I think I am numb (possible trigger warning)

tigerlynx31413

I feel like there is something wrong with me right now. I have been to several gatherings this last week where the notion of having a second child has been brought up, several times. My only response has been "Not yet, but maybe soon." I wasn't angry about anyone asking this. I wasn't even resentful of the fact that if I wouldn't have mc'd in January I would soon be welcoming my second. 

I was finally able to tell my Mother about my 2 MCs this last week and I am more angry that between her and DH they are treating me like glass that is easily breakable. I was helping my BFFs dad move and was ordered to not lift anything heavy. Then I am told I can't help my 65 year old mother cut her grass. I am so angry! I am not pregnant, nor am I trying yet. So what is the big deal if I cut the grass or lift things?!

Why am I so angry to being treated like glass, but have no reaction to something that is usually a big trigger for me?

Millimeter

I'm sorry

This whole thing can be a mind fluck. I hate how others treat you like kid gloves. It almost makes you feel like there is something wrong with you.

I would do what you are comfortable doing and your doctor says OK. Why put your life on hold or avoid doing things? It will just make you feel even worse and even more like there is something "wrong."

I feel your pain as my mom was/is the same. Just tell her you are a big girl and make your own decisions. Easier said than done, but know we all experience it too!

tigerlynx31413

Honestly, I don't know what to think. I've always hated being told I can't do something so I know that is mostly where the anger comes from, but I can't for the life of me figure out why the rest isn't bugging me. The people asking weren't exactly the group of people I would openly admit my MCs to, so maybe I just blocked myself from feeling the sting somehow. Thanks for the hugs ladies!

BLuvsE

Whatever you feel is normal as long as it is changing. Angry for a while then sad then numb then angry again for example is normal but if you get angry or some other dark emotion and can't snap out of it, you may need to seek help for depression. What you've described sounds normal and healthy. Your feelings are valid no matter what triggers them so don't allow yourself to feel guilty for being upset by the wrong things.

ellebelle2384

((hugs)) Your feelings are yours and are completely valid.  Don't feel guilty or like you're grieving "wrong".  One of the quotes that I keep telling myself as I go through the grieving process is this:

Reagan1010

I agree with @BLuvsE‌ and @ellebelle2384‌ I also think that the numbing feeling is sometimes our bodies way of protecting us. I find that if I'm extra stressed out or facing multiple problems, I sometimes feel numb or nonchalant about things that normally I would react the exact opposite to. It's almost like my subconscious knows I need a break. ((Hugs)) to you and know that you can vent/ get it all out here in a safe, supportive environment if you need to!