Intro and a Question about being a SAHM and nanny :)

brandlebugg

Hi moms!

This is my first time posting to this board, so for a quick intro. I'm a SAHM who graduated with my Masters in August of last year. LO was born Jan 1 so I was unable to find work between graduating, being pregnant, and having the baby. And now... I sorta love staying home with him. As you are all aware, it's not an easy job but it's wonderful that I'm not missing his milestones and that we're financially secure enough for me to stay home with baby.

My question is regarding a possible job opportunity I have been offered. One of my friends from church texted me yesterday and asked me if I would be interested in nannying for her. She has two children, one is 2 weeks younger than my baby and the other is 2 years old. The 2 year old goes to preschool two days out of the week for a couple hours a day. The job would be from 7a-3p, 4 days a week, $50 a day.

Has anyone on this board ever nannied while being a stay at home mom? Or is anyone currently doing this? I find it challenging during the day to come up with new activites for my 8 month old. I'm wondering if that is going to make nannying difficult, or if it might make my day as a SAHM a little better because LO will have another baby to play with. Any other thoughts feel free to discuss. I've never nannied before but I used to babysit a lot while I was a teenager; and the reason why this friend asked me is because I volunteer at church in the toddler room and her 2 year old loves me I'm just wondering if it's going to be too much to watch 3 LOs or if I'm going to go stir crazy. 

Another thing I had just started a meetup playgroup in the area and I don't want to lose these new friendships which are starting. I'm nervous about trying to keep an eye on three kids (two the same age) if we ever go out of the house to do a playdate at the park, etc.

Ok. Go! and Thanks for your help!

notkateanymore

Why would you do any job for $6 an hour?

brandlebugg

Because it's pretty much the same job that I do now and I don't make any money. Plus I'd be helping a friend... thanks for your very helpful comment. 

dizzycooks

I would just point out that it takes the flexibility you currently have off the table unless you have a double/triple stroller and a car large enough to transport all the kids.  Do you have things within walking distance?  I think there is the possibility the babies would enjoy each other, but they will also have days when they are both needy.  Can you handle that?  Do you want to?  Once they are mobile you are going to be BUSY.

I guess I would consider it on a temporary basis if your friend is open to it and re-evaluate in a month or so.

brandlebugg

dizzycooks said:

I would just point out that it takes the flexibility you currently have off the table unless you have a double/triple stroller and a car large enough to transport all the kids.  Do you have things within walking distance?  I think there is the possibility the babies would enjoy each other, but they will also have days when they are both needy.  Can you handle that?  Do you want to?  Once they are mobile you are going to be BUSY.

I guess I would consider it on a temporary basis if your friend is open to it and re-evaluate in a month or so.

Thank you for your thoughtful response. So my friend told me that I could use their van to go places and there are things in walking distance like a park, etc. I am wondering if I can handle all three babies. I'm really hoping there is a mom on here who has done it so that I can get some helpful advice based on experience.

I told my friend I'd like to try it out for a couple weeks before we set it in stone as a permanent position. 

brandlebugg

I want to point out that I'm not asking what would you do and I'm not asking if you think it is worth the money. My question was, are there any moms out there who currently do this and how do you like it? What are the challenges? What are the benefits?

Just hoping that this makes my question more clear. I see the benefits of actually having a little bit of extra spending cash, having other babies for my LO to play with, and having a job tax free where I don't have to pay a sitter because I can bring my baby to work... like good perks.

notkateanymore

Just a little welcome note...you can't tell us what we can comment on and what we can't. You'll have a very short stay if you don't figure that out. Working for $6 is completely nuts IMO and as @amy052006‌ says you're being taken advantage of.

notkateanymore

No job is tax free...except illegal ones. What did you get your Masters in?

brandlebugg

amy052006 said:

My bad, $200 a week. Same problem. She is trying to screw you over.

