Intro

bansel92813

I wanted to take the time to introduce myself. I never really participated in my march 2015 group. But I have already found this one so helpful! My dh and I went in for a routine appointment at 10w5d. During the ultrasound the doctor didn't find a heartbeat and our baby was only measuring at 9w0d. This is our first baby after trying for a year and we were devastated. My doctor wanted us to get a second opinion from the hospital so the next morning we went and she got the same exact results. I opted for a D&C that day, which went pretty smoothly and I'm healing great. Emotionally it is so hard and some moments are better than others. My dh seems to be coping pretty well and is optimistic and trying again when we get the OK. But I am so scared to start all over again! What if it takes a year again? What if I miscarry again? What if I never have a full term/healthy baby that I can hold? I just keep thinking of the memories of getting a BFP for the first time ever and surprising my dh. I keep thinking of the first ultrasound at 6 weeks where we heard the strong heartbeat. And what's especially hard is the memories I have of the 24 hours from when we found out there wasn't a heartbeat to coming home from the D&C. I'm sure so many of you can relate with the questions I have and the memories I keep reliving! Thank you for reading this and I feel better already sharing all this with people who understand!

KingLED

I'm so sorry for your loss. 

Thinking about all the what-ifs can be so draining. Please be kind to yourself and try not to worry about them all right now. I know it's rough, but that line of thinking leads nowhere good. Take care of yourself.

Susannah Lee

So so sorry for your loss. I feel very much the same. I found out at 8w2d that I was pregnant with twins, but that their development was only at 6w with no heartbeats. Retested hcg a couple times (it was very high and dropping slowly) and did another scan several days later to verify, then ended up having a d&c last week at what would have been 9w3d. I had severe nausea the whole pregnancy and it ended up being for nothing. We had tried for 7 months (which I know isn't that long in the grand scheme of things) but it was our first pregnancy and meant so much. I'm completely devastated and worried about trying again and all of the what ifs. I wish I had something helpful to share, other than that I can relate and it totally sucks. I have seen a lot of positive stories about getting pregnant within a few months of a d&c, so here is hoping we fall into that category.

ctk181

I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our LO after discovering a MMC at 11 weeks (baby measuring 8 weeks). I felt all of the same things that you are feeling and my husband's reaction was very much like your husband's reaction. I think it is completely normal. I also had a March 2015 EDD. It is still so hard but it does seem to get a little better day by day. I hope you find the support you need here, it has certainly helped me. PM me if you ever want to talk. Take care of yourself. ((Hugs))

bansel92813

We are getting testing. We found out last Thursday there wasn't a heartbeat and I had the D&C on Friday. I had my follow up appointment this morning and he had the pathology report back (but still waiting on genetic) he said everything was normal except I had a slight infection in my uterus. I asked him if that could have caused the miscarriage and he said it could have. Which freaks me out! But I think I started getting an infection because the baby wasn't alive for 14 days before we discovered it. Thank you all so much for replying and comforting me. It has helped out a lot! I can already tell everyone is so supportive!!!

thiscoffeechick

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost two babies very early on and it's a heartache that few understand. This board is made up of very supportive women who will be here to listen when you want to share. I have found that journaling makes me feel better, reading postings on these and other boards, and I just signed up for a women's retreat.
I also feel better because I made a little memory box for my babies. I put in a photo of an ultrasound though it showed nothing, a bracelet we got on vacation before we lost the baby, the pee sticks... Having these items helps me remember my babies were real and my sadness is legitimate.
I also ordered the book "To Linger on Hot Coals" which is a collection of poems on miscarriage, stillbirth and child loss. Heartbreaking but makes me feel less alone in the world.
Prayers are with you.