morning, G and I did a walk to benefit Ovarian Cancer research.  It really hit home to me that my Mom is a rare case.  She's now a 7-year survivor.  I spent a lot of time thinking about that.  At the time, even though she was very, very sick, it just never entered our thinking that she could die.  In retrospect I realize how incredibly lucky we are to still have her.

Yesterday we spent some great time at the playground, and then lounged around a lot watching football.  It was fun.  And that leads me to ...

QOTD:  FOOTBALL!  I can't help myself, I love it.  Also apple picking, sweatshirts, and the knowledge that Thanksgiving is around the corner. 

KH826

@ball.and.chain – I too smiled reading your update! Sounds like you have had such a great morning. Go you! I am so glad that your little family is finding a groove that works for you and that you are happy. So much awesomeness I can’t even take it!

@KLeigh1 – we aren’t registered either, so we haven’t been contacted by donor sibs’ families. I can’t really give advice, but I would be very curious to hear what you decide to do in terms of replying, etc. Right now, I don’t feel the urge to connect with donor sib families, but I am always interested in hearing the experiences of others for future reference. Good luck!

@karlamo – Do you mind if I ask you about what the EI for R’s torticollis is like? We suspect that Will has mild torticollis as well. We mentioned it at his 2 month pedi appointment, but the dr didn’t seem phased. She said that at that point, if he did have it, then it was super mild and no intervention would be needed at that point. Any insight you are willing to share about your experience with R would be awesome!

@2brides – Sounds like you had a busy weekend! Yay for date night and a picnic! J

@JGY – Lounging around sounds fantastic! Sometimes that is my favorite weekend activity. I occasionally worry that once we have a mobile, active LO that lounging weekends will not be possible and that we will need to have a structured schedule every minute of the day. I don’t know why I think this. Anyway, it is nice to know that someone with an active LO is still able to have a laid back day now and then.

@stingy813 – the penny choking fear would totally be me. I fixate on things like that constantly. My wife is always reminding me how ridiculous I am.

Our highlights include:

**Tummy time is going better! Will is willing to spend more time on his tummy, and rocking his awesome head control before a freak-out ensues. He still seems totally disinterested in rolling. It’s just strange because a few weeks ago it seemed like rolling was imminent, and now it seems like he could care less. What the heck? He rolls to his side plenty, but rolling all the way over seems like a project he has no interest in undertaking right now…

**Will has been such a drooling fool lately. More so with each passing day. We have been giving him teething tablets as needed, and he really like gumming on the frozen teething rings. His poor little gums were so red yesterday. And I have I mentioned how everything goes in his mouth? Literally everything. It’s equal parts cute, gross, hysterical and frustrating.

**We met another 2-Mom family on Saturday! We went to this local kids sale (hand me down clothes, toys, gear, books, etc.), and we met up with this family that my wife had connected with through a local moms’ group on FB. They were super nice. They have a 3 yr old boy. This is a big deal for us b/c none of our IRL gay friends have kids yet. Well not our friends that are our age anyway. We also tend to be “let them come to us” type of people, and it is out of our comfort zone to seek out new friends somewhat aggressively with the purpose of making and maintaining connections. Anyway, this felt like a win.

I feel like I have more to update on, but I can’t remember right now. I might post more later if other people’s posts remind me of things I want to add! J

QOTW: I LOVE Fall! It is absolutely my favorite. I love all things pumpkin. I love cooler weather. I love sweaters. I love when the leaves change. I love apple cider. I love scarves. I love outside walks in breezy Fall weather. I love a good fall breeze with the windows open and a cozy blanket. I love Thanksgiving. I can’t wait for Fall activities with Will. We already have several weekends planned for Fall stuff! J

LolaBelle515

Oh my gosh, you guys.  We've had it fairly easy with teething: some tylenol, some less-sleep nights, nothing crazy.

NOTHING could have prepared us for the last set of molars.  How was my weekend? It was spent on my couch, holding a screaming 2 year old. Or, driving the car, trying to get my screaming 2 year old to sleep. Or in the kitchen, cajoling a screaming 2 year old to drink a milkshake or eat a popsicle.  It was horrific.

Thank God, it was 48 hours where I felt like we had a colicky newborn again (and a good reminder for what's coming in May! )...and then he slept last night and I feel like a new person.  He woke up refreshed, ate soft foods, and asked to go to daycare...so that's where he is, and we're hoping he makes it all day:)

QOTD:  Fall is exciting and chaotic for both of our jobs (teacher and minister), so there's always new life in our house during this time. I love our annual pumpkin picking at the orchard and our trip to the zoo for trick or treating with a bunch of friends with toddlers:)

ATXmommas

@KLeigh1‌ - I think it took me 4 months to get back to pre-pregnancy weight and that was with EBF. I had about 9 lbs to go after my 6 week pp visit. I did fit into most of my work clothes by 3 months pp, but they were tight around the waist. I was still wearing clothes one or two sizes bigger at 8 weeks pp. Point is, be patient. You most likely won't be at your pre-preg weight in another 2 weeks, but it will happen!