Ok amy052006, after I reply to this comment, I'm not going to say anything else to you. I do not believe this friend is trying to screw me over. She is a teacher. She doesn't make that much money herself. I personally believe that if I was charging her more that I would be screwing her over and it wouldn't be worth her going to work if she was giving me her entire paycheck. She may as well stay at home with her kids herself. I had looked into working before baby came. Childcare costs are ridiculous, which is why I decided to stay home. I did however find sahms who ran in home daycares and charged as low as $25 per day. Now, I will reiterate again, money is not an issue. I don't feel like I need to ask for more money, and I don't think it's unreasonable that she would offer to pay $50 a day considering right now I make no money and watch a baby all day long.  

notkateanymore

LOL @Andrewsgal‌

vlagrl29

notkateanymore said:

No job is tax free...except illegal ones. What did you get your Masters in?

that is so true…..btw - I don't think this job would be worth the little money you would be making.

brandlebugg

Ok it's official. I hate the bump. Thanks to some people who actually gave me things to consider. The rest of you can go to hell.

vlagrl29

classy

Andrewsgal

Oh lord how did I miss this one? Your friend is royally screwing you and laughing the whole time. She is literally getting BOGO childcare. $50 a day is insulting and she must think you are not very bright. But then again you are considering it so that says something. This is as nice as I get..... This is a terrible idea, you will hate it, you are being used and no real friend would ask this of you.

notkateanymore

brandlebugg said:

Ok it's official. I hate the bump. Thanks to some people who actually gave me things to consider. The rest of you can go to hell.

Best. Early. Birthday. Present. Ever.

magentawarped

Dammit, why do all the fun threads happen while I'm at the gym?

I got $275 a week for watching one baby when I was pregnant with my first, and even that price was a favor. People are telling you that price is insulting because, well, it is. No one takes on an extra baby and a toddler just for funsies.

notkateanymore

Exactly @magentawarped‌ OP, nobody was being rude (to begin with) when we say $6 isn't worth it. But now you can go to hell bc you're a big crybaby.

id012

I nanny 3 days a week. The kids are much older then ds tho which I think is easier because theres no fight I I've toys and he looks up to them. I watch 3 kids and I get paid 100$ a day. No way would I do it for a dollar less and actually wish I asked for more money to begin with.
To be honest it kind of sucks and iv been want I to quit. Im going to stick it out until I have this baby tho(extra money for the holidays). Then im done.
Good luxk! Maybe you can try it for like 3 weeks at 1st and then re evaluate.

=Lee=B

I can sort of answer.  I have a strong background in early childhood education and am a certified teacher and I have zero interest in working outside the home and putting my daughter in daycare (while I go care for other children).

I just closed up my home daycare as I was caring for 5 children under age 2 (all 14-20months),  I was working long hours and was so emotionally drained at the end of the day my family/husband were getting the least from me.  I closed up daycare and I have decided to take on one child in MY home 3 days a week. It will be for only $55 a day (8.5hr/day). This child was my daughters best friend from my daycare and the family was very easy going.  I know what to expect from the family and child going into this arrangement and I know the benefits to my daughter (and me) and I know the trade-offs.

Would I work OUTSIDE the home caring for another child in their home for $50 a day? NEVER.  There is a HUGE difference between doing it in my home versus theirs.  In my home I can do my cleaning and cooking and laundry while the kids play and sleep.  I have no commute and I am in my own comfort zone.  In my home I am the boss, in their home I am the employee and they are the boss.

Please keep in mind that it is a fair bit harder to entertain 2yr olds at the same time was 8month olds...they have very different needs and interests.  Three is harder than 2 for outings...and again the age difference can make it a bit harder.  Is it do-able...totally.  Is it worth the money...likely not UNLESS you need the money. 

I caution you to please realize that if you are working as a nanny, even if bringing your own child, you are NOT able to devote yourself  to your child and your family. Again, if you need the money then it is totally do-able but if it's just to help someone else out I would strongly advise you to think it over very cautiously.  You are not much help to them if you end up quitting in the near future when you are exhausted and unhappy. 

I used to nanny before having my daughter and before teaching and I was making $15 an hour.  Not all families can afford that and there are great families that can only pay $50 a day and there are great nannies that work those jobs...but I do truly believe now that they are either single childless women who love kids or they just really need some money because childcare is a truly exhausting job and it is very hard to be there for your own family after putting in 9-10hrs caring for a group of children.

