ED issue...

silvie25mar

Hi Everyone, I'm sure some of you have read my previous posts about my marriage and the hardships we've had over the last 2 years due to my PPA/PPD having a snowball effect and the difficulties of being new parents. We took a month apart, and he lived separately. (very impulsive and not my choice) I thought it was the end, I went away on vacation for a few days to "cope" and to get away and when I came back we decided he would come back home and we would do our best to try and gain the trust back and repair the damage that we're both responsible for. That was at the end of June. Since then, it's been a slow and steady process into getting things back in order. I think we try and communicate better and some times it feels like we've taken a step back. I've started on Zoloft, and have hope this will make me an overall better and happier person to be around which was long overdue. We also finally took our trip away together (his idea) and this was one that was long overdue and much needed. Everything was great and we had a great time. in comes the problem- We've always had a good sex life, okay after DD it slowed down as expected but even throughout the diffficulties of the past year it's always been there. He is faced with what seems to be an ED problem right now. Over the course of a few weeks it seemed like he was struggling with keeping it...where it needed to be, it seemed like it was getting soft and there were a few times where he maintained it and others where there was just no use, it wasn't going to happen. Those times were maybe a handful, but over the course of the last week or two... he can't get it up at all. He said he can alone and is successful but can't seem to when we're together. I'm almost positive he is in his own head about it and if anything starts, he immediately waits for it to get hard and thinks about it when it doesn't. He's only in his early 30s, and says it isn't me and that mentally he is there. I'm trying not to take it personally but the insecurity of me feels like what if he doesn't feel the same way about me anymore and now it's really starting to show. Am I crazy???? or is this just "one of those things" I'm not sure how to approach this or handle it. I appreciate it's a sensitive issue especially for him, and we stopped for a week and the same thing happened. Any advice would be great. Thanks.

Helenahhandbasket

Has he has his testosterone levels tested lately?

Low T is a fairly common issue-- especially in new dads.  Is he willing to have some blood taken?  It could be an easy-ish fix if he's diagnosed.

 

Good luck!

silvie25mar

ClaryPax said:

I think you are taking it too personally.  I wouldn't take ED as someone is not attracted to me.  I would take it as either they are having a medical issue or they are stressed maybe.  Is he open to talking to his doctor about it? 

Thanks. I know you've been involved in some of my past posts. I guess i'm just still a little nervous it's other things and am trying to build up that trust that it isn't. I suppose it could be stress, but I think it really bothers him that it's happening because he doesn't know why. (or he isn't sharing) So it's a touchy subject to keep bringing up. I think he's open to talking to his doctor... if it comes up maybe i'll give him a push to do it.

jcwinsto

I would approach it like a practical matter rather than an emotional matter that is tied to your relationship problems.  If it was me I would say in the most caring way "Honey, I'm worried that it might be something related to your health.  Would you be up to getting some bloodwork done so we can stop the worry that you might be sick?"