TTM about introducing a SO to your LO

Helenahhandbasket

Hi ladies-

I know there's a lot of you that have BTDT- so I am hoping for some advice.

I am dating someone, and it's gotten serious enough to where we have decided to be exclusive.  He's single, never been married, no kids and has expressed interest in meeting DD. Can I ask about personal experiences in this matter?

How long were you dating your SO before you introduced him/her to your LO?  What did you do for that first outing?  Any other tips?

If you are on mobile, my DD is 2.5.  Also, if it matters, I am in the process of getting divorced, but it's not yet finalized.  Any advice is appreciated.

jellybean529

Congrats!!! That's awesome news, so happy for you!

I say you maybe take your DD on a "play date" to the park and introduce him as "mommy's friend" to see how they hit it off. That way they can get used to each other on neutral grounds. Good luck to you!

Helenahhandbasket

Thanks @jellybean529-- I am cautiously happy too.  And in case you are wondering- it's not the starving artist guy ">

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Helenahhandbasket

becwheat said:

Personal experience?

Wait until you are super serious. A lot of people say 6 months and that is a good start, but really 6 months is different relationships id VERY different!

https://myattemptbga.blogspot.com/2013/09/introducing-bfgf.html

 

not trying to pimp my blog, but this is my take on this subject.

Thank you so much-- I totally value any input!  I will check out your blog.

MinnesotaMomma91

I say @becwheat has some great advice. My situation is different because my so has been in ds life since he was born.

Id say six months also

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MinnesotaMomma91

I want to add i dont think there is anything wrong with them meeting now. I think just introducing him to.your dd as a friend is fine. It gives her time to get to know him

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20thirteen

becwheat said:

MinnesotaMomma91 said:

I want to add i dont think there is anything wrong with them meeting now. I think just introducing him to.your dd as a friend is fine. It gives her time to get to know him

There is definitely a difference between introducing and bringing into your life. Also, at his age an innocent intro will not phase LO. If the child was older I wouldn't introduce at all until you were very serious. 

Definitely agree here.  I met all my dad's girlfriends after the divorce, he didn't think a time limit until things were serious was necessary.  

Helenahhandbasket

As always -- thanks for the sage advice.

@becwheat I read your blog post and LOL'd at the "farting in front of" stipulation.  Too funny!

jellybean529

::puts on judgy hat:: Just don't do like my sister did and move your BF into your house before you've even been dating for three months. 

Helenahhandbasket

jellybean529 said:

::puts on judgy hat:: Just don't do like my sister did and move your BF into your house before you've even been dating for three months. 

Oh lawd. 

Considering we live with my mom-- I can assure you that will not be happening!

MinnesotaMomma91

Helenahhandbasket said:

jellybean529 said:

::puts on judgy hat:: Just don't do like my sister did and move your BF into your house before you've even been dating for three months. 

Oh lawd. 

Considering we live with my mom-- I can assure you that will not be happening!

Haha i just had this aweful mental image of your mom walking into the kirchen in the morning and hes naked with his 'morning glory' flopping around. Aweful, but funny i know.

If it makes you feel better in my imagination he was hugh jackman

Ndm410

I say probably several months. If you choose to do it earlier as a friend try to make sure you are indeed acting like a friend, not a girlfriend, around dd. I know she's young so it isn't as big of a concern yet but since this may not be forever it might be good to go ahead and set your precedents early.

Good luck :-)