I chose to close my home daycare to better be able to devote my time and energy to my family, I was making $210 a day (before taxes and expenses) and it just wasn't worth the time and energy it took when my toddler and husband were left with a mom/wife that was too exhausted and frazzled to meet their needs.

Aussie45

You're being extremely rude when people are pointing out the obvious. The cost for my DD who is two is 135 per week. Younger kids are around 165 and we live in an extremely low COL area. Your friend is screwing you and to me, it would not be worth it to lose your sanity and be tied down by two extra kids.

But by all means, keep on telling us to go to hell. If you can't handle the obvious truth that your getting cheated in this scenario then that's on you. Don't ask for advice and then turn your nose up at it when it's not to your liking.

Andrewsgal

brandlebugg said:

Hi moms!

This is my first time posting to this board, so for a quick intro. I'm a SAHM who graduated with my Masters in August of last year. LO was born Jan 1 so I was unable to find work between graduating, being pregnant, and having the baby. And now... I sorta love staying home with him. As you are all aware, it's not an easy job but it's wonderful that I'm not missing his milestones and that we're financially secure enough for me to stay home with baby.

My question is regarding a possible job opportunity I have been offered. One of my friends from church texted me yesterday and asked me if I would be interested in nannying for her. She has two children, one is 2 weeks younger than my baby and the other is 2 years old. The 2 year old goes to preschool two days out of the week for a couple hours a day. The job would be from 7a-3p, 4 days a week, $50 a day.

Has anyone on this board ever nannied while being a stay at home mom? Or is anyone currently doing this? I find it challenging during the day to come up with new activites for my 8 month old. I'm wondering if that is going to make nannying difficult, or if it might make my day as a SAHM a little better because LO will have another baby to play with. Any other thoughts feel free to discuss. I've never nannied before but I used to babysit a lot while I was a teenager; and the reason why this friend asked me is because I volunteer at church in the toddler room and her 2 year old loves me I'm just wondering if it's going to be too much to watch 3 LOs or if I'm going to go stir crazy. 

Another thing I had just started a meetup playgroup in the area and I don't want to lose these new friendships which are starting. I'm nervous about trying to keep an eye on three kids (two the same age) if we ever go out of the house to do a playdate at the park, etc.

Ok. Go! and Thanks for your help!

QFP

Andrewsgal

Junebugmommy01 said:

Maybe it all depends the area?  I was confused when reading some of your responses regarding the amount.  Before I moved, we paid an in home daycare $125 a week.  It was the going rate in the area.  Where we live now, its even cheaper & if I chose to send her to a program, its $100 a week.  We are currently paying $150 a MONTH for her to go to Pre-K 3 times a week for a total of 9 hours.  I wouldn't think twice about $50 being "too low". We live in a low cost area though?
:-/

I see stuff like this and it totally makes me wonder. I live in a pretty LCOL area too. And yes while you can find in home child are for $125 a week it is not a place I would want my kid. I am all about bargains but child are is one place I don't think one should bargain shop.

=Lee=B

Costs for a home nanny should be a lot more than costs for home daycare.  In home daycare the providers if being paid by numerous families so her income isn't just the $125 you paid.  In this case her income will just be  what the families pays.  Home daycare fees do greatly depend on the area, the competition and the services provided.  I was making $55 per child per day...other daycare up my street were making $35-40 per child per day (I was at capacity and they never were).

But, being a nanny is very different.  You also have to factor in travel time.  What will you do when your child is sick?  What will you do when their children are sick?  As a nanny it is expected that you care for sick children so the parents can still work...are you willing to bring your child with you when you know the other children are contagious?  Will you have back up care for someone to care for your child when they are sick and you still need to work?  The other family can't be expected to take a sick day so you can care for your child. 

What will they do when you take a vacation?  What will they do when you need time off to bring your child (or you) to the doctor)?  Where will your child nap?  How will you manage 2 infants at nap time...with a 2yr old.  Who is responsible for feeding you and your daughter (will they supply the food)? 

If you do take this job make sure you have a written contract covering all of the above so both parties know what to expect.

I'd also suggest asking this on the toddler board or another board...as you are asking a bunch of SAHM questions about being a working mom...likely not the best audience to get answers from!!!

bumpuser8448316

If the majority of answers are that it's a terrible idea.....

