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IVF first cycle baby loss :(

cabriolinacabriolina member
in TTC After a Loss
Hi everyone I was supposed to be due April 20th but at my first u/s yesterday they saw that I had miscarried...my worst nightmare :( we've been trying to have a baby for 3 years and when we finally tried IVF this summer and it worked we were so happy! So hard to have your dreams shattered. I cannot stop crying and I haven't even started bleeding yet bc I was on progesterone gel I never has any sign of loss and today will be my first day not using progesterone so I will prob start bleeding soon. I'm so bummed :( I can't stop thinking about it and crying...happy one day devastated the next :(
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Re: IVF first cycle baby loss :(

  • BookishMommaBookishMomma member
    I'm so very sorry. I hope you'll find the board to be a comforting place.
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    DX: I'm a Recurrent Loser
    Me (35) + DH (37) - Married Sept. 2007
    BFP #1 - DS born 7/11/11
    BFP#2 11/13/13 - EDD 7/29/14 - M/C at 5w3d
    BFP #3 12/28/13 - EDD 9/7/14 - M/C at 4w6d
    BFP#4 3/27/14 -  EDD 12/5/14 - Girl lost to 45X at 8w6d - D&C 
    BFP#5 10/15/14 - EDD 6/30/15 - M/C at 7w2d
    BFP #6 1/5/15 - EDD 9.16.14 [CLICKY for progress]
    In search of a image


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  • cabriolinacabriolina member
    It's so hard I can't stop crying :( I try to calm down but I cant
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  • MyFirstRaspberryMyFirstRaspberry member
    I am so very sorry for your struggles and your loss. Be gentle with yourself, you are trying your best.

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    TTC #1 since June 2012
    Current Status:  IVF with ICSI and PGS
    Genetic, RPL, SA and Fertility testing = Normal/Good        HSG = All Clear
    BFP #1 12.30.2012  ||  Blighted Ovum 02.05.2013  ||  D&C 02.11.2013
    BFP #2 09.10.2013  ||  c/p 09.12.2013
    BFP #3 12.1.2013  ||  mm/c  01.15.14  ||  D&C 01.21.14  chromosome abnormality
    May 2014:  Residual HCG and retained tissue found
    05.13.2014:  Hysteroscopy D&C to find and remove retained tissue
    June 2014:  Tissue sample results indicate a partial molar pregnancy
    May - Aug 2014:   TTA for monitoring and testing
    08.21.2014:  Hysteroscopy to remove minor scar tissue - the result of 3 D&Cs
    Sept/Oct: IUI #1  Femara + Bravelle + Ovidrel = BFN
    Oct/Nov: IUI #2  Femara + Ovidrel = BFN
    Nov/Dec: IUI #3  Femara + Bravelle + Ovidrel = BFN

    My Ovulation Chart  || *~*~All AL Welcome~*~* ||  DIY Blog

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  • mrandmrsvmrandmrsv member
    So sorry for your loss. It's so unfair and none of us should have to go through this. Although I haven't tried IVF yet, hubby and I lost our first pregnancy after trying for about 3yrs and half. It's so hard especially after trying for a while. Feel free to PM if you need someone to chat to.
    **Big Hugs**


    TTC since March 2011

    1st BFP - June 5th, 2014 
    (EDD - Feb 8th, 2015)
    MMC/D&C - July 17th, 2014

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  • uromysuromys member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. We all know the struggles with trying to cope. Be kind to your self and know that you are surrounded by a group of woman that know exactly how you feel. ((HUGS))

    DH & I are both 28    Together: 12 years    Married: 09/24/2011

    BFP#1: January '12 - DD1 09/16/2012

    Preterm labor 31 weeks. Monitored for Hellp and diagnosed with oligohydramnios July '12

    BFP #2: 06/25 - EDD 03/05/15 MMC confirmed 8/1 - D&E 8/4 retained tissue discovered 8/20

    BFP #3 11/24 - 12/15 Heartbeat detected - DD2 07/29/15

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  • littlecookielittlecookie member
    Totally normal for you to be crying often so fresh off this news. It will take time to heal. So sorry for your loss.
                          January Siggy Challenge: You had one job
     
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  • Km380Km380 member
    I'm sorry for your loss. Crying is normal, you're devastated and your hormomes are going to be out of whack for a little bit. Cry when you need to. Holding your emotions in won't help anything. Give yourself time to heal and grieve. This board is full of amazing, supportive women to help you through.

