rough daycare transitions

realityspeller

my LO is 19 months old and has attended the same daycare since she was 7 months old. last week she was transitioned to a new classroom which was physically in a different room, she has 1 new 'friend' and 4 'friends' from her last classroom, and she has1 teacher from her old classroom and 2 new teachers.overall the transition seemed to be pretty minimal and last week went fine, no problem. this week she is really struggling. she is super fussy at daycare (totally fine at home) and is fighting going to daycare in the mornings. 

my babe has always had a lot of separation anxiety with me but never at/with daycare, which she has always loved. everyone talks about crying in the parking lot when they first take their LOs to daycare, i was totally fine last year. but yesterday i cried both times i left her at daycare (i went once to try to help her calm down). i've never seen my baby so clingy and so sad. i GUESS that she is having a hard transition but it seems like her transition is pretty minimal. i'm really clueless about what i should/should not do. let her work it out? try to stay every day to help her?  etc? any thoughts or suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.

jbatch

I would not stay or go back until the end of the day. It is harder on them if you come back. Most children get over it very quickly but if you come back it takes even longer to calm them down the next time. My suggestion would be to drop off and leave. if you are very worried call a little later and she how she is doing but do not go back!

[Deleted User]

Kiss and dash. Lingering or return only confuses then. It is a short term fix that creates a long term problem.

Talk to the teachers about helping redirect her attention at drop off. Notice I didn't use distract. Let her know you are leaving; don't just disappear. Say buy, love you, I will be back later.

litzo27

Have you asked how long she is upset for? Often times as you soon as you walk out of the door if you stop and listen for a bit you hear that they stopped crying within a minute. I think for *most* kids the kiss and dash is the best strategy. That's what I do with DS2. However, with DS1 it was the opposite - he would be upset if I left rapidly so we had a routine where we would put away his things together and read 2 books. It took 5 minutes but then he would happily go play. So, like I said, for most kids, not lingering is best, but you do have to consider your kid's personality and routine preference. And ask the teachers for suggestions. Some kids like it if they are offered a snack as soon as they come in, or if they are pulled into a fun activity right away. It will get better - DS2 moved from toddlers to Preschool today and he did great today but I'm expecting some adjustment mood swings in teh coming weeks.

djm31012

DS isnt doing great this week either. Yesterday I called to check in and they said he calmed down 10 minutes after we left and was fine the rest of the day. Today I think he was done crying by the time we left the building. I think the quick kiss and leaving is best..but you can definitely hang around outside and try to listen if you want--you will likely be surprised at how quickly they are over it and very happy! DS is 19 mos also, hes very clingly right now, so the age thing is definitely a factor.

MommyAtty

I can give you the opposing experience. DD goes through phases where she doesn't want to leave Grandma's at the end of the day. Cries and clings. I put her in her car seat, and by the time I have taken the 2 steps to my door, opened it, and gotten in, she's going, "Sing the ABC song, Mommy!" But what Grandma sees is, "Oh my god, I will die without you! How could you betray me this way? Please don't make me go!" I worked at a daycare in college and it was the same thing. Exceedingly rare for anyone to still be crying 5 minutes after drop- off. But if she thinks crying will bring you back, she will cry much longer.