TTC Check-In (Sept 8th)

channe9

How is your/your partner's TTC journey progressing? 
*Reminder - If you have a BFP to announce, please do so by creating a new thread for everyone on the board to see. Thank you*

QOTW: Do you collect anything? If so, what?  

channe9

Hi all! Oy... I started this thread early today partly because I need to get the recent TTC angst off my chest. 

This past week has been an epic rollercoaster. I know that I shouldn't symptom spot but it was getting harder what with my sore breasts--they hadn't felt like that since puberty when they were growing! In addition, my CF wasn't following its normal pattern AND I was completely unhinged in a way that I only remember being the very first month that I took birth control pills, the kind that fool your body into thinking you're pregnant. (My poor wife told me yesterday, "I was certain you were pregnant because you are never mean or short with me but this last week you haven't been yourself.") On top of that, there were cramps different to AF and starting earlier. These were cramps I couldn't ignore -- I've been clutching my left side. 

And yet... pinkish discharge with one dot of blood early Saturday (12dpo) and my regular brown pre-period CF that evening. Brown is increasing and I've had three BFNs at 11dpo, 13dpo, and (today) 14dpo. So I'm still waiting for AF to show up full force but I should probably call it BFN all the same. I should stop the googling for a few days but I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't considered EVERYTHING (slow to turn BFP with spotting, ectopic, ovarian cysts, etc.) given all these symptoms that I never get. 

Wife has contacted the clinic to set up an IUI in-take appointment for tomorrow... so on to the next way of trying.  

QOTW: I used to collect old toys but when I moved out of the country I left most of my collection behind. Nowadays I inadvertently collect craft supplies. My fabric and paints and yarn and beads are spilling out of their original containers and threatening to take over the spare room! 

Karlamo

@megd893‌ and @channe9‌, sorry for the bfn. It's almost impossible not to read into symptoms when you're in the TWW.

I apparently can't count past 25. I thought I'd get my period Friday on day 32 but when it didn't come I recounted and realized I should be getting it tomorrow. I'm anxious to start so that we can call the RE to get day 3 blood work going an a u/s.

QOTW: I don't collect anything but we started collecting onsie's and the good night books of places R has traveled to. We're building a nice collection so far.

JGY

@megd893 - Good luck this cycle.  9DPO is still pretty early to test.  I remember getting a BFN at 10DPO, then a positive on 12DPO.

@channe9 - I had one of those cycles as well.  I'm still pretty convinced that there was SOMETHING out of the norm going on.  I'm sorry.  TTC can be so confusing (and all-consuming)!

@karlamo - Wow, this is coming up so fast!  Good luck.

 

Speaking of coming up fast, I have the consult with our RE today.  I scheduled it a while back, knowing how long it can take to get in to the clinic.  I figured we would have been closer to making a decision by now, but we're still totally undecided.  Anyway, it won't hurt for us to have all of our ducks in a row to be able to pull the trigger if and when we're ready to go.

Also, I'm in the middle of another totally predictable cycle (yay!).  Ovulated and ready to go.  The one thing that's different now than before we had Mr. G, is that on the day I ovulate and the day prior, I feel REALLY tight in my abdomen.  I feel like my ovaries are just bursting with eggs and it must look like a salad shooter in there.  I have absolutely no idea if that's the actual case or not, but it makes me very concerned.  We could not handle multiples.  Like, not even close.  Money wise, space wise, energy wise, there's just no way.  I was thinking that if and when we were ready to pull the trigger, we'd try with no monitoring again like last time.  But with these concerns I'm thinking an ultrasound or two might be a good idea.  Anyone have any thoughts on that?

QOTW:  I don't really collect anything specific, like actively going out and acquiring new pieces foo a collection.  But more that I just don't throw anything out.  And most of the things I have are old, antique-ish, inherited from family and friends.  This includes furniture, pottery, art .. you name it.  Frustration #1 for my wife. 

 

bfonz619

Good morning!  I hope everyone had a great weekend!

We are 5 DPO in our AI journey on our first cycle and I am shocked at how in tune I am with my body during this process.  I too and am trying not to read into every little cramp or boob pain that feels different, and also trying my best not to constantly research everything I am going through online.  We have agreed to wait until after I miss my period to test, so likely 14 DPO, but I am finding it difficult to avoid wanting to move up this timeline.  I have my mind set on not testing outside of our plan and while the thought is enticing, I will hold off.  

Good luck to you all!

herbunmyoven

I am on CD 13. I had a lining check on Saturday and my follicles were still tiny so I have another check with blood work tomorrow. This cycle has been so stressful because of the place we have the ET done is closing for 10 days. Now if I don't ovulate by Saturday I will be canceled. It seems like I have a pretty solid 30 day cycle which would mean ovulation on Thursdayish so we should be okay. 