    PgAL welcome


    Married 6/11/2011

    Me & Hubby: 34

    TTC journey started 12/2012

    BFP #1 6/5/2013, MC confirmed 6/26/2013 @ 7 wks

    BFP#2 8/25/2013 MC confirmed 10/16/2013 @ 12 wks (D&C 10/18)

    Diagnosis: unexplained RPL, unexplained IF.

    Also have hypothyroidism

    Started TTC again 12/2013

     

    IUI#1:Clomid CD 3-7, Trigger'ed CD 12. IUI CD 14. BFN

    IUI #2:Letrozole CD 3 - 7, Follistim CD 9, Trigger CD 10, IUI CD12. BFN

    Current plan: IVF with PGD. Antagonist - Vivelle Protocal. Stim start 12/1. ER 12/14.

    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/502498

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  • stinybeanstinybean member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Many ((HUGS)). I hope you find the comfort and support you are looking for here. Welcome.
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  • matiekaematiekae member
    I am so sorry for your loss. This is a great place to come to for support. Many ((Hugs)).

    BFP#1: 8/5/14 EDD: 4/17/15 MC: 8/20/2014
    BFP#2: 10/10/14 EDD: 6/23/15 Grow, Baby. Grow!!
                                                              
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    J15 January Siggy Challenge: Pinterest Fails
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

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  • ctk181ctk181 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I think we all can relate to that feeling of joy one day replaced by complete devastation the next. The crying is normal, I was the same. I could not stop for almost 3 straight days. My head was pounding and I could hardly breathe from crying so much but I couldn't stop. But it does get better with some time. I hope you find the support you need here. ((Hugs))
    Married: 4/28/12
    BFP: 7/2/14 ;  1st US 7/21/14 Baby measuring 7w5d, HB of 138;  Discovered MMC 8/18/14 at 11w2d, baby measuring 8w5d, no hb ; 8/19/14 D&C
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    TTCAL December siggy challenge - Autocorrect Fails

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    | <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Tracker</My Chart

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  • PinkCaminoPinkCamino member
    I am so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. I'm mobile so I'm having a hard time reading PPs responses but wanted to suggest you visit the miscarriage board as well. Most of the ladies here are in the TTCAL phase of their journey and right now you may benefit from the support of ladies who are fresher from their losses. ((((Hugs))))
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  • katib77katib77 member
    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost our FET baby after four years of IF, IUIs and IVF. I will warn you that with a missed m/c stopping progesterone doesn't necessarily start the process. I was on PIO shots and suppositories and nothing started so a few days later I chose to take the miso.

    TTC since July 2009. Dx MFI & LPD. 
    IUI#1&2&3 (2011 & 2012) BFN
    IUI#4 1/23/13 on 75iu x9 Follistim = BFP then chem preg m/c (Feb 2013)
    IUI#5 BFN (April 2013)
    IVF w/ICSI Oct. 2, 2012 - 13R, 11M, 7F, 1 frozen blast 4BB grade - - - FET Nov 15, 2013
    BFP! Beta 1:104 @ 10dp6dt, Beta 2:178 @ 12dp6dt,  beta 3:366 @ 14dp6dt
    Saw heartbeat twice before missed M/C at 8w3d on 12/27/13, missing my little angel boy
    JUNE 2014 IVF#2;  5R, 2M, 1F Three day transfer 6/7.  Beta 6/18 - BFN
    Child Free Now?
     S/PAIFW , S/PALW

