The Death of a Baby
shellybean3788
member
My family and I are reeling today after the loss of my 1-day-old cousin. He was born in a hospital on September 2nd, and died September 3rd due to unknown causes, at which point his body was sent off for autopsy. Results are in, and it turns out he was perfectly healthy with no problems except that he had an extremely high amount of morphine in his body at the time of his death.
Since the autopsy, we've found out that the mother was given morphine during labor on top of her epidural, and she and the baby had a reaction to it. She was rushed for an emergency C-section, and afterward the baby was given no anti-opiate medication to counteract the effects of the morphine. He was also not sent to the NICU. He died later that night, still in the hospital, in his basinet while his mother slept.
I'm 20 weeks pregnant, planning a home birth with a midwife. I've often heard stories about negligence and unnecessary interventions/whatnot in hospitals, but this is one of those things you think will never happen to you or yours until it does. As I sit here, knowing that the baby's body is currently being sent off to a lab in Atlanta for criminal investigation, I can't help being overwhelmed with paralyzing fear. Fear of being transferred, fear of my baby dying, and as I think these selfish thoughts, I have an overwhelming sense of guilt. How can I think of my own baby at a time like this!?
I can't help but wonder how I could protect my own baby in the event that I have to transfer. It seems strange that I've developed such a phobia of going to the hospital to give birth, when most women have the opposite fear and wonder how on earth any sane person could give birth at home. I have no idea how to react, or what to say, and now I have to decide if I can put on my black dress and go up there to this funeral and see that dead baby, and carry that image to my own birth. But how can I not? No one would ever understand.
Re: The Death of a Baby
I spoke to my midwife about it, via text. Her first reaction was general disgust in the negligence of the hospital/staff. She said he should've been in the NICU, and he should've been given drugs to reverse the effect of the morphine.
We are meeting on the 12th and I'm sure she'll have words for me, but in the meantime it feels like walking in some kind of nightmare.
I'm sure you realize this, but nothing your aunt did or didn't do caused this tragedy. You can take comfort in knowing that cases like this are exceedingly rare and most moms and babies make it through birth just fine. I think a big part of labor, no matter what type of birth you are planning, is the understanding that things might not go as planned and nothing you do will change that. And, at least in my mind, there's little use in worrying about something you can't change. I know it doesn't make it easier, though.
BFP#2: EDD 2/11/14, MMC confirmed 7/15/13 (growth stopped at 6 weeks), D&C @ 12 weeks 7/25/13
BFP#2: EDD 2/11/14, MMC confirmed 7/15/13 (growth stopped at 6 weeks), D&C @ 12 weeks 7/25/13
I'm not a nurse or any kind of medical professional. I don't want to misrepresent myself.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
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I think the best thing you can do is educate yourself. Ina May's child birth book is very empowering and informative. There also are a number of great resources out there that offer evidence based information. As other ladies have said, you will be faced with a number of decisions during your pregnancy, labor, and after and the best thing you can do is arm yourself with as much information as possible so you can make an informed decision. I also think that using a MW will help you to have a drug free/lower intervention birth as they tend to be more supportive of a "natural" process and letting a woman's body follow a natural pathway to giving birth. Definitely keep your MW in the loop about your fears as she will be able to answer questions and point you to additional resources as you prepare for your own birth experience. Finally, have you considered hiring a doula? It might be something to look into if you feel like you want another person present to advocate for you during your birth.
Something to keep in mind: some people have genetic mutations that result in higher levels of opioids being transferred to the baby. These mutations are more common than you might think but are easily tested for (look up pharmacogenetic testing). They can also lead to increased side effects or decreased response to meds.