I can't remember if this happened before or after last week's checkin, but Ash has started standing by himself! He can even go from a seating to standing position on his own. He tried to take a step over the weekend, but can't quite do it yet. I think it will be soon. It's so funny - even though it's a milestone that all able bodied children will master, it still feels like your child won a gold medal when they accomplish something new. Immense pride!

Ash is eating more and more. His intake of solids had noticeably increased over the past couple weeks. And it is so funny to watch him eat. We gave him noodled for the first time over the weekend and he just slurped them right up! So cute.

Speaking of increasing solids... I really think my child is in the process of weaning. It's very bittersweet. I've always said that I would rather him wean himself than me have to wean him, so it's a good thing. But, also makes me sad. He's less interested in daytime nursing and he's been leaving milk in his bottles at day care. I'm going to play around with reducing them. BTDT moms, any insight on this? I've tried Kellymom, but for the first time, it hasn't helped. I know that as a child approaches one, they eat more solids and decrease milk intake. OTOH, I also know that milk/formula should be the bulk of a child's nutrition until a year. I just have no idea what the balance is. And, my pedi is not much help in this arena. She hasn't proven to be very knowledgeable about BM in the past.

QOTD: Besides football, I think living in the South all my life doesn't pump me up for fall like it does for many of you who actually get to experience cooler weather (before Xmas, that is) and the changing colors. This year I am looking forward to dressing Ash up for Halloween (I'm not usually into Halloween) and his first birthday. Oh, and my trip to Boston (I need to start planning)!

JGY

stringy813 said:

ATXMommas -

I noticed kellymom becoming less helpful as we moved towards a year too.  I think that the bf purists will say that no baby will self wean at that age.  I don't completely buy that.  He could just be SO interested in his new movements that he doesn't want to bother.  Next week he could be completely into it again, or not.  I think that as long as he's still drinking a good amount of bm/formula - and also eating some varied foods, he's going to be just fine. Even in the last few months since M has weaned, we've wondered how much cows milk she's supposed to have. I think that all you can do is offer it as you have been, and offer foods as you have been, and he will take what he needs. (If he had not been developing/growing typically maybe it would be different). If he's only leaving an ounce, I'd keep them at that much, if it is like half the bottle maybe don't waste it.  But if could really change any time (like a few weeks after he masters walking). If he were a few months older you could start mixing w/cows milk (or alternamilk) - but I think you have to wait a bit on that.

Plus there's the whole "breast milk changes as a kid grows" thing. So the same or less bm might still be giving him a whole lot of fats and nutrition.

It has also been challenging as we've moved to the "food as bulk of diet" side of things, that there are days where it literally looks like she eats cheerios, yogurt, and a banana - all day. And I start to worry.  But they say to look at it over the course of a few days or a week, some days they'll eat a ton and others be super picky. So he could be doing that with milk too.

Sorry that was long!

@atxmommas - All of the above.  Stringy is wise.

Things were a bit different for us since G was predominantly bottle-fed (nursed at night), but I think that at Ash's age, as long as you are following the Milk-Before-Food rule, he will tell you what he needs/wants.  And that's always a good thing to check in with daycare on .. are they always offering bottle before solids?  They should be prior to 12 months.

 

JGY

LolaBelle515 said:

Oh my gosh, you guys.  We've had it fairly easy with teething: some tylenol, some less-sleep nights, nothing crazy.

NOTHING could have prepared us for the last set of molars.  How was my weekend? It was spent on my couch, holding a screaming 2 year old. Or, driving the car, trying to get my screaming 2 year old to sleep. Or in the kitchen, cajoling a screaming 2 year old to drink a milkshake or eat a popsicle.  It was horrific.

Thank God, it was 48 hours where I felt like we had a colicky newborn again (and a good reminder for what's coming in May! )...and then he slept last night and I feel like a new person.  He woke up refreshed, ate soft foods, and asked to go to daycare...so that's where he is, and we're hoping he makes it all day:)

Shuddering.  Litterally.  G hasn't gotten his 1-year molars yet.  I live in fear.

JGY

Flygirl1228 said:

We aren't registered on the sibling registry. I'm afraid to meet other donor siblings and family. I don't want to meet up with them and not like them and then feel obligated to be apart of their life because they are "family". I know it's stupid.

