Am I being too helicopter?

Princess_Lily

DS (elementary) is in the process of getting an IEP, I expect one will be in place by winter, hopefully.

While the teacher has been informed of his disability and we wait for an IEP, his teacher is reporting some disruptive behaviors in the class (fidgeting, etc.).

Through much of my own research, I have compiled about a page of scientific tips and gathered some tools (quiet fidget toys to give to her) that can help the teacher minimize the disruptions. Now, since there isn't even a 504, the teacher may/may not use them

I would like to set up a meeting with his teacher to go over the list I made, together, just in case there are questions. If you were in our position would you like that the parent is trying to help, or is it too much helicopter parenting?

funchicken

Is the teacher asking for help/suggestions or is she just reporting the behavior that she's seeing in the classroom to inform you? What strategies are currently in place? If she's just communicating this to you to keep in in the loop on how things are going, I would bite my tongue. You could ask her if she has any ideas on what might help or if there's anything you can work on with him at home.

I second all of Auntie's advice. When we were struggling with DD's anxiety issues last year the school psychologist and the guidance counselor were the ones who coached the teacher on modifying her approach. I would have felt really uncomfortable trying to give her tips on how to do her job. You really really want the teacher on your side. 

Princess_Lily

Its just common complains I've found in his daily behavior charts. One of the common complains were during circle time he keeps touching friends hair, making noises, and general fidgeting. She has tried to move him from sitting on the floor during circle time, to sitting in a chair...but still he will find ways to his kick chair, etc. She tells me of the accomidation without me prompting.

I dont want to be seen as helicopter parent, controlling or disrespectful. I think I will hold onto my notes, JIC to refer back to them if I need to in the next few meetings - if they ask.



Do you think its wrong to send an email with concerns I have about some classmates, as well as discipline? Some classmates may be instigating a fight or their being friendly and DS is misinterpreting their actions. Just wanted to give her a heads up, to keep an eye out. Also, the teacher pulled him out of his 1 recess break for the day, due to discipline which was warranted - Im hoping that there can be an alternative way of discipline, since excluding exercise can exacerbate behaviors. WDYT?

bumpuser511563

I get that you want to help the teacher.

In my experience, I had an awesome private team for ABA and speech. I valued and learned from them and I would show them some school daily reports and they would suggest things to the ASD teacher when bad behaviors showed on daily reports or ABC reports.

I would occasionally suggest things on the reports, too.

This was the first year the ASD teacher taught ASD. She did not listen at all and when she did find a stategy I already suggested that worked, it was months later.

It drove me nuts. We met 7 times for IEP's. I read several books and have a BA in education and that did not matter to the teacher. She disliked us because we knew too much yet she loved DS because he was verbal and we put so much private therapies to get him to talk.

This year, I am not saying a darn thing. I don't think teachers think we know anything and when we suggest things, they will not listen.

I do like the part where you meet with her to discuss things but I would suggest like the PP's would say when inquiring about what she is doing.