If your hospital didn't maintain a nursery and/or pushed rooming-in...

harmonicbabe26

What was your baby care arrangement if the hospital where you delivered pushed rooming-in or didn't have a regular nursery? Here's the situation. My first was born at a hospital which had a full on nursery and I was able to drop her off there for the night when I was alone. She was with me in the room during the day while MH was there with me. At night she was with the nurses and they would bring her in for feedings. We didn't have any family nearby so it was just the two of us dealing with everything and MH couldn't stay with me overnight as he had to work at least for part of the day each day. This baby will be delivered at a place that - according to their website - doesn't have a nursery, only an ICU for babies with issues. Honestly no idea how they do it with women who have a cs and don't have husbands, mothers or MILs to step in and help throughout the day and overnight. Wonder if they expect me to just jump out of bed the day of or day after and do everything by myself??? Because again - no family anywhere near and on top of everything we have DD1 to take care of. As great as recovery was last time, there is no way in heck I could have done everything all on my own even then! If such a hospital was your experience, what did you do? Did you have YH or family member stay with you? Or do they actually help you with the baby if you had a cs? I am planning to ask all these questions during our hospital tour in about 3 weeks. Just wanted to pick people's brains. I am considering hiring a doula to come help me if the hospital refuses to help... Comments? Tips? Stories? Thanks!

AF9211

Same boat here, too! I'm interested to hear moms with experience share their story. DH will not be staying with me this time because he'll be home with DD1. 

SarahRae85

My DD roomed with me while I was recovering from my c-section and DH spent a lot of the time at home with our other daughter. For the most part, I kept the baby with me in the bed. If she was in her bassinet bedside, I could pull myself up to get her in or out, but if a nurse was handy they'd move her for me with a smile.

harmonicbabe26

SweetC80 said:

Honestly you just deal. Ours had a nursery, but pushed rooming-in, which I was totally fine w/ because my husband planned on staying the whole time and I didn't want my baby out of my site. Well after 4 days of little sleep we decided my husband would go home to get some sleep and I would send my baby to the nursery so I could get some sleep the last night before going home. Well, my LO started crying about 15min after she left me and they brought her back and told me she couldn't stay in the nursery. I was nursing, so they said they would bring her to me to nurse if she was hungry and take her back, but they were like no she needs to be w/ you. So I was stuck w/o a husband struggling to get in and out of bed and they bassinet that they had was really high, so I had to get out of bed to pick or put down my baby or change her, and had no nurses offering to help. It was rough, but we survived.

See that's my entire point - I can't rely on MH being there with me the entire time and sleeping there at night bc we have another child to care for and no relatives who can step in. What do you think you would have done if you didn't have YH there the first couple of days?
I'm trying to think through scenarios.

harmonicbabe26

@jennish11‌ yes. I'm planning to talk it all over during our hospital tour in 3 weeks. Don't think my OB can help in any way since they are an OB practice not the hospital itself. And yes, I guess in the worse case scenario I will have to be very openly demanding and ask for help, no issues with that.

AF9211

harmonicbabe26 said:

@jennish11‌ yes. I'm planning to talk it all over during our hospital tour in 3 weeks. Don't think my OB can help in any way since they are an OB practice not the hospital itself. And yes, I guess in the worse case scenario I will have to be very openly demanding and ask for help, no issues with that.

This is exactly how I plan on handling the situation...especially if the nurses are anything like the ones @sweetc80 had. I would be livid if they pushed rooming-in but didn't offer any friggin help. That's awful.

ufsandra85

I got the baby myself or the nurse helped me. Usually the baby only cried when the nurse came in and woke him up for vitals and then they handed him to me

ZooCrewMom

I just buzzed the nurse with my second c-section as needed- they were great and very helpful. Since my second wasn't an emergency I was out of bed by the evening of the delivery too (much different than my emergency one) and I was actually able to go home after night two. Hopefully you can get out after just a few days and won't have to deal with it long.