I don't think this is stupid at all.  I think it's pretty realistic.  There are so many questions to ask ourselves before we embark on this kind of a relationship.  We need to make sure that if and when we pursue it, it's what we want and what will be best for our family.

For us, we decided that creating these kinds of familial relationships/friendships will be G's choice.  Perhaps if S and I felt like we needed more support or were looking to answer some questions about G's development, we might feel differently.  But as it stands we've decided that this will be his journey, his choice, and his relationships.  So if and when the time comes and we, perhaps, don't feel particularly drawn to some of the sibling families well ... it won't matter too much because the focus will be on HIS relationships with them, not ours.

Having said all of the above, I still admit freely (as I've stated before on this board) that I've silently stalked a number of his half-sibling families who have put themselves out there.  I just won't be making contact or sharing those details with G.  I'd rather he find them on his own.

 

redrockmama

Don't have time for my full check-in but wanted to respond about pp weight and diblings.

I was about 8 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight at 3 weeks pp and hung around there forever, even though I started bring more active then. I finally started dropping a few more the last week or two but am still about 5 over at 11 weeks pp. Hardly any of my clothes fit and I refuse to buy more, I just deal with the muffin top it happens slowly...

I am oddly cry curious about diblings, not sure why. I've Checked the registry, but no one has posted yet. We won't until M is older, at least for now. Sometimes if I read a lesbian parenting blogs and see babies that look like M, I wonder if they used the same donor, I also wonder if anyone here has and think it would be equal parts cool and weird.

Off to get M's 2 month vaccines finally, hoping for the best.

ATXmommas

@stringy813‌ & @JGY - thank you! I just think he's at the beginning of the weaning process, I don't think he's ready to completely wean. Typically, he leaves about an ounce in one or both of his afternoon bottles, but he left about half the bottle once last week. I think we are going to try one 3.5 ounce bottle for his first of the day and then two 3 ounce bottles - our old routine was to send three 3.5 ounce bottles. I did read that milk becomes fattier the longer you breastfeed.

Day care does give him bottles before food, but they space it out a bit. So, he might get his solids an hour or two after his bottle - I'll have to pay closer attention to that. Do you think the bottle and food should be closer together? Also, a couple times last week I gave him dinner without nursing because he stopped seeming interested in his 6pm nursing, but I'll go back to nursing first.

This info from The Timeline of a Breastfed Baby helps (but doesn't help me my questions about amounts):

9 Months
Some babies display waning interest in the breast around now. This may be due to altered taste brought about by hormonal changes during your menstrual period (if it has returned yet) or a temporary loss of appetite due to a cold or teething. Gentle perseverance is recommended. Try nursing in peaceful surroundings or when your baby is sleepy. If all else fails, pump milk to give to your baby in a cup whilst continuing to offer the breast. (My note: no period yet and he's not sick or teething right now)
Your baby should still be having 4-5 breastfeeds per day (Fredregill 2004). (My note: he gets minimum 6 feedings)

Around now, your baby may be mastering the use of a beaker, which could lead to further loss of interest in nursing.

Once she is regularly eating and drinking at mealtimes, your baby may decide to skip some breastfeeds altogether, turning away when she's offered the breast. All you need to do is respond to her cues, just as you have until now. Even if you notice a fairly consistent drop in breastfeeding, it may not be a permanent change. It's common for babies to go back to breastfeeding for short periods, especially when they are teething or fighting off an infection. They may want nothing but breastmilk for a week or two, then switch back to eating solid foods and taking less milk. Your breasts will adapt within a day or two - even if your milk production has already gone down.

ATXmommas

@sarahtrpt‌ - we do BLW. He gagged a bit in the beginning, but never choked. We were very laid back about it. We put the food there and he ate what he wanted and we didn't worry about it if he didn't. He definitely became more interested the older he got and is total pro now. BLW has been great for us, but I have a friend who tried BLW and it turns out her baby just prefers purées to solids.

mwagner25

Hello all, 

 We are doing well here. Actually finding some time on a Monday to check in. Oliver had his surgery last week and it went well. It was super rough for us, but he did great. Thankfully I was able to get him asleep for his morning nap in pre-op holding so he was asleep when they wheeled him to the OR which was a huge relief. The anesthesiologist was great and carried him from the OR to the recovery room, bc he thought he needed some snuggles. I went to the recovery room right away and just let him nurse and sleep off the meds. He didn't need much pain medicine after the procedure and was back to his normal self the next day. 

 We had a fun weekend, we went apple picking, to an art fair, and browsing some small shops around town. We really just enjoyed family time.

