Sex...or lack thereof

VTKatie

So, who's doin' it? How long PP are you? I just got cleared by doc at my 6 week checkup and now I feel obligated to start having sex again. It's stressing me out. My sex drive is non-existent, combine that with lack of sleep and a screaming baby...no thanks:/

jensavicci

Sex?! Hahahaha, nope.






But I have hope that one day....just maybe, I will again

dobbyisfree

Our baby still wakes up and screams whenever you put him down. I still sleep holding him. Until that goes away its not going to happen. Like I could have sex while the baby screams in the next room. DH asked if maybe we could give him some rum. Ughh.

TexasGirl81

I still have to wait at least a week and a half. I've always had a low sex drive, but this time I'm so ready! I miss my husband. It's like working out, you hate to get ready and prepared for it and driving to the gym, but once you're there you're glad you went. Ha!

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1982Babies

11 weeks PP, was cleared at 6 1/2 (PP appt)... i think we tried around 7 and have done it maybe 1x a week since.

to be fair, he's still sleeping in another room most nights so he can get some rest (he works days), so maybe when he moves back into the main bedroom full-time it will happen more

i don't really mind

Pinksundrops

@litera‌ is the tear the only thing they checked or did they check your uterus internally or even externally? I'm avoiding my pp check up as I don't like the person who did my prenatal care who is supposed to do the pp checkup but have a feeling I'll have to go to be cleared for sex eventually otherwise I'll be too scared to try anything!

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Nichole8787

I am supposed to get cleared next week. Dh is already planning a beach trip for just he and I next weekend.  This is me.....from one minute to the next....

marsalisails

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Last time we waited 8 weeks...MAYBE I'll want to have sex on my birthday at the end of September...MAYBE.

But we have two kids - one doesn't nap anymore, and the baby doesn't have a great bedtime routine yet...and let's face it - i fucking HATE my body right now. I want to give myself a few more good weeks (maybe a month) to get my shit together physically before I get naked again

Aab7114

Pretty much 8w pp and tried twice. It was pretty uncomfortable for me, even with being super gentle. The first time failed due to the use of warming lub. That sucked, I thought my insides were burning up! The second time failed when the baby woke up early.

The thought of doing it still makes me very anxious and I hate feeling obligated to do it (totally my own feelings). DH has been super patient and has not even tried to push anything I am not ready for, which of course makes me feel super guilty. Hopefully our next attempt will be a success for the poor guy!

TexasGirl81

Oh and to add, not to scare anyone. I was BF'ing (only) and got pregnant almost immediately. Hence our babies that are so close in age. Dumb dumb here!!!

cookieinva

Sure, we started at maybe 4-5 weeks? Back to somewhat regular now. I had a secnd degree tear. Last pregnancy we did it at 6 weeks after a third degree tear. I recommend for the first time that you maybe have a glass of wine or something first, and use lube and a condom. Less friction in this case is better. I feel like you can wait forever but the first time after is always going to be the first time after and you will be nervous, once you're cleared just go for it and get that first time out if the way.

[Deleted User]

Tried once at almost 4 weeks but I was still too sore, condom didn't help with the rubbing, and he totally poked himself on a stitch so... Yeah not so much. Then we had successful sex- twice! Yay!- since then at about 5 weeks PP. I went to my OB PP check up but he rambled on about making sure we got date night once or twice a month and gave me no update on my vag so I'm assuming no news is good news. I hope so since the last two rounds of sexy time were unprotected...

hab83

We've done it a few times. I'm almost 8 weeks PP. It's hard to have sex when you've got a baby attached to you one way or another - nursing or in the moby wrap usually. DH joked he could come in from behind while baby was in the moby wrap. Ha! (At least I think he was joking.)

abundancenow

I was a part of another mom forum years ago and someone described the experience as like 'throwing a hotdog down a hallway'. This description always stuck with me. I mean a baby's shoulders are pretty wide compared to a penis and kagals and an extra stitch can help, but things are still a bit stretched. Waited 6 weeks pp with my first baby and it was painful. Waited 8weeks this time and no pain. Put my son in front of a video and put DD in her crib and closed the door so if she cried I wouldn't hear. I knew I only needed about 15 minutes on a Sunday morning. DH kind of really needed some affection and I enjoyed the intimacy. Locked the door and now we are back in thru saddle. Did think of @TexasGirl81 and her Irish twins afterwards since we did not use protection.

Mamanorris81

We have been going at it like crazy. I have no sex drive whatsoever when pregnant and apparently now I am making up for it.

TurtleMonsters

I did once, not fun...but I was really looking forward to it (unlike most other times). Lot's o lube- good advice-@ZeroZeroOne.

Jbosarge85

5 weeks PP, started at almost 4weeks, we've done it about twice a week. Use lots of lube, it helps.

lowen83

I was cleared 5 1/2 weeks pp and I couldn't wait!! During pregnancy I wanted it all the time and we didn't do it at all the last couple of weeks soooo I couldn't wait. It was a RCS and I had the mirena put in Monday August 18, just shy of the 6 week mark. I waited for a low bleeding day and jumped his bones. I've been bleeding a little heavier since then though. Today... Almost not blood at all so you know what's up lol!!

darkangel42

No tearing or stitches here.  We tried once, very gently, about 5 weeks - I cried and OH felt terrible.