    My Blog

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  • rslh10rslh10 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. What pink said is a great suggestion. Sending you many hugs.
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    Hubs & I -29 • Met 5/18/04 • Married 5/8/10
    BFP #1 DS 2/7/11 (Born @ 34 wks via ECS due to Pre-e) TTC #2 since Aug '13
    DX Low AMH (.58) March '14 • FSH-7.5 • E2-35.5 (Nov '14)
    SA- Great numbers • SIS- Clear (Nov '14)
     Cycle 1- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-BFP • EDD 1/12/15 
    Ectopic @ 5w6d • Methotrexate Shot 5/18/14
    Cycle 2,3,4- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-- BFN
    Cycle 5- Letrozole CD3-7 & Trigger BFFN
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    • Everyone Welcome •
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge • Animal Snow Interactions
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  • meredithcarolemeredithcarole member
    I am so sorry for your loss.  Welcome.
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

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    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

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    My Ovulation Chart
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  • sfazarsfazar member
    I'm so very sorry for your loss.  I also cried uncontrollably. Like the other ladies said, be gentle to yourself. For me that meant ordering takeout and lying in bed with my dog and watching pretty much every season of the Office. I hope you find comfort here and that you are getting the support from your medical team that you deserve.
           The best coping mechanism I have found is taking things one day at a time.

    Me (34); DH (35)

    BFP 11/25/13; Heard strong heartbeats for 3 weeks; Natural MC (1/15/14)

    BFP 11/11/14 EDD 07/21/15 hoping for our rainbow!

    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • mflowers929mflowers929 member
    So sorry for your loss. It's really unfair that any of us are here, but at least in being here we have others who can relate. Take your time grieving, and know that you'll have some awesome support as back up.
    Momma to 3 angels and two amazing children
    F born June 2018
    W born September 2020
    #3 due November 2022
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    So sorry for you loss. There aren't words to describe what you're feeling now, unfortunately we've all been there. All you can do now is give yourself time to heal. HUGE ((hugs)) welcome to the board. 
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  • jms627jms627 member
    cabriolina - So very, very sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

    ***Siggy Warning - loss mentioned***

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    Pregnancy Ticker

    *S15 Siggy January Siggy Challenge - Happy Dance*

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    ME: 32   DH: 38

    BFP#1 - 7/18/14; EDD 3/23/14; MMC 8/11/14 (passed naturally on 8/17/14)

    BFP#2 - 12/29/14; EDD 9/10/15 *PLEASE BE OUR RAINBOW!*

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  • tlc35tlc35 member
    I am so sorry for your loss.  Cry when you need to.  It sucks.  I hope you find some comfort here.
    Me: 37                                               
    DH: 45
    BFP #1 3/19/14  EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
    BFP #2  12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
    Saw heartbeat 12/29.  Please be a rainbow.
    imagerainbows
              
    All welcome                                   
                              
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  • DenaMareeDenaMaree member
    Big Big Hugs!! Take everything one day at a time. For us we looked at it as being hopeful since we now know we can get pregnant and I threw myself into looking into every test I could find to be tested with to see if we could learn why we had our loss. It made time go faster and gives me confidence and finally hope with starting fertility again (my loss was in Apr and we took off through two full cycles).
        BFP: 2/24/14 | EDD: 10/22/14 (triplets) 
    US (with RE) 3/24/2014 (two healthy HB), US (with OB) 3/31/2014 (three healthy heartbeats)
    US (with RE) 4/7/14 No Heartbeats :(  | D&C 4/8/14
    BFP#2: 10/22/14 | (beta  #1 75, beta # 2 219) | EDD 7/3/15 ~*Please be our RAINBOW*~
    DX: MTHFR hetero C677T


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  • PinkCaminoPinkCamino member
    DenaMaree said:
    Big Big Hugs!! Take everything one day at a time. For us we looked at it as being hopeful since we now know we can get pregnant and I threw myself into looking into every test I could find to be tested with to see if we could learn why we had our loss. It made time go faster and gives me confidence and finally hope with starting fertility again (my loss was in Apr and we took off through two full cycles).
    That statement can be hurtful to ladies who RPL and not provide comfort. I can get pregnant but my body can't carry - these platitudes are best left off the board.
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  • alm288alm288 member
    I'm very sorry for your loss and struggles. I do hope you can find some comfort here. There's lots of great knowledgeable women here. Take care of yourself and welcome.
    TTC: Since July 2013
    BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
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  • negritosmaminegritosmami member
    i am just so sorry you have to go thru this...we all totally understand how you feel..first few days all i did was cry...it helps to do that...i still cry and its been almost a  month....do what you need to do to cope..its all ok...again im so sorry for you loss!!

