Interesting article- especially considering the posts and planning for 10/15

sunflwra

Thought this was an interesting take on the "norm" for announcing pregnancies, especially in light of the threads regarding upcoming plans for Oct 15th and those considering "outing" themselves on social media. I think it does a great job of addressing how I know we all feel about our losses. 

***Warning- Pregnancy mentioned in link***

https://dailysignal.com/2014/09/04/announced-pregnancy-way-12-weeks-women-consider/

jjbmstinco

That is an interesting way of thinking.  To each their own, but it isn't something I could do again.  I only told parents, and a few close family members at 6 weeks.  After having to explain the loss, and seeing the looks on the face or hearing it in their voice was too much.  While I know there is 100% of time that is safe, I will still be keeping it to myself as long as I can.  

I do hope that it will take the taboo out of talking about the sweet little ones that have passed.  

ellebelle2384

Very interesting.  Thanks for posting.

nursecmc

I saw this too- an interesting perspective.  I agree and I don't agree.  I agree that the support of family and friends when experiencing a loss is valuable.  I shared with my staff that I was having a D&C and was amazed at the outreach I received.  However, I don't know that I would share with them (or anyone else) a BFP so early.  It's such a vulnerable feeling/time and I'm not sure that I can add "the world" into the 10/10 crazy train that will/would be those first few weeks. 

I do like the idea of coming out of "hiding" and sharing, because the majority of my friends do not know about our losses.  If I can support a friend through a similar experience I think it would help. 

To each their own tho!

daystardreams

We've talked about when we will share if/when we get pregnant again. Last time we told family and close friends immediately. Some of our close friends were also co-workers which meant that everybody at both of our jobs knew. I asked him if he wanted to wait a little bit longer next time and he didn't hesitate when saying absolutely not. The loss of the baby doesn't change the happiness that we felt. We want to share that with friends and close family. I think the only thing we will do differently is to ask anyone that we tell to not tell other people until we say it is ok.

I understand why women don't want to share however, I won't ever forget how my mom's voice went from high pitched "How's my little grandbaby?" to a raspy "I'm so sorry." but I also know that her support was invaluable. I'm also glad that she had told her sisters because she needed people to support her too. It's so hard to know what will work out best for your family in the long run. Thank you for sharing the article!

sunflwra

I'm definitely torn about it as well and I'm sure my perspective is a little different since mine were later losses and waiting until 13 weeks wouldn't have "saved" me from dealing with this publicly but I did find it interesting. We announced on FB after 1st tri with my first loss and then I ended up feeling like I had to share the loss there more for myself than others (I was getting random baby posts and questions from friends that I wasn't super close to and that didn't know we'd lost him- so I did it to protect myself from having to deal with more of that).  I got a lot of wonderful support during that time and there was a part of me that felt better with the loss being acknowledged. We didn't tell anyone but our parents and my team at work when we got pregnant again and there are times that I feel like that loss was mourned differently since it was so much more in private.  I don't know- I just feel really sad for ladies out there that have to deal with loss without a lot of support.  I don't know that we'll announce a future pregnancy before our 20 week loss mark, but I thought this article showed a different perspective on things and wanted to share.