Nope. A Baby Shower is to celebrate the entrance into Motherhood. You only do that once. The Mother is the Guest of Honor (not baby as sometimes trotted out as an acceptable reason). You are celebrating Motherhood as a new journey.
You can do a Sip n' See once baby is a couple months old for baby's debut if you choose. That way you can "celebrate the baby" as the guest of honor.
Some regard second (and 3/4/5th) showers as selfish because you've already gotten plenty of gear/clothes from the first shower. Technically you should have all you would need. It's asking for more stuff from peopr who have already been very generous.
This month alone, I have been invited to 2 showers where both moms have a 2 year old. They are calling it a "Sprinkle" so the gifts are smaller or just bring a pack of diapers.
I think it's a bit tacky, but lots of mom's are having a second shower these days (or at least where I live). Maybe times are changing...
I agree, no second shower. We did a "meet the baby," brunch at our house after DD2 was born, as a way to celebrate her and let everyone meet her. It was pretty casual. I made a couple different breakfast casseroles, muffins, pastries, coffee and mimosas. DH called all our friends and family to invite them. We had everyone just come and go as they pleased between 9-12. We asked for no gifts (a couple people still brought diapers though).
As far as timing, I was having a RCS and was unsure about the recovery (first one was really rough) so we didn't set a date until after she was born. Recovery was a breeze so we ended up doing it the Saturday after she was born (she was 6 days old, we'd been home for 4). We had some family in town just for the week and a lot of friends that were anxious to meet the baby. I felt great so there was no reason to wait. This time we will probably do the same- just wait and see how I feel. When I am home, I'll decide when I want to do it and we'll go from there.
I have been approached by 2 people to throw me another shower. I'm having twins and will be 4.5 years apart from my first. I declined both because we don't need much but one of those is dead set on having one. I have read posts on here about it being inappropriate but every person I ask IRL (even a couple people in other states) have told me it is a celebration of the baby and they don't see anything wrong with it. These are the same people that would be invited to the shower, so I think it is just perspective. I have been to "sprinkles" before and have never felt that it was odd or inappropriate but that is just me.
Having kids 6 years apart isn't a valid "reason" to have a second shower. It's no one elses problem if you've given your baby stuff away, if you are having a child of a different sex, whatever.
Generally, the only acceptable reason to have a second shower is if the baby will be the dad's first child.
Just asking for feedback.. didn't ask whose problem it was if I gave anything away.
I agree, no second Drshower. We did a "meet the baby," brunch at our house after DD2 was born, as a way to celebrate her and let everyone meet her. It was pretty casual. I made a couple different breakfast casseroles, muffins, pastries, coffee and mimosas. DH called all our friends and family to invite them. We had everyone just come and go as they pleased between 9-12. We asked for no gifts (a couple people still brought diapers though).
As far as timing, I was having a RCS and was unsure about the recovery (first one was really rough) so we didn't set a date until after she was born. Recovery was a breeze so we ended up doing it the Saturday after she was born (she was 6 days old, we'd been home for 4). We had some family in town just for the week and a lot of friends that were anxious to meet the baby. I felt great so there was no reason to wait. This time we will probably do the same- just wait and see how I feel. When I am home, I'll decide when I want to do it and we'll go from there.
Having kids 6 years apart isn't a valid "reason" to have a second shower. It's no one elses problem if you've given your baby stuff away, if you are having a child of a different sex, whatever.
Generally, the only acceptable reason to have a second shower is if the baby will be the dad's first child.
Just asking for feedback.. didn't ask whose problem it was if I gave anything away.
That was feedback. Second showers get a pretty visceral response because they are extremely tacky.
I am having my second child (10 yrs later), but it is hubby's first. I didn't expect any showers thrown, but his side of the family is excited and not throwing one never entered their mind. Also, my coworkers didn't ask but surprised me with a shower. I always assumed a shower for a second baby was a no no, but have attended several around here so perhaps it depends on where you live? If a family member or close friend wants to throw a shower I don't see the problem. Sure, some people may find it tacky, but hurting others feelings by declining isn't exactly kosher behavior either. If you are dead set on hot having one, then kindly explain why you feel this way when you decline. If you are on the fence feel out some people who would be invited and see their take on it or talk to the person wanting to throw it and just be honest: You thought it was a no no to have a shower for second child- is there something else they would like to do- like a brunch after baby is born or such?