What else? Oh, I decided to stop pumping.  I can't stand my pump any longer.   It has this repetitive noise to it while it pumps and I swear is says "wacko, wacko" over and over again.  I have already cut Oliver down to nursing only at night and in the morning.  I am going to use our freezer stash for morning and night feeds that I miss due to work and we shall see whether my supply holds for nursing only once or twice every 24 hours.  I am just done with the pumping and eight little sharp teeth doesn't make for comfortable, enjoyable nursing anymore.  

That's all I have for now.  Hopefully I will get back on later to reply to some others.  

ball.and.chain

@herbabymama‌ , I have seen reusable squeeze pouches that you can put your own purées in...maybe C would like those?

KH826

ball.and.chain said:

@herbabymama‌ , I have seen reusable squeeze pouches that you can put your own purées in...maybe C would like those?

I have too - I have a friend that uses them. I will ask her where she gets them!

Karlamo

@KH826‌. Our pedi was the same way. He said its mild and that we needed to make sure half of R awake time was on his belly! Seriously? I couldn't get him to do 5 min on his tummy.
The great thing about EI is that it can be self referral. I just called our local agency and had an appt made. It was by far my quickest/ easiest medical referral process. They can evaluate on 2 things: skills development and clinical dx. I knew he wasn't lagging in his age appropriate skills so he wouldn't qualify based on those results. But they qualified him based on clinical judgment. His case is mild but if can be corrected I want it to. He gets 6 months of in home PT then reevaluated.
When my wife brought R to his 6 month appt she told our pedi about EI and he said good that he was thinking that R was going to need a helmet but he was "giving it more time" to correct itself. I'm annoyed. We have been concerned since literally day 2 of his life. All that matters now is we trusted our mommy instincts and he's getting help.
It's def worth a call for a eval. They do it in your home for 2 hours.

KH826

Karlamo said:

@KH826‌. Our pedi was the same way. He said its mild and that we needed to make sure half of R awake time was on his belly! Seriously? I couldn't get him to do 5 min on his tummy. The great thing about EI is that it can be self referral. I just called our local agency and had an appt made. It was by far my quickest/ easiest medical referral process. They can evaluate on 2 things: skills development and clinical dx. I knew he wasn't lagging in his age appropriate skills so he wouldn't qualify based on those results. But they qualified him based on clinical judgment. His case is mild but if can be corrected I want it to. He gets 6 months of in home PT then reevaluated. When my wife brought R to his 6 month appt she told our pedi about EI and he said good that he was thinking that R was going to need a helmet but he was "giving it more time" to correct itself. I'm annoyed. We have been concerned since literally day 2 of his life. All that matters now is we trusted our mommy instincts and he's getting help. It's def worth a call for a eval. They do it in your home for 2 hours.

I am definitely going to talk to my wife about this tonight! Thank you for this info!

LolaBelle515

@JGY, so many people told us that what we experienced (are experiencing?) is extreme...there's a good chance you'll never experience anything this horrid!

ATXmommas

@mwagner25‌ - totally with you about the pumping and your pumping situation is far less ideal than mine. I had a fleeting thought last week to give it up, but I'm trying to make it to a year. Blah. I am definitely sick of it, though.

@herbabymama‌ - I'm so sorry to hear about K's dad. I'm so glad he had a chance to meet C.

To both of you - I never had a problem with biting until Ash got his top teeth. Ouch! It's not all the time and he hasn't broken the skin, but definitely not fun!

JGY

@herbabymama - I've been thinking about you guys a lot and wondering where you were.  Now that you mention it again, I do remember you posting about K's Dad and I am just so so sad and sorry for your family.  It's an awful thing to lose one's parent.  Sending lots of love your way!

Also, unrelated, I use the re-usable squishy packs with G and we love them.  I got them on mamabargains.com which no longer exists, but it looks like there are tons of choices on amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_16?url=search-alias%3Dbaby-products&field-keywords=reusable+squeeze+pouch&sprefix=reusable+squeeze%2Caps%2C175&rh=n%3A165796011%2Ck%3Areusable+squeeze+pouch&ajr=0

G is well beyond the puree point, but they're super handy in the car when I don't want to make a mess or if I'm unsure about the food options when we're out and about.

 

Jazibel

Ok I'm going to jump in and post even though I'm only 1/2 done reading everyone's updates. :-)

@Lolabelle515 - the molars are the WORST - been there, hope never to return (well not for another 2 years).

We have been so crazy busy it's been a little ridiculous. The weekend was great though. I took Owen with me to the house we're trying to rent out, I wore him on my back or had him in the stroller as I held the open house. He did great and it was really nice to have some real one on one time with my little guy.  It amazes me every day how MUCH I love him. I've written this before, but seriously after having Kaden and just adoring him so much I never thought I could love another LO as much. Well I'm totally smitten with Owen, he's so different than Kaden in great and wonderful ways.  Sigh. I love being a mom.