Since then we've had 2 more attempts (now 8 weeks) with more success but it still gets a little sore after a while so still a ways to go before we're back to normal.

We're also having BC issues because nothing agrees with me

Soon2BMrsN

I'll be 8w pp tomorrow. I was cleared at 5w but we didn't get around to doing it until just two nights ago. It didn't hurt as badly as I had anticipated but I'm certainly not thrilled to be back in the saddle. BFing always makes my drive nonexistent. Blah.

teamgreen14

7 weeks pp here. Haven't tried it. Have no interest to try it. doctors apt in 2 weeks.. I had a tear and then my stitches popped so haven't gotten clearance yet and that's good by me!

Fletch82

6w pp and have done it once. While slow going and sore it felt good connect intimately with DH.

Side note anyone else feel like teenagers again hunting for a condom and hoping not to get caught in the act

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shortstack930

Matthew930 said:

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Last time we waited 8 weeks...MAYBE I'll want to have sex on my birthday at the end of September...MAYBE.

But we have two kids - one doesn't nap anymore, and the baby doesn't have a great bedtime routine yet...and let's face it - i fucking HATE my body right now. I want to give myself a few more good weeks (maybe a month) to get my shit together physically before I get naked again

@Matthew930‌ Do we have the same birthday?! Mine is September 30

acciovino

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm 8 wks PP today and I'm pretty sure I am about to start my cycle.:( Cramping and bloated like a B. And I'm EBF!

I was cleared at 6 weeks but between baby being on boob almost every hour, no locks on our doors and a 4 year old who has to know where you are at all times....not happening.

alyss0nl

Started right around 6 weeks PP. Didn't hurt much this time around, probably since I didn't have any tears. With my first, we started around 5 weeks PP, and that sucked since I had a second degree tear. We're pretty much back to normal now.

netsirk2013

My 6 week pp visit is tomorrow. Though we have been doing it since 2 weeks pp. Came to a hault recently though.I've had some irritation in my uretha since I had the catheter. I thought it was normal, I've never had one before so I figured I had to heal from that trauma too. Well apparently it was a brewing & now a uti from hell. No hump hump for us until I feel 100% . On the plus side we are going camping as a family this weekend. EXCITED!

TricksyPixie

I had sex once.

Yup.

email2ash

7 weeks PP and once. I feel super accomplished!

glitterclaws

TexasGirl81 said:

I still have to wait at least a week and a half. I've always had a low sex drive, but this time I'm so ready! I miss my husband. It's like working out, you hate to get ready and prepared for it and driving to the gym, but once you're there you're glad you went. Ha!

To the bolded - Texas, this is fucking deep.  You are so right!

I got cleared at 4w PP (emergency c section).  I was on bedrest and/or pelvic rest since 20w, so I was ready to rock by the time I was cleared.  My goal has been 2x a week with eventually getting up to 3x a week.  

It's easier now that I'm not working, because I have enough "me" time throughout the day, that I want to spend (sexy) time with DH at night.  When I'm working, I need designated alone time to recover from my day (classic introvert here), so that leaves us less sexy time during the week.

Shelleybell

i am drinking heavily right now as i got cleared this morning at my 6 week pp appointment.   :-O

INmommy871278

We started at 2weeks pp and honestly I have lost track at how many times we have done it since. I'm 8 weeks pp now. No tearing here either; I'm really surprised by the number of women who had no tearing on this board.

JLHV1909

Wow, I'm amazed by some of you. I'm terrified and haven't been cleared yet. But consider me amazed that several of you did the deed so soon after pp. Between the episiotomy, additional tear, massive hemis (plural), and gross lochia discharge- my downstairs has been a no fly zone. :-(

emeek

Go to my 6 week pp check up tomorrow. Want to be cleared because i am so ready but at the same time I am terrified because i had a 4th degree tear so who knows how its going to go

Rawa1416

Cleared at 5 wks PP (emergency c section after pushing for an hour) tried at 7 wks and couldn't go through with it because the pain was unbearable. Hoping to try again this weekend on our mini vacation.

ADC1979

Not cleared here yet and I'm fine with that but question for those of you BFing who have DTD...did you have issues with milk letdown during it? Are there tricks to keep the letdown from happening then? Worried about becoming a flowing fountain during that time...awkward!!!

huggabunch

@ADC1979 I leak heavily from both sides when we DTD. I keep my bra on with disposable pads inside to keep from spraying DH. I know it wouldn't bother him, but being covered in breastmilk isn't all that sexy to me. I just wear my "sexiest" nursing bra.

livkight

Ugh. Tried this morning (I'm 4 weeks PP) and it huuuuurt. I had some vaginal tearing-- I still have stitches and they stung a lot. I was really hoping I'd be well enough for our anniversary this weekend, but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen.

likeanoldtimemovie

sarahbri10 said:

@ADC1979 I leak heavily from both sides when we DTD. I keep my bra on with disposable pads inside to keep from spraying DH. I know it wouldn't bother him, but being covered in breastmilk isn't all that sexy to me. I just wear my "sexiest" nursing bra.

This. We learned the hard way when DH rolled over in the middle of the night to cop a feel and I ended up soaked in milk.