What was your baby care arrangement if the hospital where you delivered pushed rooming-in or didn't have a regular nursery?
Here's the situation. My first was born at a hospital which had a full on nursery and I was able to drop her off there for the night when I was alone. She was with me in the room during the day while MH was there with me. At night she was with the nurses and they would bring her in for feedings. We didn't have any family nearby so it was just the two of us dealing with everything and MH couldn't stay with me overnight as he had to work at least for part of the day each day.
This baby will be delivered at a place that - according to their website - doesn't have a nursery, only an ICU for babies with issues. Honestly no idea how they do it with women who have a cs and don't have husbands, mothers or MILs to step in and help throughout the day and overnight. Wonder if they expect me to just jump out of bed the day of or day after and do everything by myself??? Because again - no family anywhere near and on top of everything we have DD1 to take care of. As great as recovery was last time, there is no way in heck I could have done everything all on my own even then!
If such a hospital was your experience, what did you do? Did you have YH or family member stay with you? Or do they actually help you with the baby if you had a cs? I am planning to ask all these questions during our hospital tour in about 3 weeks. Just wanted to pick people's brains. I am considering hiring a doula to come help me if the hospital refuses to help...
Comments? Tips? Stories?
Thanks!
Re: If your hospital didn't maintain a nursery and/or pushed rooming-in...
See that's my entire point - I can't rely on MH being there with me the entire time and sleeping there at night bc we have another child to care for and no relatives who can step in. What do you think you would have done if you didn't have YH there the first couple of days?
I'm trying to think through scenarios.
Married 11/27/09 and TTC right away
Dx: Complete septate uterus with cervical duplication, endometrial polyps, PCOS, endometriosis, hypo thyroid, luteal phase defect
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My miracle baby was born March 5 at 9:33am. He was 8 lbs 12.5 oz and 21.25 inches long!
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bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
Oh yeah? What's so funny about it?
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
I don't understand why it is funny either. After my son, I was so high on pain killers I couldn't keep my eyes open and H and I hadn't slept or eaten in 36 hours. We were not fit to be taking care of a newborn and needed the nurses to help us by taking DS to the nursery for a few hours.
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
I think it is completely understandable if 1. you just had major surgery and 2. your partner isn't going to be there at night to be anxious about how you're going to take care of your baby by yourself. Sometimes being a good mother means making sure you get taken care of, and if that means not rooming in at night, then that's what it means. I am all for rooming in after uncomplicated vaginal births and/or when both parents can stay at the hospital, and I co-sleep with my babies once I get home and have my DH in bed with me and helpful family members nearby if I need anything. But dude. DD (my first, unplanned c/s) was born around 2 AM after a hellish few hours of labor, and I spent another few hours in recovery with the shakes because my body temperature got down to 94 degrees. We sent her to the nursery so we could sleep after that ordeal. She was sleeping too, as babies tend to do for pretty much the first 24 hours solid after c-sections, or at least mine did. It was what DH and I needed to be capable parents after what we'd been through, and that's what the hospital staff is there for. I'm glad the nurses at the hospital weren't judgy and offered take care of DD when we both needed to rest, while also being very helpful with breastfeeding and bonding when DD and I were ready.
You are absolutely right to assume you will need help. I would hire a doula or baby nurse for your stay at the hospital and even when you get home, esp if you have other children. I know that could get pricey but it would be $ well spent, and maybe you could find a nursing student or nice Grandma type who wouldn't charge so much?
(Guess I'm not a supermom since I needed help after major abdominal surgery...hm)
When my daughter cried, I paged for the nurses. They took at least 20 minutes to get there each time. That's including one time when my IV popped open and fluid including antibiotics was spilling on my newborn. I still had in a catheter was hooked up to an IV and was not physically able to lift my daughter out of her bassinet put her back in.
Bottom line is that I felt really helpless. I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to wonder how you're going to handle that. I don't think it would hurt to have extra help around. That being said, I still would not have sent my daughter to the nursery because I wanted her to be right next to me. Hoping your delivery and recovery go better than you expected.
A rcs is much easier -at least from what I've heard as both of mine were scheduled. I was able to get up on my own the first night (surgery was at 8am).
Good luck!
This time around our son is 2 years old and I'll be having a scheduled csection at the same hospital. My boyfriend wont be able to stay with me, because he'll be home with our son. But I asked my mom to stay the first night so I have some company. If I need help, I'll just ask the nurses.
I had nothing but overly helpful nurses with both baby 1 and 2. I think it is super important that you are nice to them. I ended up being severely anemic and was passing out in my sleep including when just holding the babies randomly.
They always showed up within a matter of minutes or faster if I said I was having a problem and felt off.
Kindness goes a long way.
BUT besides that after the first day it is uncomfortable but not impossible to get up and get the baby by yourself. You just pull the cart/bassinet over too you and take a deep breath and go plus nurses are pretty good about leaving the cart within arms reach to do just that.