Our son was born at 33w4d a week ago tomorrow. My water broke last Saturday and I was on magnesium to hold off contractions until my second beta shot. The delivery was complicated by Chorio but thank god my son never contracted it. I went into labor Monday night and he was born Tuesday afternoon with the help of pitocin. We waited 3 whole days to hold him as he went straight to the NICU. He was on CPAP, then intubated for a pnemothorax which since has resolved and is now completely weaned off oxygen. He was under the lights for a few days but (fingers crossed) his bilirubin has been stable since yesterday morning. He is getting tube feed but when I am there once a day we are putting him to the breast for practice. He has made enormous strides in such a short length of time, he's our little fighter.
With being up pumping nightly, the hormones, having a baby in the NICU, the shock of the pre-term labor, having a shorter maternity leave, I feel like it's all finally hitting me and this morning I woke up unable to stop crying. Also, I think I am mourning the loss of a full pregnancy and it's hard to hang out in my BMB board. Obviously I am so happy to have my LO getting better every day, but I can't help all these strong feelings. I am a wreck.
Re: Son Callen born at 33w4d - Intro, looking for support.
***signature & ticker warning***
Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!
Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers
Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
Stopped BCP 4/2010.
Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN
IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013 ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt) Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.
If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!
I completely understand how you feel, I felt that way too. I had my LO at 29-6 and felt depressed over the NICU, missing out on the third tri, hormones, etc. I would feel jealous when I'd see other pregnant women or women leaving with their babies from the hospital. We were in for 66 days and came home on o2 and she's been amazing since.
What you're feeling is normal...let your self feel it and don't let anyone tell you differently. Take care of yourself too, along with your new family. Best of luck and congrats again
Me: 32, DH: 34 / TTC since February 2011 / SA: all normal, HSG: all clear! / on Lovenox for anticardiolipid antibodies
4 IUIs with Clomid, Letrozole, and Menopur. All BFN.
9/12: lap / hysteroscopy: found and removed mild endometriosis, cervical polyp, and 2 para-tubular cysts
5/13 IVF #1: Follistim, Menopur, Ganirelix, 10R/4M/4F, ET of 2, 5 cell and 4 cell, no frosties = BFN
12/13 IVF #2 = November / December 2013. Microdose Lupron Protocol: 15R/6M/6F, Froze all 6 due to high E2 and P4
FET 1: Jan 22, 2014 of one 4AB blast and one 3BB blast (3 blasts on ice!)
BFP on HPT 4dp5dt, Beta #1 9dp5dt: 310, Beta #2 11dp5dt: 899
First u/s on 2/17/14: TWINS!!!!! both w/HBs of 114 at 6w3d, HBs 150 and 152 at 7w5d
5/27/2014: Team purple!!!! EDD 10/10/2014 /
Baby Boy 4lbs 1oz, 17 inches
Baby Girl 3lbs 5oz, 16 inches
And big hugs. I promise it will get easier. You are doing awesome. Make sure you take care of yourself, too. I had a hard time going back to my BMB for a while. But eventually I was able to and now it's fun again Best of luck to you and come find us any time you need to vent!
I'm not new. I just hate The Bump.
I Peter 5:10 NKJV
But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.