On Sunday we went back up as a whole family for open house #2, and then drove out to the Sonoma coast. It was a beautiful day at the beach. Kaden had a great time watching the seagulls eat our sweet potato fries.

I'm getting closer and closer to going back to work (well I hope at least). Anyway the childcare posts have been eye-opening and terrifying all the same. @JGY I loved what you said about our kids learning new experiences. That idea really resonates with me, and I hope will make this process that much easier.  I'm ready to cross that bridge when we get there, but the fear of leaving my kids is so strong. I had a panel interview via conference call this morning and I seriously have to talk myself through not freaking out about rejoining the workforce. I don't want any hesitation to color the interview.

Anyway... I hope to finish the posts soon, but my kiddos won't nap and its getting late. Plus I have to make e dozen cupcakes for a work birthday for EV's boss tomorrow.  Well EV might do most of the work - we'll see.

2momsinCA

@ball.and.chain please add me to the parenting roster- twin boys B&O born 5/27/2014. My wife is K.

@atxmommas Go Ash with standing on his own! And I can understand the bittersweet feeling of weaning. I'm not looking forward to it.

@kh826 we also tend to be the "let them come to us" types with new friends too. We do to have any other lesbian mommy friends IRL, but I wish we did. We have plenty of straight friends with kids though, but it isn't the same.

Life is still totally revolving around feeding and baby care. Neither of us are working so our whole world is basically wearing, holding, immediately attending if they fuss and (for me) pumping/breast feeding. The boys have started sleeping for 5 hour stretches more routinely at night, but not every night. Last night O slept for 6 hours after being awake for about 6 hours doing what we call "milk monster" when all he wants to do is breast feed. The cluster feeds in the evening can be crazy between the two of them but it usually is followed by a nice longer sleep duration. They also have started to be adorably interactive during their (non milk monster) awake times. Their cooing sounds and ability to have fleeting attention to toys is wonderful. Their smiles are even emerging, but not quite consistent for sure. It's just so awesome when they make eye contact and a smile spread across their faces even if only very briefly.

QOTD: we love fall! Football, fall color (which we do not get here in so cal) but I love nonetheless, the crisp air, Halloween, wearing sweaters, etc. @ball.and.chain‌ your description of cider making is so wonderful!

ATXmommas

Regarding child care - I had a hard time at first. But, I think having Ash in a group day care setting is amazing. He loves his teacher and it is completely adorable to watch him interact with other children. I think that Ash gains a lot by being there that he wouldn't have if one of us stayed home with him. The opposite is true too, of course - we're missing out on certain things by not being home with him. Pros and cons to all scenarios, I think.

When Ash first started day care, I was really worried about them tending to him quickly when he cried. What I learned is that centers often have smaller babies in rooms with slightly older children (who tend to be less fussy and cry less) so that they can tend to the younger ones more quickly.

I know nothing I say can take away the uneasy feeling of leaving your child for the first time, but I'm really happy with the care Ash is receiving. Just wanted to offer up that perspective!

Jazibel

Thanks @Atxmommas - I really appreciate your perspective. It's great to hear the positives too.

herbunmyoven

ATXmommas M started to lose interest in daytime nursing around 9 or 10 months. He still nurses during the day if he is hurt, scared, or super needy. If not he has way too much world to explore to be slowed down. That being said, at 14 months he still nurses a ton at night. He will go to sleep with out it if A isn’t around, but he will get pissed off and try to get to his milkies if she is here. We are down to 1 MOTN wakeup which is pushing later and later (last week we were going from 8pm-6am) but if he nurses when he wakes up he will go right back to sleep for another hour or two. I don’t think Ash is going to wean next week or anything. We also tried BLW and making our own baby food, and M was having none of it. He would shove a bunch of food in his mouth and couldn’t figure out how to swallow, so he was always almost choking…it was terrifying. We switched him to pouches so he could do-it-himself. Now he eats everything including a few pouches a day.

@Lolabelle515 I can’t imagine molars…M is a late teeth bloomer and only has 6 so far. He teethes in bulk and each time has been a nightmare.

@Jazibel my wife is a SAHM and we are both worried that M will be at a disadvantage because he is not in daycare. We have him in activities like story time and baby gym, but it is not the same socialization you get from fending for yourself all day. We are worried that if we do mainstream school he will be behind his peers. I feel like everyone secretly feels like they are not doing the right thing when it comes to childcare, and I am sure you will make the best decision for your family.

