Court

VedaFlash

I received paperwork changing the days for my DD.  Everything was supposed to show 50/50 and her dad wouldn't be paying child support anymore.  I didn't sign it because it was not quite 50/50.  I just got a notice to appear in court later this month for a status hearing.  Does this mean that what the paperwork says will go through now even though I didn't sign it?  Or will this be a chance to change it so it is 50/50?  I've never done this before and have no clue what I'm doing.  I don't have a lawyer for this since I can't afford it.  I did pay $25 for a consultation with a lawyer to ask some questions so maybe I could do something like that again to ask more questions about this?  If anyone has advice I would appreciate it.  Thanks.

cole2144

What does not quite 50/50 mean?

Ilumine

How can you just not sign something and then not follow through?  

If you did not like the proposal, why didnt you at least propose something else?  

VedaFlash

I get three days and he gets four days.  I asked him to change it so we could have the fourth day split between us so I could have some weekend time with her.  In essence I get three week nights with DD.  He said he didn't want to change the paperwork and that's why I didn't sign it, as to not agree to it.  Someone told me it was just going to go through as what he had written up after a certain time period whether I signed it or not.  I didn't think this would just go away, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do?  Will I go to court and have to go through mediation?  Will I have to sign this paperwork when I go to court anyways?  If I could afford a lawyer to ask these questions I would but there is really no way.  I checked with the free legal aid and they won't deal with these cases.  I've been thinking that I just have to agree to this whether I like it or not.  Guess it's better than not having any time with her at all.

ambrvan

I don't think that it will "just go through" error being signed. A judge has to rule on it if parties do not agree. The judge may choose to rule in favor of the paperwork drawn up already, but it won't just default go into effect.

Since you don't have an attorney, I would go to court and request mediation. Go prepared with a list of what you want changed about the currently proposed agreement.

XH doesn't want to have to draw up new papers over something he doesn't care about because it means his lawyer had to draw them up and he has to pay for them. If he will agree to your proposals, I doubt see any reason not to split the cost of drawing up new paperwork. It might make him more receptive. JMO.

freeatlast2014

I would absolutely NEVER agree to not having weekend time with my kids. I don't blame you for not signing but you need to figure out how to go about having your input considered.

carebear939

File a motion with the court asking for the schedule you believe is fair and why it is in the best interest of your child.  Also state your views and why you refused to sign the paperwork.  Include a detailed schedule including holidays and attach any documentation you have.  You don't need to have an attorney to file a motion and you should be able to download any paperwork or get an example of what a motion should look like from the court website.  A judge can only consider the evidence presented so it is important you have something filed before your court date.  I have to say that even with 50-50 it does not necessarily mean there will be no child support.  DH and his ex had 50-50 to begin with and he had to pay child support due to his income being higher.  My advice on child support is let the courts decide using their formula and don't argue about it since it is something that will change periodically throughout the life of the child anyway. 

cole2144

carebear939 said:

File a motion with the court asking for the schedule you believe is fair and why it is in the best interest of your child.  Also state your views and why you refused to sign the paperwork.  Include a detailed schedule including holidays and attach any documentation you have.  You don't need to have an attorney to file a motion and you should be able to download any paperwork or get an example of what a motion should look like from the court website.  A judge can only consider the evidence presented so it is important you have something filed before your court date.  I have to say that even with 50-50 it does not necessarily mean there will be no child support.  DH and his ex had 50-50 to begin with and he had to pay child support due to his income being higher.  My advice on child support is let the courts decide using their formula and don't argue about it since it is something that will change periodically throughout the life of the child anyway. 

This is correct, we have 50/50 custody of my SD and still pay about $800 a month in support.

VedaFlash

I want to add that DD is 16 so I'm sure her input will be a factor.  She wants to live with her dad all the time and I am kind of at the point where I don't want that to happen so I'll take what I can get.  Therapy has been helpful throughout this process but when it comes to the courts, I have no clue what I'm in for.  Here's what I'm afraid of:  What if judge asks her what she wants and says ok fine you can live with your dad all the time?  What if I go in and ask for the one weekend day to share and then it turns into a back and forth that ends with her living with her dad?  I fear this happening, even though there is really no legit reason why it should.  This is only a recent change, that DD asked her dad for and he wants to let her live with him all the time.  Everything was worked up to 50/50(ish) over time; he used to have her one night per week.  She asked for more time with him here and there and I would never say no.  My concern is not the child support at all.  It is my parenting time with my DD.  Thank you all for your advice, although I'm still not sure what I should do.   

cindyNmark2010

FYI, it depends on the state but I'm pretty sure in some the age is 14 that the child gets to have input as to where they want to live and the judge decides accordingly.  You may want to do some research on what the laws are in your state. 

ambrvan

And also, "input" is not the same as decision making power. I would *think* that although a judge may consider a minor's wishes, they probably would not take parenting time completely away from one parent just because a teenager doesn't want to live there anymore.

nicolerae90

Considering that you want to split the forth day, its still be considered 4 days, do you know what i mean? The courts count over nights not days. And another factor would be your child. With her stating she wants to be with dad more..it may remain. 3-4 is considered 50/50 in most places. Maybe try alternating week to week. Or one week you have 3 and he has 4 then flop? Im going through a full blown custody battle now and they could only make it as jointly as they possibly could. Meaning during school year DD is with dad except for my weekends off and I get all holiday vacations and during the summer she is mine.

o_so_in_love

To make it 50/50 can you not suggest every other week and trade off holidays?

jr0310

Every other week is really hard on the kid. My stepson was every other week before his bm went batshitcrazy and the transition is so tough.

If I were you, I'd suggest 4/3/3/4 if you want true 50/50.