RayRay007

DH stayed with me all three nights with DD but by the second and third night I was getting DD myself. DH slept through it and I was such a light sleeper that her slightest stirring woke me up. So I had time to raise my bed and get out of bed before she was even fully awake. She was never screaming and crying waiting on me or anything. If for some reason I needed help and DH wasn't there I'd call for a nurse.

RayRay007

I always find it funny when women complain about rooming in and having to take care of their own baby.

harmonicbabe26

RayRay007 said:

I always find it funny when women complain about rooming in and having to take care of their own baby.

Oh yeah? What's so funny about it?

RayRay007

harmonicbabe26 said:

RayRay007 said:

I always find it funny when women complain about rooming in and having to take care of their own baby.

Oh yeah? What's so funny about it?

You sound like a peach.

pepomntpat

Well, you just ask the nurse for help.  I loved rooming in. Loved it. Hated every second my daughter was away from me after my c-section.  Totally pissed me off. Didn't let my son out of my sight after my CBAC.  Mostly I was able to keep him in the bed with me and if I needed help, I asked.  I really don't get not wanting your baby with you. I do for an hour or so of rest, but for the most part that baby should be with you.  Your baby needs YOU, not a nurse.  

nunzchucks

RayRay007 said:

I always find it funny when women complain about rooming in and having to take care of their own baby.

Oh yeah? What's so funny about it?

You sound like a peach.

I don't understand why it is funny either. After my son, I was so high on pain killers I couldn't keep my eyes open and H and I hadn't slept or eaten in 36 hours. We were not fit to be taking care of a newborn and needed the nurses to help us by taking DS to the nursery for a few hours.

RayRay007

I was in no way saying you shouldn't ask for help if you need it. I just can't understand why some people are so offended by rooming in.

ashaw512

RayRay007 said:

I was in no way saying you shouldn't ask for help if you need it. I just can't understand why some people are so offended by rooming in.

No, you just find it funny?

capulet

The hospital where I had DS (my #2) didn't have a nursery, but the nurses would take care of babies at the nurses' station if you needed a break.  It was a smallish hospital, so there were never a lot of babies at one time.

I think it is completely understandable if 1. you just had major surgery and 2. your partner isn't going to be there at night to be anxious about how you're going to take care of your baby by yourself.  Sometimes being a good mother means making sure you get taken care of, and if that means not rooming in at night, then that's what it means.  I am all for rooming in after uncomplicated vaginal births and/or when both parents can stay at the hospital, and I co-sleep with my babies once I get home and have my DH in bed with me and helpful family members nearby if I need anything.  But dude.  DD (my first, unplanned c/s) was born around 2 AM after a hellish few hours of labor, and I spent another few hours in recovery with the shakes because my body temperature got down to 94 degrees.  We sent her to the nursery so we could sleep after that ordeal.  She was sleeping too, as babies tend to do for pretty much the first 24 hours solid after c-sections, or at least mine did. It was what DH and I needed to be capable parents after what we'd been through, and that's what the hospital staff is there for.  I'm glad the nurses at the hospital weren't judgy and offered take care of DD when we both needed to rest, while also being very helpful with breastfeeding and bonding when DD and I were ready.

DanandVan

Our hospital had the same arrangement, which was a shock to me as my dr had me switch hospitals 45 min before surgery, so I was unaware of their policy. The nurses were VERY slow to respond to being called - 20 min is a long time to helplessly listen to your new baby's cry. Also, the first 24 hrs I was hooked up to so many things I couldn't get out of bed even if I wanted to try.
You are absolutely right to assume you will need help. I would hire a doula or baby nurse for your stay at the hospital and even when you get home, esp if you have other children. I know that could get pricey but it would be $ well spent, and maybe you could find a nursing student or nice Grandma type who wouldn't charge so much?

ksimo6

OUr hospital had a nursery but I opted to room in.  My husband was there the first night and assisted when I needed him to.  I sent him home for the subsequent nights because his snoring was way too annoying.  I didn't really have trouble taking care of the babe, as I just put her bassinet right next to my bed.  When I did need assistance, I jsut rang the bell for the nurse.  In my experience, the nurses are in an out enough that you can get the help you need when you need it. 

conradraging

I had my mom stay the first night (H is in the military so he couldn't be here) since DD was born at 6pm, and her help was essential. The second night I was alone and it was definitely tough, because although I was able to get up and move it was painful and slow. But the nurses were super helpful and I did what I could and pressed the call button if I needed a hand.

