Just venting..

kendy20

Sooooo, here I am making dinner and DD starts acting tired and needs a short nap before her next feeding. I tell DH that he needs to walk with her and shhh her in order for her to go to sleep. She tends to fight it and will fuss for a good five minutes. Well DH walked with her for a minute, literally, and then comes to me and says he's just going to leave her in her RnP and let her cry herself to sleep. Uh no! Had to stop making dinner and walked around with her, bounced a little and what do you know? She's asleep within 5 minutes. Yes she cried and squirmed but that's just how she is when she's fighting it. He didn't wanna take the time to get her sleep and didn't want to deal with her crying. Doesn't help that UFC just started and he was wanting to watch that. Basically I'm just frustrated that he couldn't take time, maybe ten minutes, to get her to sleep without wanting to just let her cry by herself. I deal with this all day long and he can't handle it one time. He's normally really good with helping me with her but not tonight I guess. Ugh sorry so long just needed to vent.

skyrockets

I hear ya. Just because I'm the milk truck doesn't mean I always have to cuddle and comfort!

yepyepsms

ltay1982 said:

I hear ya. Just because I'm the milk truck doesn't mean I always have to cuddle and comfort!

This exactly, amen!!!!

ksyknelvr73

DH does this crap too. Especially during MOTN wake-ups, which aren't that frequent. DS has a cold right now and so this week he has been having coughing fits that wake him up. Usually only once a night which isn't even that big of a deal. The first night he did it, I got up, changed him, and rocked him back to sleep. Maybe a whole 15 minutes? The next night, I told H it was his turn b/c I had done it the night before. He goes in there, changes him, rocks him for ONE MINUTE, then comes barreling in our room (at 2:00am, mind you), saying "I need you to help me! He won't go back to sleep for me!". REALLY?

bazingaa

I feel for you! My DH has been gone all week on business and of course this is the week that DS is sleeping like crap. I've gotten no sleep. When DH walked in the door he announced how tired he was. I seriously considered slapping him, but opted for the evil eye instead.

haylo33

DS fights sleep during the day if I don't get him down the second he gets tired. I know how hard it can be.

kendy20

@mary97‌ , I completely agree with the whole men not realizing how calming patience can be for babies. I keep telling him if he's frustrated, she's just going to fuss longer and longer. Maybe one day it will click. This morning I went to take a shower, told DH that dd would be getting tired shortly and his face was priceless. He looked terrified and told me to take a quick shower....nice hot shower for me ;-).

bridetobe9132013

My DH does this stuff! He is a great husband and father but as a first time dad, is clueless with DD. He doesnt understand why she cries and gets frustrated. He thinks he is going to toughen her up at 3 months... umm I dont think so! He made a bottle today that was pretty cold and she didnt want it so I asked him to warm it a little and he started arguing and saying that it wasn't too cold and how will she ever like ice cream if she doesnt like cold stuff... really? He gave her a bath the other night because I asked him to and i could hear her screaming up in her bedroom. I go up there to check and he is saying "she has no reason to cry". I tried explaining to him that he doesnt like being cold after his shower, so why should she like being cold after her bath? Ugh! We are at the in laws for the weekend and last night his mom rocked DD to sleep and set her in the bouncy seat. We were starting a movie and I wanted to hold and cuddle DD so I got her out of the bouncy seat and I hear her from across the room "Was she sleeping when you took her out of there?" Clearly she meant... why would i take her out when she was fine. She is MY baby... dont tell me what to do! When we first got to their house, I handed DD to my bro in laws gf because she hasn't seen DD in a month. I then go to make a bottle and after I have the water in the bottle, I turn around to get the powder and literally ran into mil as she is in my way trying to get the powder for the bottle. It would have been much easier for me to have gotten it myself. I know she is trying to be helpful but she needs to remember I do this all day every day. I have it under control! Its like she obsesses over DD! Sorry this is so long... turned into a big, much needed vent!

kendy20

@bridetobe9132013‌ at least your hubs gives dd a bath. Mine won't. He thinks it's inappropriate. So I bath her, feed her (bf) and do motn feedings.

flockofmoosen3

Weird, my husband also hands baby girl back to me the SECOND she starts fussing. I have been trying to give her to him more in the evenings so he gets more practice but he really doesn't hang on to her for very long before he disappears upstairs. He says that she prefers me he doesn't have the "magic boobs".

In no way do I resent my time with my daughter. I love staying home and spending all day with her, but i also need her to spend time with others, especially him. That said, he has taken her for a couple hours at a time so i could go out on my own... as long as he has bottles only.

bridetobe9132013

@kendy20 yes dh will do anything I ask. I am grateful for that I just wish he would step up more. When she starts crying, I wish he would go see what's wrong and comfort her. I have mentioned concerns to him in the past and I will again if I need to. I am not trying to take over this post but I felt like this question is on kind of the same subject... for sahm's do you do all motn feedings? Since dh works full tine, i do them all during the week, which are really morning feedings because she sleeps until 6-8. I've also been doing weekends (dh doesn't work on weekends) but I feel like I should have one day to sleep in. I know it sounds selfish and I haven't said anything to him yet, just getting opinions.

kendy20

I do all of motn feedings too. SAHM also, but I figure I have to get up to pump anyways but it would be nice if on the weekends DH at least offered. DH is a hard sleeper and never hears LO when she wakes and cries.

jsaffer01

MH will do things if I ask him too. Just last night I was getting myself ready so we could go out and celebrate our 2yr anniversary. And LO was so overtired that he just constantly cried and when he gets like that he just wants to be held and after like 10mins of complete fussing around he would normally fall asleep. So while I was doing my hair I look over and see MH asleep on the couch and LO screaming in the swing. So I wake up DH and tell him he needs to hold him and rock him to sleep. That lasted all of 2mins. He put him down and said he'll fall asleep on his own. Uh no he won't, not when he is like this. So after I did my hair I picked him up to calm him down and then my mom showed up so I handed him off to her so I could finish getting ready. And I believe he fell asleep shortly after.

I'm not a SAHM I work full time and I still have to get up with LO. He sleeps through the night. From 8:30-6:30 usually. But MH will just sleep, so I'm usually the one getting up with him. There are times where I asked MH to get up with him and he does, but I have to wake up to get MH to wake up. And then it's really hard for me to go back to sleep. So I feel ya ladies on just wanting 1 night to sleep in. I would love that too.

bridetobe9132013

There have been a few times I have asked DH to get up with DD if I wasn't feeling well. Like others have said, I wind up being awake anyways because he doesnt know our "morning routine." He will come back 5-10 minutes later and ask where something is while im thinking "you should have been feeding her by now."