Wedding Etiquette...

Barefoot84

A friend of mine is getting married today, an hour away. It's a small wedding (about fifty guests). When she sent out the invitations, I had told her I would do my best to attend, but it would depend on baby's arrival. I wrote to her a week ago to say that I was still waiting on baby, and probably wouldn't be able to make it, since it would be really early in my recovery to handle the drive. I didn't consider the possibility that I would be 40w4d pregnant with no sign of baby making his arrival. Do I go simply for the ceremony and cocktail, and leave before the meal, since she probably informed the restaurant we wouldn't be attending? Do I let her insist we stay for the meal and let her deal with making the changes? Or do I simply stay home, even if I don't have a valid excuse for missing the wedding, when she drove to our hometown, ten hours away, to be at my own wedding (I know the third option isn't nice, I just really don't feel like going to a wedding...)?

Barefoot84

KSKim said:

I think people would totally understand if you didn't go. Maybe go visit after the baby comes to show that you still care about her. Ask all about the wedding and make sure she understands that in any other case you would have been there.

Unfortunately, she lives really far now, and is only in town for her wedding. They're leaving for a honeymoon tomorrow and I won't be able to see her till they come back, probably after Christmas. If circumstances would have been different, I would have offered a girl's day earlier, and took her out for a pedicure and lingerie shopping, or something.

Barefoot84

babywinks said:

I don't think you should feel obligated to go. If you did decide to go, how far from your hospital would you be? If its further you can always use that as a reason, because honestly you could go into labor at any time. Also, keep in mind that everyone will ask you when you are do. When you say 4 days ago, they will inevitably tell you how to induce labor or some annoying story. If you think you might get stabby with them, I think it is completely reasonable for you to stay home.

But what if they have some way of inducing labor that I'm not aware of??? Also, I'm stabby with everyone these days... However, I'm starting to think that staying home wouldn't be absolutely selfish. The hospital is walking distance from my home and with a 40 hour labor with Tumaini, I'm not too worried this baby will just slip out.

Thanks everyone for making me feel that it would be okay to stay home. I wasn't really considering it, but now I am and it feels good.

KarmB

stay home and bounce on a yoga ball