I am having my second child (10 yrs later), but it is hubby's first. I didn't expect any showers thrown, but his side of the family is excited and not throwing one never entered their mind. Also, my coworkers didn't ask but surprised me with a shower. I always assumed a shower for a second baby was a no no, but have attended several around here so perhaps it depends on where you live? If a family member or close friend wants to throw a shower I don't see the problem. Sure, some people may find it tacky, but hurting others feelings by declining isn't exactly kosher behavior either. If you are dead set on hot having one, then kindly explain why you feel this way when you decline. If you are on the fence feel out some people who would be invited and see their take on it or talk to the person wanting to throw it and just be honest: You thought it was a no no to have a shower for second child- is there something else they would like to do- like a brunch after baby is born or such?
Declining a shower isn't rude. And that is exactly why second showers are rude. Declining may be fine, but if it's a close friend or family member you'll likely feel bad saying no (even though it's perfectly fine to) so those guests that happily come likely felt pressured to be there. Do you really want an AWish party knowing that your guests probably resent being there and forming over more money solely because you chose to procreate?
Also, asking your friends and family their feelings isn't going to get you their real thoughts. If you're asking it's most likely because you're in or soon to be in the situation so of course they'll likely say "omg yes! Second showers are great!" Because they don't want to hurt your feelings.
*your husband's family throwing the shower is ok in your case. And surprise showers you really can't do much about.
I personally think it is okay to have another shower, especially because your kiddos are 6 years apart. If someone offered to throw you a shower, I would absolutely agree. Even if it is a smaller, more intimate gathering it is really nice to celebrate the new addition to your family.
Factors that may influence my opinion--my SIL had a shower for my nephew (who came 5 years after their first child, a girl)
My SIL's sister had a shower for her second child (a girl, 5 years after her first daughter)
I am soon attending a shower for a friend who is on her third child, but her first girl
My mom had showers for my little sister, who is 7 years younger than me
Two close friends had a shower for each of their three boys, simply because friends wanted to host one
I say, if you want a shower and someone offers to host it, go for it!
My children will be 6 years apart. I read somewhere that having a second baby shower can seem selfish. What do you all think?
I'm only asking for feedback and I'm not insisting on having another one. Someone offered and I said no but the one who offered become upset. So I'm asking your thoughts, not to make comments that may offend. Thanks.
We did give you our thoughts. You chose to be offended.
No where does it say our responses have to be what you want to hear.
And I have a burning feeling that, yes, you do think you should have a shower being you pointed out your kids will be 6 years apart, like, it's a valid reason to have a second shower.
And I really don't care if someone has a second shower thrown for them; I'd go to one for a friend or cousin if someone was throwing one. But I understand why second showers/sprinkles are considered rude and tacky.
you have a burning feeling yet you don't know me from adam? And it was part of the question (them being six years apart) not a "valid reason". Don't assume anything honey. But thanks. I'm done with this convo.
I am having my second child (10 yrs later), but it is hubby's first. I didn't expect any showers thrown, but his side of the family is excited and not throwing one never entered their mind. Also, my coworkers didn't ask but surprised me with a shower. I always assumed a shower for a second baby was a no no, but have attended several around here so perhaps it depends on where you live? If a family member or close friend wants to throw a shower I don't see the problem. Sure, some people may find it tacky, but hurting others feelings by declining isn't exactly kosher behavior either. If you are dead set on hot having one, then kindly explain why you feel this way when you decline. If you are on the fence feel out some people who would be invited and see their take on it or talk to the person wanting to throw it and just be honest: You thought it was a no no to have a shower for second child- is there something else they would like to do- like a brunch after baby is born or such?
it was my mom who actually wanted one for me. I told her ppl usually don't do second showers and she was a little disappointed. But I hear different things so I just wanted to hear others perspective.
I'd just be honest with her then. Bring up that it is a situation that some find tacky, and you aren't sure if it is kosher or not. Also find out - was it just going to be a small one with really close friends and family (I think that is what my husbands family is doing). Have people in your family had showers for the second child before? (Mine husbands does- no one seems to find them tacky- they simply get excited about kids). I personally think it just depends on how the people around you feel, and don't think you should solely base your decisions on what strangers say. Do what you are comfortable with- if you aren't comfortable having a shower you could tell her that if people want to give you a gift they are more than welcome to, but no one should feel pressured by having a shower. I am sure if it is your mom that she didn't mean anything by it and perhaps doesn't see it being a problem. That might mean it isn't a problem in her general circle of friends and family.
How do you feel about it- are you seriously uncomfortable about it or one the fence and unsure?