Okay…about us…M is sick for the second time ever. This was our first experience with full-fledged throwing up (post the baby spit up phase). We had multiple rounds of strip the crib and everything everyone was wearing last night. He was just so pathetic and it hurt my heart that I couldn’t make him feel better. I started back at school tonight. There are 4 months and 2 big papers/presentations between me and my Masters degree, but man does being gone from 7am to 10pm suck for the whole family. 

 Back on the topic of childcare for a second…we need to find a sitter who is available on short notice for my ET. We are at a total loss. If the ET was on a weekend we would be fine, but it won’t be. We don’t have local family and everyone I would trust to watch M works with me. Do you guys have any suggestions?

I’ve gotta say- having all of the check-ins on one day is overwhelming if you are in multiple buckets and late to the party! I read every post on TTC and Parenting, but I feel like I haven’t been able to respond and support enough people. I actually started a word document to help keep everyone straight I love you all…even if I can’t get my taggy things to work.

ATXmommas

@herbunmyoven‌ - thank you for sharing your experience with M. Yes, it's definitely the daytime nursing he is losing interest in. I'm MON nursing right now! My plan is to continue nursing Ash in the morning and night up to about 18 months if he's still interested. I'm glad that he don't be weaning any time soon, but this day time stuff is throwing me off! Your experience helps. As far as child care - do you have any friends who can recommend someone?

KH826

@herbabymama - I love your description of what you would like for your ET (with K and C both watching)! I have thought about this too already. We plan to do an FET next Summer. Unfortunately, ETs are not done in my RE's office. There is a surgery center on another floor of the same building that my RE's office is in that handles ER and ET procedures. I am pretty sure they won't let us take a baby with us back into the procedure room there where they do the ET. I would love if they would, but I doubt it. When it gets closer we are going to have to give this more thought. Ideally we would like to avoid telling family that we are TTC#2, and wait until we are pregnant to let them know. We have plenty of time to worry about this and figure it out, but it is already on my mind. I might bring it up to my RE in the spring when we go for our consult before getting ready for the FET and see what she says. Maybe a nurse would be willing to sit with our LO in the waiting room for 5 mins. while we have the FET, and then my wife can go back out to get him after...

I'm nuts for already thinking about this... HAHA!

herbunmyoven

@KH826 & @herbabymomma I agree that the ET is a pretty easy process, but our surgical center has a pretty strict no kid policy. They are not even welcome in the waiting room. M is totally welcome at the RE and went to our "kickoff" appointment, but he is not allowed to be at the ET. 

We don't want to tell family yet, especially because no one has any idea that I was ever going to try. I am only trying 1 or 2 times and I don't want my family to know it was even a possibility if it doesn't happen for me and we switch back to A. Also they are far enough away that a mid-week trip is unrealistic. 

I feel like it will be easier to start finding someone when I know for sure when the ET will be. I am not super comfortable with the online-find-a-sitter websites, but I feel like every local adult we know works 9-5. 

2MamazInSeattle

I'm a day late! I read everyone's everything. I love the parenting thread!

Lots of developments this week for us. First, as you all saw in my other post - Simone's genetic testing came back as a normal 46, XX female - no trisomy X which was the best news EVER. I called and talked to the genetic counselor at our MFM clinic and she said "Well, the cell free DNA test is just a screening..." to which I kindly replied, "I understand, but when you say over and over that it's 99% accurate, it is something that people will take stock in." She was nice and of course thrilled for us. This is the third false positive I personally know of. I still think these tests are valuable and I would have rather known than not known had it been true - but obviously a lot of needless worry. I've had a few days now and I've been so overjoyed to rethink Simone's path - like "yes, we can start a college fund!" and "oh, I guess we could've named her Louise after all" (we were worried w/potential speech issues she wouldn't be able to pronounce her "L"'s) but of course she is 100% Simone to us now. Etc. The best is just knowing she's on an even playing field with the rest of her peers - not that she won't have challenges, we all do - but so nice to know hers aren't a given, just a possibility like the rest of us. Phew. and Phew. And more Phew.

Thanks for all the love and support and comments on my other thread in regard to this. I read them all to J and she was really touched too.

Well all that good news has made the fact that, as it turns out, my milk supply is total crap, easier to digest. We learned at her 2 week appointment she was still nearly a pound under birth weight when she should be back to it or close by now. I took immediate measures to increase my supply after going to a lactation group and learning she is only getting about 1 oz. off of me in a standard 35-40 minute feed. Sigh. I am eating lactation oatmeal for breakfast, lactation cookies, added fenugreek and a ton more water, plus feeding more often (she was happy every 3 hours...now aiming more for every 2ish either feeding her or pumping). Meanwhile, after attending a second lactation group and weighing her yesterday, and still she'd only gained  1/2 an ounce... we began supplementing with formula yesterday afternoon. While I was crushed on some level, she gobbled it down in a way that tells me she obviously needed more food, and we want a good fat michelan man baby, so it was the right thing. I'm supplying around 8-10 oz, and we are supplementing about the same - so 50/50 right now. And I'll get her weight on Friday again and see how we do.