    ~TTC #1 Since 3/2014
    ~BFP #1 6/2014      EDD 2/11/15
    ~MMC 7/31/14 @12weeks ~D&C /2/2014  

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  • aves0708aves0708 member
    I am so very sorry for your loss.  I hope you can find some comfort and support in this board. ((hugs))

    Me (29): Hashimoto's, CD3/7DPO bloodwork & ultrasound normal, HSG & SHG(x2) all clear
    DH (29): SA Perfect
    TTC Since Jan '13, First RE Appt Jan '14
    DX: Unspecified Ovarian Dysfunction, Long Cycles
    May '13 BFP, C/P 4w3d
    Apr '14:  50mg clomid + ovidrel + B2B IUI #1=BFP,  Natural M/C 6.5wks
    Aug '14: 50mg clomid + ovidrel + B2B IUI #2=BFN
    Oct '14: 100mg clomid + ovidrel + IUI#3 =BFN
    Nov 14: 100mg clomid + ovidrel + B2B IUI#4=slow response, bad lining, cancelled
    FU with RE, more bloodwork: Anticardiolipin +
    Dec 14: 5mg Letrozole+baby aspirin +ovidrel + B2B IUI#4.1=BFFN
    Jan '15: 5mg Letrozole +baby aspirin + ovidrel +B2B IUI #5= BFP!! 
    Beta #1 210  Beta #2 546


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  • Elliecat17Elliecat17 member
    Big big hugs! I'm so sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve and heal. There is nothing easy about a loss, and it is alright to be sad. Don't be hard on yourself! Welcome to the board. i hope you find the support you need.
    Me: 24 
    DH: 25
    BFP: 1/12/14       EDD: 9/18/14     MC: 1/15/14
    BFP: 5/6/14         EDD: 1/5/15       MC: 5/10/14
    BFP: 12/29/14      EDD: 9/12/15      MC: 1/5/15
    Dx: PCOS - 8/20/14, Hashimoto's - 10/10/14, Gluten Allergy 10/10/14


    My Chart

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    TTCAL January Challenge
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  • KS0510KS0510 member
    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. :( Many positive thoughts your way. Take care of yourself, sweetie.
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  • ellebelle2384ellebelle2384 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  ((hugs))  Please be kind to yourself in this tough time.
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

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  • MSU_Girl1202MSU_Girl1202 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself. This is a wonderful board with so much support. Big ((hugs))
    Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
    08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
    10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
    04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
    05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
    03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
    4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
    5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
    7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
    9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d      
    10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
    2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
    3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
    6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
    2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
    6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
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  • natalie115natalie115 member
    I am so so sorry for your loss. Lots of ((hugs))

    Started TTC Nov. 2011 

    1st clomid cycle June 2012- No response :: HSG August 2012- Left tube blocked, right tube clear :: 2nd clomid cycle Aug. 2012 BFN :: 3rd clomid cycle Sept. 2012 :: BFP Sept 30th :: DS born 6/15/13 :: BFP #2 7/29/14 M/C 8/5/14 :: BFP#3 10/20/14 DD born 7/1/2015 :: Applied to be surrogate April '17 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for IFs Dec. '17 :: Surro Babe born 9/11/18 :: Started 2nd Journey May '19 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for new IFs 9/24/19 :: HB 138 at 6w6d


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  • cabriolinacabriolina member
    Thanks everyone for all your support. It humbles me to know that all of you understand what I'm going through. I'm allowing myself to cry but try to keep busy and get my mind off of what's happened. Kind of hard when your cramping and waiting for your period to start...it's a constant reminder. Have to go have another blood test Sunday to see if my betas have gone down even more as they want it to go past zero into the negatives :( so depressing :( I have 2 frozen embryos and will try again...still so hard to imagine I'm going through this ...it feels like I'm living a dream or should I say nightmare :( thanks for the comfort everyone. May the angels surround you all in love and light xo
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