January 2015 Moms
cmacias18
member
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Circumcision or not
cmacias18
member
My mom is pushing me not to snip. She tells me it's cruel the way it's done and she didn't have it done for my brothers. I always thought if I had a boy I would. I only have one medical benefit to defend my reason and that's lower the cancer risk later in life. Other then that the other reasons I have are superficial. My husband doesn't really want to discuss it yet. I think my baby would wonder why he would be different from his dad if I didn't or get that later in life from other kids. Has anyone else gone through this?
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Re: Circumcision or not
I find the whole "looking like his father" reason to be so ridiculous that it's laughable. Are they going to be whipping their dicks out at the dinner table and comparing notes? Based on that argument, if your daughter had smaller breasts than you do, would you get her a boob job at 16 so she'll "look like her Mom"? No, you wouldn't, because that's nuts, but for some reason people think that's a logical reason for circ'ing. That, and the locker room thing. At least 50% of boys are no longer circumcised, so he'll hardly be alone there.
My H is totally supportive of not circ'ing, but even if he wanted it, I'd put my foot down. It's a hill I'm willing to die on.
I believe it was said it's your decision, a few times. You asked a question and it was answered
FWIW about husbands: I've been trying to get DH to read a packet about common newborn testing and procedures for a month! He keeps brushing it off with "there's plenty of time to read it" and "we did it before and P was fine." Sigh, I feel your pain a bit on the husband front.
FWIW about circumcision: my son is not circumcised but his father is. He has yet to notice any difference other than he and dad have a penis but mom does not. If he does notice my husband decided that the benefit of DS remaining intact was more important than the slight discomfort of one awkward discussion as to why their penises(or friends/locker room)look different.
QUOTE FAIL......
Ditto!
OP, the responses were geared towards the "Circ or not to circ" part of your post, which is essentially a question, and you got answers as to what other people will/would do. The comments regarding his resembling his father (and my boob job analogy) were in direct response to your "look like his Dad" comment. No one has been mean or hurtful towards you, so I'm not sure where that's coming from, this thread (so far) has been tame and reasonable.
If you wanted to vent only, you should have posted something like "I'm not looking for opinions on whether or not circ'ing is a good idea, I just need to vent about my H's lack of initiative in this area." But, you didn't do that, hence the replies sharing different viewpoints and plans.
Now I know we're having a boy. My H and I haven't discussed it yet, but I agree that the first step is absolutely to do as much research as you can. Share this with your H. If you have a pediatrician already or plan to find one soon, talk to them as well. Maybe your H will respond better to a doctor than to an Internet source (even though there are plenty of reliable sources).
Take your time. Talk to him, listen to him. Don't expect him to make his decision in one conversation. Good luck!
Let your husband know that this particular subject is giving you anxiety and you want to talk to him about it now rather than later. Even if he is reserved he should understand your feelings and be willing to discuss it with you.
Good luck coming to a decision!
I am on the fence about it and want to go through more research and will definitely need my husband to weigh in heavily. It seems as though the ratio of uncircumcised to circumcised is getting pretty even.
I am with @naturelover on the difference of cancer probability being statistically insignificant. Hygiene and likelihood of contracting STDs were the other two potential health issues that come to mind from a recent article that I read. Hygiene is definitely something that needs to be taught regardless of whether a penis is left intact so it seems like a nonissue. The last one...well that gets to a whole other arena. That is a lot of research to consider and I still have a lot reading to do.
However, in a situation like the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Africa, routine infant and adult circumcision could easily be a HUGE benefit there, and should be widely recommended. The reduction in the transmission of HIV due to being circumsized could be tremendously beneficial in reducing new cases of infection. Especially since condom use is poor at best.
For mothers of uncircumcised boys, have they had any UTIs before or are UTIs pretty easy to prevent?
I'm going to read through all of these myself. I'm having a tough time with this too. My mother is adament that its cruel and SHE would not snip, but she had 3 daughters and did not have to decide she can be as preachy as she wants to. She says that the boy can decide later in life if he prefers to be circumsized. My husband is snipped and says he prefers it that way but says that if his parents had chosen not to, there is no way he'd go back and get trimmed as an adult.
Hygenie wish I think it's better
ExcitedMama2 I think its interesting that teenage boys do go back and do it later. That's a bit of a concern for me too. I'd rather have him not remember the pain versus having a vivid memory of it
My mom had a bush and I did not. I didn't feel like I needed a bush because mommy had one.
If your feelings are this soft and tender over a facetious joke, the bump might not be the best place for you.
I hate the bs that all decisions are equally valid. How about circumcizing your daughter, hmm? Plenty of women who have been circ'd speak out that they are fine with it. Guess what, it's not your genitilia, not your choice. It does not provide medical benefits, it removes healthy functioning nervous tissue meant to protect and lubricate the head of the penis, and it does not have a damn thing to do with "hygeine". Would you circ a girl for "hygeine"? That's one of the justifications given. Because normally functioning healthy genitals are apparently disgusting.
Btw, it's not the norm to circ in Europe, and their dicks are fine.
Once baby was born and he saw the perfect perfect perfect little intact penis he finally and 'magically' got it, and suddenly all I had been saying blossomed and he because very anti circ himself. Funny how that happens.
Edited for grammar
I understand the idea of not looking like daddy. Some children are observant. But whatever you decide, you'll also have a great response for this. Lots of kids have different characteristics, I expect my kids will wonder why they are lighter/darker than their parents. It's a good talking point to be prepared for.
I agree that you have to block out the opinions of grandparents. My mother in law did the same with me. I put my foot down and let her know it was between hubby and I. When you've done your research and you see your little boy, your heart will know what you should do.
Looking back, I totally regret it now. Poor little guy was in so much pain. Every time I had to change him, and clean it almost made ME pass out. It still makes me shudder to this day.
FWIW: If this baby is a boy he will not be circ'ed. I love my DH to death and I respect his opinion more than anyone else's, but this isn't up for debate. I'm not putting another child of mine through that pointless BS.
*I hope everything works out for you and hopefully your DH comes around. As far as family's input on it...don't listen to what they want/have to say on the matter. Like PP have said, they've had their chance and it's not their child.
Once our perfect baby boy was born, plans changed. We couldn't bare the thought of them taking our newborn away from us to tie him down and cut him for no good reason.
It's a personal decision. There's not right answer. Personally, I could never do it.
If my son has any issues with his penis not being circ later in life then he has every right to get it done. His penis, his choice.
Whatever you decide, OP, make sure it's not influenced by others opinions, but your own research.
That's just us tho... You do what you feel is right.