baby timing sadness...venting but with wine!

huzzahuzza

I'm five glasses of (cheap) wine in so I'm just gonna vent here for a sec.  

We were driving home from getting groceries today when H dropped a bomb on me.  He said that since we are struggling to afford 1 in dc, he would be willing to wait until J was in pre-school before trying for #2. He said it casually, as if we were talking about the weather! 

I thought about it for a second or two before being pissed.  I told him that I am going above and beyond for our family.  The reason I'm doing grad school at this point in our lives is to bring in more money.  I'm working my tail off and thinking of everything within my capabilities to bring in more money without sacrificing more time with J.  

H has been talking about getting a new job for YEARS! He says he doesn't want to fix copiers for his entire life and yet he is afraid of change and so here we sit with a job that doesn't appreciate the work that he does and has only given him raises equaling $1.25 per hour total in 7 years. I am totally willing to support him in ANYTHING he wants to do to better himself and our family status but he refuses to step up and freaking DO IT! 

If we have to wait until J is in pre-school before trying for #2 I will completely resent him for it. I straight up told him that if I have to hold off on my dreams while doing everything in my capabilities to achieve my dreams because of him I will be beyond pissed.  

okay, vent over... holy crap I made a lot of spelling mistakes that I had to fix....I'm not even going to think about grammar!!!!!!

fancefpp

I'm sorry. It's hard not being on the same page.

bumpuser3155624

So frustrating! Enjoy the wine tonight and hopefully dh realizes he needs to get on the same page as you.

littlewest1

Awe, I am sorry.  I hope you can come to a resolution that works for both of you.

coffeeandbooks

ugh, that sucks.   I hope you guys can find common ground on this.

HZ2012

Ugh - it's the worst when you don't see eye to eye with DH on big stuff. I know how you feel. My advice is to give it a little time, and then revisit the convo, calmly, and with a plan.
Positive vibes headed your way

huzzahuzza

Don't you just love irony @linegirl313?!? I have this shirt that says "it's all about me" and I think it's funny to wear it when I'm with J cuz it's ironic.  

beaubecca said:

It sounds like he really caught you off guard with this. Maybe he was just stressing and it was an impulsive feeling on his end? What did he say after you said all that to him?

In any case, I'm sorry you guys aren't seeing eye to eye on this right now. Hopefully he will come around. But feel free to vent away!

He was completely silent.  He's got somethings to think about and he knows it... I'll give him some time and we'll revisit it later (maybe with more wine?jk) 

JoJo716

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I hate it when dh blind sides me with something. Especially the big stuff. He shouldn't make statements, it should be a discussion.

kelseyhh

Since he brought it up so casually, could it be something that he was just saying off the top of his head because he's stressed?

My DH says big, life changing stuff all the time that he hasn't actually put thought into, but he just says out loud for some reason. It always stresses me out, but it turns out to be nothing he'd actually consider, he was just throwing an idea out there.

I think men often speak without thinking too much about what they're actually saying.

HUGS either way. I can't imagine how upset you must be :-(