~ TTCAL check-in 9/4 ~

Maybe Joleisa

Welcome to TTCAL check-in! Please don't be shy in asking the PGAL/PAL ladies questions if you have them. 

Where are you in your TTCAL journey? 

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? 

QOTW: Have you told anyone you are actively TTC? Have people asked you if/when you will TTC again?

Open Topic: What is on your mind this week?

stefuge

Where are you in your TTCAL journey? Cycle 1, CD 9

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? Nope

QOTW: Have you told anyone you are actively TTC? Have people asked you if/when you will TTC again? We've been pretty open with it, actually. We've told people we had to wait at least a year before trying, and now that that time is up, a lot of friends and family know we could be trying soon.

Open Topic: What is on your mind this week? I've been really frustrated with MH (which is not great with O time hopefully coming soon!). Colton's first birthday was last week, no one in his family ever acknowledged it, called, texted, nothing. So, they totally forgot. When I asked MH how he was feeling with that, assuming he would say he was hurt or angry, he told me he was fine with it. It wasn't a big deal. I was shocked. Shocked they forgot and now shocked he doesn't even care that they forgot. So when a couple days later I confronted him about that, he told me he didn't feel like starting a fight and it was just easier to let it go. Ok I get that, but that's for like small, little, annoying things. Not like the fact that his entire family forgot our sons first birthday, and the first anniversary of his death. So basically, they didn't care enough to remember and he doesn't care enough to be upset or say anything to them. I am so upset and so hurt and feel like I fight for things that really matter to me, and I do not understand how he doesn't feel the same about this. So yeah. All of this anger and frustration is making it difficult for me to even think about babymaking time. Ugh. And I feel like this is all going to come to a head because we are going to visit them this weekend and I know I am going to have a hard time keeping my feelings to myself and that is going to make it even harder to let go of how I am feeling toward MH.

shandorfml2

**siggy 

@stefuge  I am so sorry no one acknowledged your son's birthday. That totally sucks!!! 

CheesyPeas

Well I'm now on cd 2 of my first unbenched cycle, so I guess I can officially join this check in! I don't feel hopeful about ttc since my last cycle was far from ideal for conceiving (8 day LP) but I think we'll still give it a try.

I have an appointment with the hematologist next week to discuss what he thinks I should do if we conceive again. He might order more tests too. I don't think there will be any reason to put things on hold coming out of that appointment though. I'm pretty sure his answer is just going to be Lovenox shots after confirmed pregnancy, so we'll keep moving ahead with trying to complete step 1.

QOTW: some friends from TB know that I'm jumping in this cycle but no one outside of them knows. DH's cousin and I are Fertility Friend friends, so she'll notice something is up with my chart if she looks at it.

stefuge

@CheesyPeas‌ -GL with your first cycle off of the bench! This is our first cycle as well, and I'm a bit nervous. I know a BFN will be hard to see and yet I think I feel equally nervous about a BFP. FX for you!

Maybe Joleisa

@stefuge‌ : How did the visit go this weekend? I'm so sorry they did not acknowledge Colton's 1st birthday. I would absolutely feel hurt & upset, as well. ((hugs))

@CheesyPeas‌ : Were you seeing a hematologist prior to your loss or was your MTHFR just recently found? GL jumping off that bench!

stefuge

@Maybe Joleisa‌ - well we survived the weekend. MH called his parents the night before we left and talked with them about how upset we were that they didn't call on Colton's birthday and that they forgot. They admitted they totally forgot and apologized, which didn't make it better but at least it was all out and in the open. Although while we there my MIL pulled me aside to tell me how sorry she was and I could tell she was waiting for me to say "it's okay" or "I understand" and I had told myself I wouldn't do that because I don't think it's okay that they forgot and I don't understand at all. So while she kept saying she was sorry and giving me all these excuses and then saying how there's really no excuse, all I would say was "okay, thank you for telling me " and "I appreciate you saying that" because I was not going to let her off the hook that easily. She should feel bad. And she actually told me that she thought about us all day long and just didn't call, which was a total lie because she told MH that they forgot entirely, but whatever. I'm still not feeling very forgiving yet but the weekend wasn't too bad. More importantly MH and I had a good talk about it and how we were feeling and everything that was said and I am feeling much better.

bunnybun4

late to the check-in but here I am:

where are you in your ttcal journey?  on bcp awaiting instructions for when our ER will be in October...FET with PGS in Nov-Dec.

QOTW: I'm sure people assume but I keep quiet about it...our parents and one of my friends know about the fact that we are now having to do ivf.

what's on your mind this week: just constantly freaking out that ivf won't work...trying so hard to be positive and have a positive outlook but it's so damn hard when it always turns out to be bad news in this area.

CheesyPeas

@MaybeJoleisa, we were not seeing a hematologist before our most recent loss.  It was our loss of Layla that triggered my doctor to run a bunch of blood work which is how the MTHFR was discovered.  My Protein S was also low, so she retested me at 8 weeks post partum, and it was still low.  It was the Protein S that got me the referral since my MTHFR mutuation is heterozygous and not concerning to her absent other clotting factors.

stefuge

@bunnybun4‌ - ((hugs)). Glad to hear you have a plan set up for ivf and FX.

schulme2

Hey ladies! I know I've been gone for awhile but I just wanted to stop in and see how everyone is doing! @stefuge‌ I am so glad that you guys have officially started ttc and so sorry about your inlaws not acknowledging Colton.

We're still ttc but I feel like we're getting close! I started my first round of femara this cycle with trigger shot this past Saturday. Hoping this is it! So I'm just about 1-2 DPO (hopefully).

No one except my other BLM know we've been TTC. Just not ready for my family's worry to be mounted on top of mine.

Praying for all you ladies all the time!

stefuge

@schulme2‌ - GL with this cycle! I hope the Femara makes the difference!