(Guess I'm not a supermom since I needed help after major abdominal surgery...hm)

Rachel623

I had an emergency C-section after 30 hours of really bad labor with multiple complications. My daughter was born about 930 at night and we didn't get into the recovery room until well after midnight. By then both me and my husband were exhausted and he fell asleep. I was not able to wake him up because I couldn't physically reach him and I didn't want to yell with my baby there.

When my daughter cried, I paged for the nurses. They took at least 20 minutes to get there each time. That's including one time when my IV popped open and fluid including antibiotics was spilling on my newborn. I still had in a catheter was hooked up to an IV and was not physically able to lift my daughter out of her bassinet put her back in.

Bottom line is that I felt really helpless. I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to wonder how you're going to handle that. I don't think it would hurt to have extra help around. That being said, I still would not have sent my daughter to the nursery because I wanted her to be right next to me. Hoping your delivery and recovery go better than you expected.

sarahandeddiejune212008

My DH stayed with me and DD#1 stayed with family, but my hospital did allow siblings to stay if need be.

A rcs is much easier -at least from what I've heard as both of mine were scheduled. I was able to get up on my own the first night (surgery was at 8am).

Good luck!

beaniousmaximus

Our hospital is like that too. They didn't have a nursery, but I didn't mind because I wanted to be with my son. I had a csection, so for the first day or so I was hooked up to a catheter and couldn't do much. But the basinette was right beside my bed, so I was able to maneuver myself to get the baby without help. My boyfriend stayed with me at night and went to work during the day. It was definitely nice having him there to hand me the baby, but I was fine when I was alone too. I did have a call button to ask the nurses for help if I needed it.

This time around our son is 2 years old and I'll be having a scheduled csection at the same hospital. My boyfriend wont be able to stay with me, because he'll be home with our son. But I asked my mom to stay the first night so I have some company. If I need help, I'll just ask the nurses. 

Justabean3

I can tell you this, nurses are people and demanding will get you no where but a slow response.

I had nothing but overly helpful nurses with both baby 1 and 2. I think it is super important that you are nice to them. I ended up being severely anemic and was passing out in my sleep including when just holding the babies randomly.

They always showed up within a matter of minutes or faster if I said I was having a problem and felt off.

Kindness goes a long way.

BUT besides that after the first day it is uncomfortable but not impossible to get up and get the baby by yourself. You just pull the cart/bassinet over too you and take a deep breath and go plus nurses are pretty good about leaving the cart within arms reach to do just that.

beamstar

My hospital didn't have a nursery so my DD roomed with me. My husband stayed the night and slept on the sofa but during the day he was at school so I was pretty much on my own. I had the bassinet right next to my bed and I put my bed in a sitting position to get my baby out or she stayed with me on my bed.the Dr wanted me walking as soon as possible so I would get up to change diapers.

tinyjoys

The hospital I delivered my son at didn't have an actual nursery. However, my son either had to be with me physically or at the nurses desk, and the nurses were happy to take him whenever I needed rest. When I got up to walk around or shower, irregardless of if my husband/the father was in the room or not. With me or not in the room, simple as that. The nurses were awesome about helping out, though.

harmonicbabe26

theresat858 said:

I had the nurses help out the first night. DH was home with dd1. They were in there all the time checking vitals and what not anyway.

@theresat858‌ hey, how is BFing going? I was trying to follow your posts to see when/if you resolved the sleepy baby issue. My first was so sleepy and I worry it will happen again with this one...