The good news? J can help feed! I'm still combining pumped milk in most bottles! And, best of all, she still feeds like a champ at the breast!! Even though it's not always super fun, I love the physical connection of feeding her, watching her eat at the breast, her sweet little face and the warmth of her close to me like that. So all these things said, it's ok by me that this is our path of the moment. I hope to increase supply but I don't see doubling it really... though I guess you never know. She does seem to be struggling more to poop with the formula, so we'll see how that goes. And the Dr. Brown glass bottle is our winner - they work great and J loves that they aren't plastic (though she eats cold formula/breastmilk).

She'll be three weeks on Thursday and I can barely remember life without her! Loving the mommy job.

Karlamo

herbunmyoven said:

@KH826 & @herbabymomma I agree that the ET is a pretty easy process, but our surgical center has a pretty strict no kid policy. They are not even welcome in the waiting room. M is totally welcome at the RE and went to our "kickoff" appointment, but he is not allowed to be at the ET. 

We don't want to tell family yet, especially because no one has any idea that I was ever going to try. I am only trying 1 or 2 times and I don't want my family to know it was even a possibility if it doesn't happen for me and we switch back to A. Also they are far enough away that a mid-week trip is unrealistic. 

I feel like it will be easier to start finding someone when I know for sure when the ET will be. I am not super comfortable with the online-find-a-sitter websites, but I feel like every local adult we know works 9-5. 

This is almost exactly where we are at too. I'm going to be the next one to carry. I'm wondering how the heck I'll be able to do monitoring appts plus the ET with R. I'm home with him 2 days/week. When my wife carried, I went to every appt with her. I want her there with me for mine but with a 6 month old it's a whole new ball game. We've are thinking we might need to send him to dc on that day, but if it's a weekend then who knows what we'll do.
I have my u/s soon then I'll be able to plan once we have the FET calendar in hand. The logistics are just as stressful as the actual success of the FET.

Good luck!!

redrockmama

@herbabymama I'm so sorry to hear about K's dad. Sending hugs your way. 

Finally time to do my check-in while I pump at work. 

M had his 2 month vaccines yesterday, J cried and made me hold him. He hated it, but bounced back pretty well. They gave him some tylenol and he was a trooper while we drove around trying to find some stuff to fix our diapers and I had an orientation for a part time gig I am going to start. 

He is doing great, he is still in the 2nd percentile on the growth curve, it's weird to think he's little, he seems so big to me because he is growing so fast. We bought some disposable diapers while we fix whatever happened to our cloth and its shocking how tiny his bum is w/out the big fluffy bum haha. He is loving having my sister watch him. My niece adores him and runs over to his car seat and starts pushing the button to unbuckle him as soon as we get there. She is 17 months old. He loves to watch her run around and be a toddler. My sister says he is doing well too and is eating and sleeping well and all smiles in between. It's a lot less anxiety provoking to leave him with her. 

He hates tummy time, we've only tried it a couple of times. He's super strong so I'm not worried about getting in a certain amount every day, I figure he'll do what he needs to when he is ready. He is doing a lot better since I've been dairy free so I tested it this weekend and sure enough we were back to a fussy green poop baby quickly, so dairy free for me for a while. He is smiling all the time and trying so hard to laugh. He is also trying to stand on his legs while we hold him. He copies us by clicking his tongue and tries really hard to say "la la la la" I think his eyes might be starting to change colors. Sometimes they look more brownish and other times they still look pretty blue. When did eyes change for y'all that have green/brown/hazel eyed babes? I did a thing online when I was pregnant with my info and the donors and there is only a 5% chance for blue, 50 something for brown, and 20 something for green and hazel each.

Pumping is a challenge. Not actually doing it, I have my own office and could pump all day if I really wanted to. The volunteer I mentioned in another thread is the only one to walk in on me yet She was really embarrassed. Last week I hardly pumped anything, by friday I only got 7 oz after 3 pumping sessions. I was really worried and stressed all weekend, especially since everything in the freezer has dairy in it. I made some lactation cookies and have been eating oatmeal and drinking water like it's going out of style and I got 4 oz my first pump today and about 3 so far right now, yay! He's eating 3 oz bottles, so this relieves my stress a little. 

Well that's about it I think. 

KH826

Finally popping back in with a few things I have wanted to say...

@herbabymama - I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of K's Dad. That has got to be really difficult, especially given how close she was to him. It is wonderful that he got to meet your baby C though. Thinking of your family and sending support to all of you!

