Feeling Blah

rcadams

I'm 22 weeks along in my first pregnancy and starting to feel really down. I'm excited about the baby coming, but have been really emotional and crying a lot lately.  I'm feeling really isolated and lonely. I work from home and my friends and I all have weird schedules that don't allow us to really spend time together and I'm the first to get pregnant. They don't understand anything that I'm going through and I try to keep baby talk to a minimum anyway. My fiance is happy, but doesn't really seem into the pregnancy; while he'll look at baby stuff or names if I ask him and he's been to all my appointments, he's just not as outwardly excited as I am. I feel like it's because this is his third (he was married before), and he's just going with the flow. Plus, let's face it, he's a dude and still can never understand anything that's happened so far. My parents live close and I'm close to them, but my mom's last baby was me and that was over 30 years ago, so she remembers some of her pregnancy, but not most of the things I usually have questions about. I really feel like I just want someone to talk to who knows how I'm feeling, or someone to compare swollen ankles with, or eat ice cream with, or talk about baby stuff, so I figured I'd give this a try. Thanks for reading my ramble.

minirella

^^agree with previous posters. You can also check meet-up.com and they might have something for pregnant women.

rcadams

Thanks ladies. I'll definitely take your advice and try some stuff out. I feel somewhat better just knowing someone else is listening.

jennypolkadots

Look into local moms groups. The best place to start is local pregnancy/baby boutiques or googling online. Also joining clubs where other mothers will be... prenatal yoga, prenatal fitness programs, taking birth classes, etc. The Bump is great but it's online, not real support. You need face to face interaction. Don't be shy about talking to pregnant women you meet, most of them also want some friends who are going through the same stuff. 

If you feel up to it, you may also look into volunteering just to get out of the house. It would be really isolating for anyone to just work at home and not have regular time with friends. 

Your fiance may get more involved once you start showing. I hear this is pretty common. 

I am also the first of my college friends to have a baby, and the first in our families by about a decade. I reconnected with an old friend who just had her first and that has helped a lot. I also do prenatal yoga and meet with other women who are working with my midwife practice. 

Ninnie1204

I hear you- I am 20 weeks along and most of my friends are not expecting/don't have kids. So sometimes it does make me feel lonely. And everyone reacts differently to pregnancy, so your partner is entitled to react differently than you. So when I read your post I could really empathize.

I think the hormones and body changes take an emotional toll as well. I know that even calling friends or going for a walk helps to brighten my mood. Getting out of the house might help- even to just run an errand. I have been feeling blah too- but I think mine is less about being lonely and more about feeling nervous and a bit scared about the changes that are coming, as the baby and I continue to grow, and as we welcome her into our family. I think what you are going through is normal, but yeah, sounds like adding some more social contact could really help. Take good care of yourself and hang in there!! This is a big change and its hard when you don't have people in your immediate circle who know what its like.