Those of us with more than 1 kid (esp those with twins) have more experience with how hard it can be to take care of multiple LOs. And LOL that Babis are going to play with each other

kcisthebombdotcom

Not on a permanent basis but I've helped friends out in a bind. It fucking sucks. I would actually rather work full time and pay for daycare instead of nanny. Very soon your child will be mobile as is the infant you're watching so while you may find it easy now your life is going to drastically change in the upcoming months. The kids will not play together-on the contrary there will be lots of toy stealing and crying. If you had say a three year old and were considering watching another three year old-something like that might be enjoyable. Otherwise nononono

penguingrrl

I think taking an additional infant and toddler in addition to your infant would be incredibly difficult. I understand that you love kids, know and like these particular kids and are looking to help a friend as well, but it would have to be a pretty desperate situation for me to take that on.

And while $50 a day for one child might be a low but acceptable price for a daycare center or in home childcare provider, for a private nanny for 2 children it's just absurd. Your friend is taking advantage of you if she thinks she can get you to be a private nanny for that price. I understand that she doesn't make a ton of money and still needs to have income after the cost of childcare, but that's why there are more affordable options available than private nannies. 

If you do take this make sure you report the income to the IRS. You could get in a lot of trouble for not reporting it should you face an audit.

bumpuser924057

OP, I have a three year old who is in preschool twice a week and 14 month old twins, so six months ago I had the same setup but all three were my own children. I find it very difficult to handle all of them even though I do it all the time. Everything is a hassle - meals are a disaster, naps are tough, taking them out to do things is almost pointless. I can't even take the kids to the park right now because the little ones take off in opposite directions and I can't keep them both safe.

I do this because I have to, because they're my kids. There is no amount of money in the world someone could pay me to deal with this every day if they weren't mine, and $50 a day for sure wouldn't even begin to cover it. You have one young child and are just heading into that magic and fleeting period of time when they're not helpless babies and they're not asshole toddlers. Don't ruin that for yourself and your daughter by taking on someone else's kids.

NicoleWI

Another baby under age 1 plus a 2 year old? I think this would be really hard and make your days crazy. No WAY would I want to do that.

Leaving the pay out of it, there are all sorts of logistical issues that others raised. Car seats, going anywhere is a nightmare, kids being sick, one gets sick they all get sick. Plus, not sure if this was at your house or hers? Either way isn't great. AT your house, what if her kids wreck stuff? We had a nanny who brought a child and this was a big issue. He was wild and broke stuff all the time. At her house, you give up all your freedom and ability to get anything done during the day (for very low pay). The mess they make will be way bigger than the mess you have now, so you have to factor in dealing with that.

I would pass.

carryon23

I've done it in the past, and would never do it again.  $50 a day for 2 kids?  No way.  You give up a lot of freedom and time with your own kid(s). 

minerswife17

sing4mysavior said:

Pros: extra income Help a friend Cons: two babies (and later two toddlers) are a CRAP TON of work--my twins are newly 3 and NOW they like to play together Commute time Sick time (as others stated---what happens when those kids are sick, when yours is sick?) Enough car seats? Big enough stroller? What about appoitments and activities? Who pays? Who feeds you (or them if they come to your home)...who pays for that food? Nap time with 3 children under 2...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA supervising a toddler and 2 barely mobile toddlers on the playground soon? Also hahahahaha $3 a hour per kid? IMO it's just not going to be worth the tears, fights, whining, danger, hitting, non sleeping, transportation and logistical nightmares of caring for 3 small children...3 an hour is just not enough for how much attention and care 3 people require. It will NOT help you come up with stuff to do. You'll be more frazzled and busy--too busy to come up with Inspiring activites to do with 3 kids. If you struggle to entertain one, how will adding more chaos help?? Do you cuddle your LO b4 naps? Will you cuddle yours but not theirs? Potty training two kids the same age is also fun...I can also imagine PT a toddler while caring for two infants--oy Twins are a lot of work. Twins and a toddler? I don't even know. Twins and a toddler that aren't YOURS for $6 an hour? It's just not worth it. It's just not.

Wow. Just reading this made me exhausted....  I-)

raraavis28

@AshB62‌: come play with us more often!!

