Day 3: My milk is coming in. Our loss story. *Trigger*

tidepoolmama

I'm not sure if we're allowed to share our stories here? Please remove if not as I don't want to be insensitive. My story is below.

My milk is coming in today and that makes my loss seem much more difficult and real today so I had to reach out for support.

My original due date was January 3, 2015.

Our daughter Rose Naimia was born August 31 at 8:59pm and passed away peacefully in our arms two hours later. I was 22 weeks, 1 day pregnant. She weighed exactly 1 pound and was 9" long. Her name means comfort, happiness, tranquility, and peace. She was a little gift for us as our second child.

Pregnancy complications included a subchorionic hemmorage at 11 weeks, frequent bleeding due to placenta previa, bed rest, then strong, frequent contractions nightly for a week preceding her birth. I was given Procardia pills to stop the contractions but on Sunday night they did not work and labor progressed. My water broke at the hospital and there was nothing more we could do to try and stop it. Our care was respectful and excellent and we had the best case scenario out of a worst case experience.

stefuge

I am so sorry for your loss of sweet little Rose. What a beautiful name! No one wants to join this group but please know that we are here whenever you need us. These ladies have helped me through some of the worst days since the loss of our son. ((Hugs)).

erinel

I'm sorry for your loss.  It is difficult to see the evidence of being a mother (your milk) with no baby to hold, I'm glad that you found our board to give support.

CherryPicked

You are more than welcome to share your story here.  I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful Rose.

thiscoffeechick

I'm so sorry for your devastating loss. You are not alone here. My prayers are with you.

BrittianyM

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Rose. Sending thoughs and prayers your way.

tidepoolmama

Thank you all so much for your replies. It feels good to share. Totally hard to have milk and no baby to nurse. Is it also normal to feel panicked that I still look pregnant and don't want to? I have a belly band from my first but it's too large for my size now so I may order a new one. I guess reality set in today. Hugs to you all for your thoughts. Thank you.

shandorfml2

*****siggy I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Rose ((((hugs)))

diamante1181

I'm so sorry for your loss. 

Noethola

***ticker***

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter Rose. It is hard to have the physical reminders of our loss such as our post partum bodies and the milk coming in. Its like a slap in the face, an insult to injury. I remember wrestling with myself: do I pump and donate in her memory, or just let things dry up. I couldn't stand to be reminded and so chose to dry it up. But seeing those milk droplets tore my heart apart as breastfeeding was something I was looking forward to. 

Please lean in to us as much as you would like. We hate being the club no one wants to join, but there is a great group of ladies here.  

mrslucid

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Mel&John2013

****siggy warning

I'm so sorry for your loss of sweet baby Rose. Such a beautiful name. 

VyD81

*siggy warning*

I'm sorry for the loss of sweet Rose Naimia, what a beautiful name. 

bunnybun4

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby, Rose.

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY***



Thank you for sharing your story of your sweet Rose; I'm so sorry for your loss. Like someone else said, it's a huge slap in the face to still feel the after-effects of birth (milk coming in, body still looking pregnant) with no baby to bring home. I felt panicked for weeks after losing my son, but I just bought bigger sizes of normal clothes instead of just wearing my maternity clothes around until I could get back into my normal clothes. It was too hard to even look at my maternity clothes for awhile after his loss.

I'm so sorry to welcome you here. I hope that we can be here for you as much as you need us. *hugs*

CheesyPeas

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Rose is a beautiful name, and I'm sure she was a beautiful baby.  Thank you for sharing your story.

tidepoolmama

Thank you all so much. What a relief it is just to post my feelings and know you all understand.

msunshine123

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I love the name you chose for her - Rose Naima and the meaning behind it is just beautiful. It is so hard when your milk is coming in after the loss - I hope you are doing better soon. ((hugs))

ChellsnCheese

Words can not express the emotions and hugs I wish I could share with you about the loss of your little Rose, I lost my son on July 24th at 14 weeks my Due date was 1/15, my milk came in after they induced labor. I know how hard it is to feel that physical effects on top of the emotional and I will be keeping you in my thoughts and sending some prayers up for you and your family. I hope that all the physical effects don't carry on to long and anytime you want to message me feel free.