I got my "drugs" this week (just a trigger shot and Cirnone) but it made this whole process start to feel more real.

I need to figure out how to do a signature...I am doing a natural FET with my partner's embryo this is our first try with my body. We already have a 14 month old son. 

StacyLH24

@megd893 - 9dpiui can definitely be too early for a BFP if one is on the way for you.  

@channe9 - I'm sorry that it's looking like a BFN.  That is always disappointing, among other feelings.

@Karlamo - How exciting that it's almost time to get the ball rolling for #2.  

@JGY - Maybe your RE visit will help you both move one direction or the other in deciding whether it's time to start again.  Ask for some monitoring if you're concerned - it can't hurt.

@TwoMomsinTX - I'm so sorry that things keep getting pushed back.  I know you've had a frustrating journey full of waiting.  I hope you can be a successful advocate for yourself and that they will listen to you.  

@stringy813 - I'm sorry for your BFN.

@CrazyAunt84 - I hear ya on the drive and the lack of excitement in this journey.  I hope that IUI #3 will be your last and will bring you your healthy take home baby.  

@sdfonz619 - Good luck on not testing.  I could never hold out.  I would have saved a lot of money on pregnancy tests if I had though.

@herbunmyoven - I hope the timing works out for you.  

StacyLH24

Whew...there are a lot of new posters around.  I second @CrazyAunt84's suggestion for folks to add signatures.  It really is helpful.  

For the new folks, I've been hanging out in the TTC Check In for over a year now.  Maybe I like it here too much and that's why I've not moved on?  All the details are in my signature...kind of long I suppose.  I never thought I'd be one of the folks with lengthy signatures, but, well, there it is - and that's even the abridged version!  I took a break after IVF #1 failed and am just coming back around.  Truthfully, I'm doing so because if FET #1 happens to be a success, I don't want to just come back and post a BFP on the board after having been gone for a while.  Folks are more than welcome to do that, but it just doesn't sit right with me for me to do that.  

Anyway - I'm prepping for FET #1.  My second monitoring and bloodwork is tomorrow - oh the joy...  Tonight is my last Lupron shot (no side effects!) and I've been on Estradiol for over a week.  FET #1 is scheduled for next Wednesday, 9/17.  We have two blasts - if both survive the thaw, both will be transferred.  

I'm mostly over this whole process, which is part of the reason why I took a break.  C and I both want to have a child, or maybe even 2, but our journey has gotten us down.  It sucks, it is heartbreaking and really not fair in my personal opinion.  

QOTW:  I used to collect Precious Moment figurines.  I don't really collect much anymore, but I do like the little figure things that are animals made out of vegetables.  

Himee33

Still nothing too exciting around here. Taking my daily BCP. My last pill will be on Sept. 14th. 

I received my medication shipment last Friday. Lupron, PIO, Medrol and Estrace. The assistant at the RE never asks what medication I have before she places the order. I still have Lupron, Menopur and a couple bottles of PIO from last cycle. I will be starting 10 units of Lupron nightly on Sept. 10th.  Blood and ultrasound still scheduled for Sept. 15th. 

QOTW: L and I also collect Christmas ornaments from the places we travel along with magnets. 

@megd893 Still might be early!

@Channe9 So sorry it's looking like a BFN

@stringy813 Sorry about your BFN

@CrazyAunt84 Crossing my fingers for success on IUI #3!

@StacyLH24 Welcome back! I know you needed the break. You have been missed! I will be crossing my fingers and thinking about you guys for your upcoming FET. 

bfonz619

StacyLH24 said:

@megd893 - 9dpiui can definitely be too early for a BFP if one is on the way for you.  

@channe9 - I'm sorry that it's looking like a BFN.  That is always disappointing, among other feelings.

@Karlamo - How exciting that it's almost time to get the ball rolling for #2.  

@JGY - Maybe your RE visit will help you both move one direction or the other in deciding whether it's time to start again.  Ask for some monitoring if you're concerned - it can't hurt.

@TwoMomsinTX - I'm so sorry that things keep getting pushed back.  I know you've had a frustrating journey full of waiting.  I hope you can be a successful advocate for yourself and that they will listen to you.  

@stringy813 - I'm sorry for your BFN.

@CrazyAunt84 - I hear ya on the drive and the lack of excitement in this journey.  I hope that IUI #3 will be your last and will bring you your healthy take home baby.  

@sdfonz619 - Good luck on not testing.  I could never hold out.  I would have saved a lot of money on pregnancy tests if I had though.