@2mamazinseattle - I can TOTALLY relate to your supply issues. I think mine were even worse than yours, but the way the issues presented were very similar. The difference for me was that Will was already on formula from day1 since that is what he was given in the NICU to bring his sugar up, so we did not have the issue with him not gaining weight. Also, because of that I was pumping from day1, and the reason that I knew about the issues so early on was perhaps because I could see what my total output was because I was pretty much exclusively pumping. I would get only about an ounce (maybeeeee 1.5 ozs on a good day) after 30 mins of pumping. After trying all the tricks and meeting with several lactation consultants it was suggested that the only other option they could offer me was Domepridone (as @jrtmom suggested). At this point, I was pumping every 2 hours round-the-clock and sometimes getting 1/2 oz or less, plus I had a newborn baby, and even though he was sleeping I was not b/c I was pumping like a mad woman. AND he wouldn't take the breast at all b/c he was frustrated by not getting anything from me, and was just content with the formula he was used to. Anyway, while there are definite differences in our experiences (namely that you have an established BF relationship with Simone, and she will take the breast even if it isn't enough at the moment to satisfy her exclusively), I can still draw a lot of parallels between our experiences. It also helps me to keep in mind that even if Will hadn't been in the NICU and on formula from the beginning, I likely would have had these supply issues anyway -- they just might have manifested later/differently.

At any rate, the point of all that is 1) I think you are doing the right thing to supplement, and I hope that you are able to retain your BFing relationship even if it isn't exclusive for as long as you want it; 2) I know how hard all of this nonsense is, and I just want to offer as much support as I can; and 3) You are awesome. Keep on being awesome. Sometimes the things we never plan to do end up being the best things for everyone involved. Good job Mama!

@redrockmama - I am soooo glad to hear that having your sister watch M is such a better situation for all of you, even if it is a temp solution! I hope you are able to transition to SAHM-hood if that is what you really want and what will work best for your family. I am grateful everyday that my wife is able to be a SAHM and that she and Will both are loving it so much. It is definitely what is best for our little family, and I am just so glad that so far it is working out just fine for us. I hope you are able to get there as well!

2MamazInSeattle

@KH826, thanks for the kind words and support! I know our situations are not exact but I do see the parallels. @jrtmom ditto! I'm looking into finding someone who will give me an RX for the domperidone, and trying a few other recommended measures. I will keep at it as she does love the breast, thankfully, so whatever I can give her I will!

ATXmommas

@2MamazInSeattle‌ - different situation for me too, but I too understand the pressure and disappointment of supply issues. Was Simone also evaluated for any transfer issues, such as lip or tongue tie? Either way, you are doing wonderfully and I know you will always do what is best for Simone! This stuff can be so stressful, so please take care of yourself - I think it's great that you are already finding ways to do that by getting your hair and toes done! Lots of support headed your way!

Jazibel

@Flygirl1228‌ - I mobile bump too so I'm in your boat because I don't see the tickers. I'd be open to including a header on my main check-in.

JGY

@2MamazinSeattle - you're in such good company on this board when it comes to supply struggles.  Ugh.  For the record, I took Reglan and I do think it gave my supply a bit of a permanent boost.  But it was so hard to tell because there was so much going on and changing at the time. 

Have you had your thyroid levels checked?  That was one thing that my LC/Ped wanted to check out as a possible reason for supply issues.  Also, G has a lip tie.  I still often wonder if things would have gone differently for us if that had been identified earlier and if we had gone ahead and had it clipped.

I do want you to know that even though the process totally sucked, and I really hated pumping (but hated supplementing more, which I had to do right up until the very end), I totally cherish the fact that I am still able to nurse G at night before bed.  And I love that I still have that tool available to me when I need to soothe/comfort/calm him.  I was up with him most of last night because he had a bad cough and I kept wondering what on earth I would have done if I he had already weaned completely.  In reality I know that we develop other tools and other ways to comfort our kiddos.  But I was grateful nonetheless.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are a number of other things that you can enjoy from a breastfeeding relationship, even if your baby doesn't get the bulk of their nutrition that way.  And while I realize that for some it's not possible/practical or desired to continue on, for others it can be a really great experience if you do want to continue (even if it doesn't look exactly like what you had planned or hoped for).

I hope some of that made sense.  And I also truly hope that no one thinks I'm speaking negatively about those who have made different choices than the ones that I have made.  I can only speak to my own experience, but I hope that experience can be of value to someone else.  And really, I think that's what many of us come here for; to get access to the breadth of experiences of those on this board and to feel the support that we gain through that. 

Things would be awfully boring if we all did everything the same way.