I'd just be honest with her then. Bring up that it is a situation that some find tacky, and you aren't sure if it is kosher or not. Also find out - was it just going to be a small one with really close friends and family (I think that is what my husbands family is doing). Have people in your family had showers for the second child before? (Mine husbands does- no one seems to find them tacky- they simply get excited about kids). I personally think it just depends on how the people around you feel, and don't think you should solely base your decisions on what strangers say. Do what you are comfortable with- if you aren't comfortable having a shower you could tell her that if people want to give you a gift they are more than welcome to, but no one should feel pressured by having a shower. I am sure if it is your mom that she didn't mean anything by it and perhaps doesn't see it being a problem. That might mean it isn't a problem in her general circle of friends and family.
How do you feel about it- are you seriously uncomfortable about it or one the fence and unsure?
truthfully I feel weird about it. My husband thought it would be a good idea in the beginning but we Google'd it and read mixed reviews. I'm personally ok with not having one. I figure, save the money..
Sounds decided then. You could always ask your mom for an alternative if she is really upset- I like the idea of the brunch that was suggested by someone else. She probably just wants to feel involved and is excited. You know how grandmas can be.
Sounds decided then. You could always ask your mom for an alternative if she is really upset- I like the idea of the brunch that was suggested by someone else. She probably just wants to feel involved and is excited. You know how grandmas can be.
My children will be 6 years apart. I read somewhere that having a second baby shower can seem selfish. What do you all think?
I'm only asking for feedback and I'm not insisting on having another one. Someone offered and I said no but the one who offered become upset. So I'm asking your thoughts, not to make comments that may offend. Thanks.
We did give you our thoughts. You chose to be offended.
No where does it say our responses have to be what you want to hear.
And I have a burning feeling that, yes, you do think you should have a shower being you pointed out your kids will be 6 years apart, like, it's a valid reason to have a second shower.
And I really don't care if someone has a second shower thrown for them; I'd go to one for a friend or cousin if someone was throwing one. But I understand why second showers/sprinkles are considered rude and tacky.
you have a burning feeling yet you don't know me from adam? And it was part of the question (them being six years apart) not a "valid reason". Don't assume anything honey. But thanks. I'm done with this convo.
Then why even mention how far apart they will be unless you think/feel it's a valid reason to have a second shower? What did that tidbit of info add to your OP if it wasn't relevant in any way?
And typically, when posters come back here all defensive about something they said, we've hit the nail on the head and they don't like admitting we pegged them.
Omgosh.. you really think you proved a pt.. haha.. ok. I'm starting to laugh at every last one of your replies.. have a great day
Nope. A Baby Shower is to celebrate the entrance into Motherhood. You only do that once. The Mother is the Guest of Honor (not baby as sometimes trotted out as an acceptable reason). You are celebrating Motherhood as a new journey.
You can do a Sip n' See once baby is a couple months old for baby's debut if you choose. That way you can "celebrate the baby" as the guest of honor.
Some regard second (and 3/4/5th) showers as selfish because you've already gotten plenty of gear/clothes from the first shower. Technically you should have all you would need. It's asking for more stuff from peopr who have already been very generous.
I like that idea. Thanks. I had a feeling it wouldn't be a good idea anyway. I've never heard of a Sip n see.
I can't keep track of which random person is saying what, all the generic avatars are the same...
Anyway, I'm not sure what the problem is. You sound like you know what second showers are tacky so idk what the point of this thread was? To hear from moms who had second showers and want to tell you because THEY did it it makes them okay?
I honestly thought there was nothing wrong with getting opinions. But there is a way to state what you feel without coming off rude. It seems like some of you ladies don't know the meaning of it. If you think no then just state "no I don't think it's a good idea" etc. But comments like "it's not anyone's problem you gave your stuff away" "cool.it with the tude". Some of you ladies have given great feedback and opinions/ideas that I've read even by saying no second shower. And I'm cool with that. I can ask whatever I want on a forum.. doesn't mean you have to respond or even respond with nasty response. Anyway. Thank you for those who gave ideas and not insults. I didn't think that posting to a forum meant getting rude respones. Furthermore, I didn't think that by responding to what I thought was rude was wrong either. Anyway, I'm done. Have a great one all.
I honestly thought there was nothing wrong with getting opinions. But there is a way to state what you feel without coming off rude. It seems like some of you ladies don't know the meaning of it. If you think no then just state "no I don't think it's a good idea" etc. But comments like "it's not anyone's problem you gave your stuff away" "cool.it with the tude". Some of you ladies have given great feedback and opinions/ideas that I've read even by saying no second shower. And I'm cool with that. I can ask whatever I want on a forum.. doesn't mean you have to respond or even respond with nasty response. Anyway. Thank you for those who gave ideas and not insults. I didn't think that posting to a forum meant getting rude respones. Furthermore, I didn't think that by responding to what I thought was rude was wrong either. Anyway, I'm done. Have a great one all.