@herbunmyoven - I hope the timing works out for you.  

Thanks!  We only bought two FRER's and we have them put away. 

CrazyAunt84 said:

@sdfonz619 - I've only POAS one time in 6 cycles. It's totally possible to hold out if that's what you and your partner choose! Good luck!

(Warning - there's also some pee pushers in the crowd. Good luck there too )

Thanks for the warning!  Since we discussed and set a testing date I feel like it is a little less on my mind but 13 days seems like a long time. 

mallory4284

It's good to see so many updates this week! Good luck to everyone and sorry for the (potential) BFNs for the few that got them....

For anyone new, I'm on my second month of tracking before our second at home ICI. I'll try to do a signature later tonight with all my info.... I'm primarily mobile so I haven't done one yet. At this point, I'm not even sure I could remember the details of everything we've gone through in the past couple of years!!

For this week, I'm just waiting for an ovulation date from FF. I'm on CD15 today. I got a positive OPK on CD12 (Friday), but my temps kind of reflect a CD14 ovulation. I meant to continue with OPKs for a couple days after my first positive but we were busy Saturday so I wasn't able to. I was happy to see that I (potentially) ovulated only a day different than last month. That will make it easier when we do our insemination next month....

At this point, I'm thinking of doing it on CD11, 12, and 13 next month. (Hoping I can talk J into three vials. If she's not comfortable with that, I'll probably go for CD12 and 13. Of course I'll still be doing OPKs and looking for other signs of ovulation so our days will also be based on that....

JGY

Well I just got back from my visit with the RE.  It's pretty funny, he's just about the most opposite person from me in terms of our philosophies on birth and most things medical.  However his ability to listen and respect my wishes is unmatched, and I really trust him.  I value that kind of relationship.

He suggested a number of things, even though I would like to start with a natural cycle again this time (all of this is just in theory at this point, I have to keep reminding myself of that).  So I had a bunch of bloodwork done today, and will likely schedule another HSG and a Saline Sonogram (to rule out recurrent fibroids).  And after that, I just wait until we make a decision.

It feels good to be doing something about this, even if in the end we choose not to TTC again.

Thanks for listening everyone!

 

JGY

@mallory4284 - Just as an FYI, most medical professionals have told me that they have not seen any evidence of better outcome with increased numbers of inseminations in a given cycle.  They have always told me that the best strategy is to focus on one, well-timed insemination.

That being said, our first two cycles we did 2 IUIs each.  I actually ended up being more comfortable with a single as I became more knowledgable about my cycle and my timing.

Not trying to be a buzzkill at all, or doubt you, I just know how much those little swimmers cost and I would encourage you to evaluate if you want to spend that $$ or not, knowing (or, rather, just hearing from me - NOT a medical professional, so take that for what you will) that it likely won't increase the odds  ...

Good luck, I'm pulling for you!

 

 

Himee33

@JGY That's great you have such a good relationship with your RE. I've heard some not so great stories about other REs and I'm thankful I have such an awesome relationship with ours and I trust her 110%. 

@mallory4284 When we first met with our RE, I asked about back to back IUIs and she told us she didn't like to do them. She said they may increase your chances but only by like 2%. That information plus the $735 we paid per vial was the reason we decided not to. Now after 3 failed IUIs and finding out my chances of getting pregnant with an IUI were really low, makes me really thankful we didn't do back to backs. I'm not sure of your situation, but either way good luck!!

mallory4284

@JGY and @Himee33 lol thanks for the input! We've never done back to back inseminations (including when we did IUI) because our IUIs were expensive enough without adding doubling up on semen to the mix! The only reason we're even contemplating doing 2 ICIs back to back is because, even ordering 2 vials, is still a ton less expensive than any of our medicated IUIs. Especially because the ICI semen is almost $200 less than the IUI semen we've been having to get before.... plus there's no hundreds of dollars of medication to purchase!

I don't know how to do a signature exactly, so I'll just add our info to the bottom of this while I try to figure out how to create a signature that will add automatically. (This info is 99.9% accurate) The only way I was able to get dates was to go back through our paperwork (ie bills). I swear, I'm missing some, because there was at least one more IUI in there....I just don't know when. (I think it was the November 2012 IUI?) And I'm only 99% positive that the first 4 IUIs were unmedicated, only because I know I had to take a month break in between my medicated IUIs to let my body rest. I'm kind of wishing I had kept better track of everything we've been through, but needless to say, it's been a super long journey (despite all of our "breaks")

So, without further ado, and I apology in advance if my signature is too long:

Me: 30 GF: 30

Together since April '09 -- Engaged since Dec '10 -- TTC since Jan '12

1/25/12 - First meeting with Fertility Doctor

2/15/12 - IUI #1 - unmedicated - (BFN)

4/7/12 - IUI #2 - unmedicated - (BFN)

6/4/12 - IUI #3 - unmedicated - (BFN)

7-24-12 - IUI #4 - medicated - (BFN)

Aug '12 - Nov '12 - Took a couple months off to regroup/save up more money

11/12 - IUI#5 - medicated - (BFN)

Nov '12 - Jan '13 - Another break to regroup...again.