OP, a coworker of DH's casually mentioned offering me the "opportunity" to watch their preschooler and infant 3 days a week, on top of my twin toddlers, for way more than what you were offered. DH said "Oh hell no" before I had to :P

Aussie45

MrsMuq said:

Your "friend" wants to take advantage of your good nature and pay you $6.25 less an hour to watch not one, but two kids? Um, no. you must have the word "gullible" written on your forehead.

That's what her masters is in. Being gullible

allrightmeow

Laughing my fucking ass off.  

OP if you lose it so quickly just reading the replies of strangers on the net, I wonder how you'll cope with three crying, needy children under the age of 3.  

ASullivan1231

I'm late to the game, but don't be a fool. $50/day is beyond stupid. I work part time as a nanny in New England $17/hr. Friend or not, you'd be crazy to take on this job for so little money. If you don't want to hear that, that's on you and you're the fool.

brandlebugg

Ok everybody... here's an update.

First, (and I know the trolls are gonna jump on this, but I really don't care...) I'm sorry... lol. I really am though. I'm sorry for overreacting. First of all, you guys don't know this friend, and I took it very personally when complete strangers accused her of taking advantage of me. We can agree to disagree there (because I really don't think it was her intent to do this...). She was offering to pay me what her last babysitter accepted, but she was more than willing to talk about it.

I really appreciate the moms who chimed in about the reality of how difficult it is to take care of two infants the same age and a toddler. You gave me a lot to consider. That's really what I was asking in the first place. For the record, the toddler is already potty trained, so that's nice. As far as everyone saying infants don't play together, they play side by side. Yes, I know this. I'm really not an idiot although it may appear that way to some of you guys because I may have acted a little stupid. However, I notice that my baby tends to have a better day when we are around other babies. Even if he just observes other babies... it gives him something to do. I really like to get him out of the house and visit with other babies because ... he seems entertained by them even if they don't "play together" necessarily. 

Also, my friend has a van with extra car seats which is available to me. I was unaware of this up until yesterday, but they have a nice big backyard and a nice swingset... so if we wanted to go outside we wouldn't necessarily have to go to the park to play. 

I looked up rates in my area (I live in So Illinois near STL). The going rate is $10 for a nanny without experience, for one child. Because I really do care for this person who asked me to nanny, and I try to be nice because I believe that nice things happen to you when you're nice to other people, I told her that I would accept $10 per hour, but that I can't work for $6 an hour. I have you guys to thank for this, for reminding me of how much work it is to take care of babies and that I really should be compensated for my work. For some reason, I was just thinking I'd be doing the same thing I do at home with my LO but I'd just be getting paid for it. You guys are right that it's a different scenario when watching two additional kids who aren't your own.

The truth is, I really love this friend's little girl. She's a sweetheart (I was her sunday school teacher). She's pretty easy on her own, and she behaves really well. Although I know that watching children is a huge responsibility, I think I could take on the challenge of her and her younger brother.

As of now, I've agreed to help them out until they decide what to do about their babysitter. I told her know hard feelings if she needs to find another person who she can afford.

So once again, Thank you, and sorry for telling you to go to hell. Although, in my opinion, some of you were pretty mean

But as a joke at my own expense, here is my final thought:

brandlebugg

*no hard feelings!!!

not know hard feelings. 

Dang it

notkateanymore

Who exactly are you calling trolls in this apology? 

brandlebugg

Probably just the people who focus on things that are unimportant and then mention it in the thread to get a rise out of me or someone else. But I'm really not worried about it. I know that's the way some people are.

notkateanymore

LOL Ok...

allrightmeow

brandlebugg said:

Probably just the people who focus on things that are unimportant and then mention it in the thread to get a rise out of me or someone else. But I'm really not worried about it. I know that's the way some people are.

Muddling your apology with a dig makes you the troll in this situation girlfriend.  The comment above reinforces that.  

notkateanymore

allrightmeow said:

brandlebugg said:

Probably just the people who focus on things that are unimportant and then mention it in the thread to get a rise out of me or someone else. But I'm really not worried about it. I know that's the way some people are.

Muddling your apology with a dig makes you the troll in this situation girlfriend.  The comment above reinforces that.  

Ding ding ding.