I guess you missed the part where they were speaking hypothetically about the reasons people come up with to have second showers. Reading comprehension does wonders. And telling you to cool it with your attitude isn't rude, it's pointing out your rude behavior.
I honestly thought there was nothing wrong with getting opinions. But there is a way to state what you feel without coming off rude. It seems like some of you ladies don't know the meaning of it. If you think no then just state "no I don't think it's a good idea" etc. But comments like "it's not anyone's problem you gave your stuff away" "cool.it with the tude". Some of you ladies have given great feedback and opinions/ideas that I've read even by saying no second shower. And I'm cool with that. I can ask whatever I want on a forum.. doesn't mean you have to respond or even respond with nasty response. Anyway. Thank you for those who gave ideas and not insults. I didn't think that posting to a forum meant getting rude respones. Furthermore, I didn't think that by responding to what I thought was rude was wrong either. Anyway, I'm done. Have a great one all.
Oh. So you do whatevah you want and no one else can. Got it.
Re: *
You can do a Sip n' See once baby is a couple months old for baby's debut if you choose. That way you can "celebrate the baby" as the guest of honor.
Some regard second (and 3/4/5th) showers as selfish because you've already gotten plenty of gear/clothes from the first shower. Technically you should have all you would need. It's asking for more stuff from peopr who have already been very generous.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
This month alone, I have been invited to 2 showers where both moms have a 2 year old. They are calling it a "Sprinkle" so the gifts are smaller or just bring a pack of diapers.
I think it's a bit tacky, but lots of mom's are having a second shower these days (or at least where I live). Maybe times are changing...
As far as timing, I was having a RCS and was unsure about the recovery (first one was really rough) so we didn't set a date until after she was born. Recovery was a breeze so we ended up doing it the Saturday after she was born (she was 6 days old, we'd been home for 4). We had some family in town just for the week and a lot of friends that were anxious to meet the baby. I felt great so there was no reason to wait. This time we will probably do the same- just wait and see how I feel. When I am home, I'll decide when I want to do it and we'll go from there.
I have been approached by 2 people to throw me another shower. I'm having twins and will be 4.5 years apart from my first. I declined both because we don't need much but one of those is dead set on having one. I have read posts on here about it being inappropriate but every person I ask IRL (even a couple people in other states) have told me it is a celebration of the baby and they don't see anything wrong with it. These are the same people that would be invited to the shower, so I think it is just perspective. I have been to "sprinkles" before and have never felt that it was odd or inappropriate but that is just me.
Just asking for feedback.. didn't ask whose problem it was if I gave anything away.
Declining a shower isn't rude. And that is exactly why second showers are rude. Declining may be fine, but if it's a close friend or family member you'll likely feel bad saying no (even though it's perfectly fine to) so those guests that happily come likely felt pressured to be there. Do you really want an AWish party knowing that your guests probably resent being there and forming over more money solely because you chose to procreate?
No where does it say our responses have to be what you want to hear.
And I have a burning feeling that, yes, you do think you should have a shower being you pointed out your kids will be 6 years apart, like, it's a valid reason to have a second shower.
And I really don't care if someone has a second shower thrown for them; I'd go to one for a friend or cousin if someone was throwing one. But I understand why second showers/sprinkles are considered rude and tacky.
you have a burning feeling yet you don't know me from adam? And it was part of the question (them being six years apart) not a "valid reason". Don't assume anything honey. But thanks. I'm done with this convo.
How do you feel about it- are you seriously uncomfortable about it or one the fence and unsure?
No Then why even mention how far apart they will be unless you think/feel it's a valid reason to have a second shower? What did that tidbit of info add to your OP if it wasn't relevant in any way?
And typically, when posters come back here all defensive about something they said, we've hit the nail on the head and they don't like admitting we pegged them.
Omgosh.. you really think you proved a pt.. haha.. ok. I'm starting to laugh at every last one of your replies.. have a great day
Omgosh.. really.. lol.. ok
I like that idea. Thanks. I had a feeling it wouldn't be a good idea anyway. I've never heard of a Sip n see.
Anyway, I'm not sure what the problem is. You sound like you know what second showers are tacky so idk what the point of this thread was? To hear from moms who had second showers and want to tell you because THEY did it it makes them okay?