1/11/13 - Hysteroscopy/Laparoscopy - Results inconclusive

DR said my uterus looked "perfect" and found nothing that would cause him to believe I couldn't get pregnant (can we say frustrated?)

2/6/12 - IUI #6 - medicated - (BFN)

Mar '13 - Aug '13 - Took a break to regroup/save money/meet with new DR

8/5/13 - First meeting with NEW Fertility Doctor to begin IVF

9/15/13 - Egg Retrieval #1 - Retrieved 7 mature follicles - 5 fertilized - Only 1 made it

9/20/13 - Egg Transfer #1 - Transferred 1 mature blastocyst - (BFN)

Oct '13 - Feb '14 - Took a break to regroup/pay off some of CC debt

2/6/14 - Egg Retrieval #2 - Retrieved 7 mature follicles - Only 2 made it

2/9/14 - Egg Transfer #2 - Transferred 2 mature blastocysts (BFN)

Feb '14 - July '14 - Took yet another break to recover from...everything

June '14 - Found a new sperm bank that ships to our house! "Relaxing" at TTC and gearing up for home inseminations

7/20/14 - ICI #1 - (BFN)

July '14 - Sept '14 - Started tracking ovulation using OPKs and temping to try and time ICIs better

ICI #2 planned for Oct 14

mallory4284

Um yeah.... Any advice on how to not make my signature be like ten pages long?? I'm open to any and all suggestions!!

Himee33

@mallory4284‌ I will send you a message now!

JGY

@mallory4284 - that's one hell of a journey.  I'm so sorry that you have struggled for so long.  Whatever you decide to do in terms of back-to-back (to back) insems this month, I'll be rooting for you!

 

mallory4284

Thanks @JGY‌ it was kinda surreal going back and revisiting the dates of everything and realizing just how much we've gone through.... And super frustrating. And realizing this is why it's so hard to see so many people around me (friends, family, etc) having babies, and I just want it to be my turn. And it's just frustrating to wonder why it hasn't happened.... Especially because my doctors have been no help in that dept aside from basically saying they have no clue why I haven't been able to even get pregnant yet....

Karlamo

mallory4284 said:

Thanks @JGY‌ it was kinda surreal going back and revisiting the dates of everything and realizing just how much we've gone through.... And super frustrating. And realizing this is why it's so hard to see so many people around me (friends, family, etc) having babies, and I just want it to be my turn. And it's just frustrating to wonder why it hasn't happened.... Especially because my doctors have been no help in that dept aside from basically saying they have no clue why I haven't been able to even get pregnant yet....

We've been there. It hurts so bad and almost everyday I was obsessed with having a baby.
Please keep the faith. It was the only thing keeping me hanging on month after month. I look back on our almost 2 year journey and just remember sadness and anger and frustration. I hope you get answers or a BFP soon.

gayby

So we found out yesterday that our 3rd unmedicated IUI didn't work. It was a hard pill to swallow. We thought we had braced ourselves for the news this time, but dobyiu ever really prepare for this?

My wife had all her tests done before this last IUI because we were going to go the medicated route before doing one last unmedicated and everything came back normal. Our donors count was 12 million this time around and well, we are very crushed.

Moving forward we are looking at paying our RE $1600 for monitoring per cycle, which doesn't include any medication or any donor sperm, which in our area and with insurance will run us almost another $1000. I'm not complaining just completely overwhelmed with financial wonder at this point in our journey. I never thought it would be this difficult. My wife is going out of town on business so looks like we're out of the game for this cycle coming up, but will be back at it again late October.

I'll leave on this note: be thankful for what you have, whatever you're expecting or whatever you've been given.

Thanks for all the support

gayby

Thanks @TwoMomsInTX‌ !

Officerofthelaw

My 2nd IUI did not take:( this journey is emotional. We are going to try two more IUI's before moving to IVF.
I collect plates from every place we visit. Just got my Belize plate this past week!

mallory4284

Sorry to hear about the BFNs @gayby‌ and @Officerofthelaw‌

Officerofthelaw

Thank you @mallory4284. Hopefully this month will take.

Officerofthelaw

@megd893‌ sorry to hear about your Bfn, I'm in the same boat! Good luck for the next go around!